“No, it’s not something for them to worry about.”
I didn’t think I had any right to lecture her on this. I wasn’t forthcoming about what happened with Roys, or anything that happened with me. Our group had been a comfort over the years, but others had come and gone. I wouldn’t have considered any of them dear friends because I couldn’t afford that. We didn’t live in a reality that rewarded us for loyalty, but…
Arana showed loyalty more often than I could count, and Roys had, too. Troubled as he was, as we all were.
“It’s something we all have to worry about because those fuckers are on their way. Together, we can keep an eye on things,”I said.
“How is helping me watching out for yourself?” Her visor lightened to reveal the genuine curiosity in her eyes. “You said you would always choose yourself first.”
“I still am. If they are coming after you, the rest of us are in danger.” The lie tasted foul.
She laughed, somewhere between sad and relieved. “You’re right. We should tell them.”
“When we get back to the habitat?”
Nodding, we left it at that. Arana stayed in her position, and I returned to mine. In a fucked-up way, her trouble was a relief. The revelation of her predicament offered a moment to separate myself from my issues. The trouble with Roys lingered in the back of my mind while I considered our next moves to keep Arana safe.
Back at the habitat, I didn’t see Roys and didn’t have the time to look for him. I sent Zavir, Lilea, Iylene, and Ryker a message to meet in mine and Arana’s room to discuss a concerning matter. Soon, the six of us crowded together where Arana sat on my bunk, her head lowered and Iylene’s stern gaze on her.
“You are a fool,” said Iylene, hands on their hips and tongue flicking with an agitation unbecoming of them.
“She knows.” I slapped her back. Arana grumbled. “But we aren’t here to discuss her stupidity. We need to agree to let the others know if we notice anything suspicious.”
“Do you honestly believe this mob boss can reach Arana out here? I understand someone coming from the Company, they have the right connections, but…?” Ryker asked with a lit cigarette tapping against his bottom lip.
“Without a doubt,” said Zavir, causing Arana to flinch. Lilea took to sitting beside her so she could rub Arana’s back.
“They are unlikely to do anything purposefully to get the militia’s attention. However, if we get involved or are in the way, they will come after us, too. Nothing will stop these people, save their own deaths,” I said, reminding all of them what kind of trouble we could all get into. Our deaths would merely be a reason for them to charge more.
“Shouldn’t we tell the captain?” Lilea suggested.
My gaze drifted to my silent commlink. He hadn’t messaged and every part of me screamed, aching to see him, to hear from him, to run my fingers through his hair and listen to his heart beating.
“What could he do?” Ryker replied. “We have a mission here, and he either won’t jeopardize that by reassigning Arana, which means we can’t watch her, or ignore the issue altogether. I say we keep this to ourselves.”
Zavir and Arana gave their agreement. Iylene was open to changing their mind, and Lilea gave in after that. I didn’t give my thoughts because there were too many, and none of them I could share. All I knew was that we were in a shit ton of trouble, in more ways than one.
035
Sharinghadneverbeenmy strong suit, emotions specifically. I liked to treat mine like a rabid animal to be kept at bay. Emotions were tedious, an all-consuming algorithm switching the moment we foolishly believed we had cracked the code. Mine became too turbulent to control, and that was why I couldn’t sleep.
I stared at the top bunk where Arana slept. How lucky she was to sleep so peacefully while knowing hitmen were after her. I couldn’t sleep over a guy. That was fucked.
I told myself Arana’s predicament was at fault, too, but honestly, with all of us watching, I wasn’t as paranoid. The six of us could handle whatever came our way, especially with all the gear we had. Roys, on the other hand, was another situation entirely.
I should have kept my dick in my pants. None of this would have happened. I wouldn’t have known the connection between him and moira. Wouldn’t have seen him like that or learned about his family or given a damn or ended up losing sleep over a foolish bastard that had no right to fuck with me like this.
But maybe now it could all be over. He was too humiliated to speak to me. I would cease speaking to him. Our fun would end as if it had never begun. We’d be stuck together for a while until he or I got reassigned.
If I didn’t go do something, I would lie there all night worrying. The thought of knocking on Zavir’s door to request he twist me up like a pretzel crossed my mind, but I decided on booze instead. Roys even ruined my sex drive, that son of a bitch.
When I opened the bedroom door, my problem stood across the hall, more distressed than when we were in that dank cave. Roys hadn’t slept or shaved. A beard crawled across his jaw and those blue eyes ruined any plans I had. His shock was apparent. He must not have planned to knock, considering his back rested against the opposite wall.
The door shut behind me. I half wished someone would interrupt us; otherwise, I didn’t trust myself to leave.
“Lucky,” he whispered.
My stomach knotted, recalling the fierce look in his eyes, the sensation of his hands scrambling around me to get the vials. “Don’t call me that.”
