He nods, accepting the apology. Then his expression changes, becomes something more complicated, a look that makes my gut twist.
“Speaking of which,” he says carefully. “Bayo mentioned you’ve gotten, well, close to the target. Very close.”
My chest tightens. This is why Cal is really here, isn’t it?
“Bayo talks too much.”
“He’s worried about you. We all are.” Cal swirls the cognac in his glass, not meeting my eyes. “Vanguard’s not just any mark, Mia. He’s powerful, he’s dangerous, and he’s connected to people who make other powerful, dangerous people look like children playing dress-up.”
“I’m aware.”
“Are you?” Now he’s looking at me, and there’s something sharp in his gaze. “Because from what I’m hearing, it sounds like you’ve lost perspective.”
He might be right but still, I narrow my eyes at him, my hackles raised. “I haven’t lost anything.”
“You’re fucking him, Mia,” he says, the words sounding bitter. “I was briefed on everything, including the fact that he’s immune to your poison.”
I bury my head in my hands, shaking it. “Ugh, I do not want to be having this conversation with you.”
“Why? Because you think I can’t handle it? Because a long time ago I told you that I loved you and you turned me down? Look, I get it, I always have, but I don’t carry that torch for you anymore, Mia. I’m here as a friend and nothing else. I’m looking out for you because I don’t want you to make a big fucking mistake, because that’s what’s going to happen if you keep going on this way.”
“Alright,” I say quietly, surprised by his outburst.
“You’re in too deep,” he goes on. “We all know it. And we’re worried. We’re worried that you don’t know how to separate your job from your heart, or whatever part of you is calling those shots. We’re worried that you’re putting that first, and not the mission, not the job, not your role as a NOC. Frankly, we’re worried that you’re compromised, and if that’s the case…”
“I’m not compromised,” I snap at him. I believe it, I have to.
His eyes flick over my face, trying to read the signs, just as I was doing to him.
“Good,” he says finally. “Otherwise that would be a problem. For you and for the mission.”
“I know what’s at stake, Cal.”
“Do you?” He sets his glass down and stands, moving toward me. Not threatening—just close. “Because the moment you’re in too deep and can’t reach the surface, we might not be there to pull you out. Understood?”
“Loud and clear.”
Leave no one behind doesn’t apply to NOCs.
He picks up his bag, slinging it over his shoulder. “I should go. Find a hotel, check in with Bayo, all the proper protocol things. Or maybe I’ll just be a tourist for a day. Haven’t seen this city in a long time.”
“Cal—” I say but stop myself. Because what I want to say is, I’m sorry it wasn’t you.
“I’m glad you’re okay, Mia.” He pauses at the door, his hand on the knob. “Really. When you went dark, I…” He shakes his head. “I’m just glad you’re okay.”
The sincerity in his voice makes me feel like the worst person alive.
“Me too,” I say quietly.
He opens the door, then hesitates.
“Oh yeah,” he says, not looking at me. “Whatever happened during those three days and whatever happened before, whatever you’re not telling me—just…be careful. Okay? People like Vanguard, they don’t fall for people like us. Not really. And when they figure out what we are…” He turns, and his expression is unreadable. “It never ends well.”
Then he’s gone, the door closing shut, the sound echoing across the room like a punctuation mark.
People like Vanguard don’t fall for people like us.
It never ends well.
