Lilea:Don’t scare us like that! You’re going to make my shell crack.
I followed Roys through the flora where neither of us spoke. His shoulders spanned the horizon, a beacon to follow that I wasn’t sure would keep me from a rocky shore or crash me against one. The air between us had thickened, becoming as sticky as the humidity.
What was there to say that wouldn’t make it worse? And for once I didn’t want to make it worse. I wanted it all to go away, so I could crawl back into myself and remain alone.
We caught up with Maddy, though kept a wide berth. Her rage spanned half a click, at least. I watched her back, still wondering, questioning, confused about why she pretended to give a damn. Roys was confusing enough. Tacking her onto the problem made it a thousand times worse. I didn’t have the emotional capacity to deal with this shit.
The energy shield came into view. Inside, the others waited. It was rather humiliating stepping into the clearing and having all eyes on me.
“Private Katlan, I must ask that you do not repeat this offense, otherwise we must inform Corporate. I will stay the report this time,considering the,” Elado glanced at Maddy, who had wandered toward her team. “Shocking revelation of late, however, we are short on time and resources. As you know, Corporate is finicky, and we cannot waste days like this.”
“Won’t happen again,” I said.
Elado bowed his head and called for the survey team to return to their work. Maddy never looked back. Roys went inside, leaving me to be bombarded by everyone. I was poked and grabbed and questioned, all of them bordering on the same, why I went out there and left my commlink.
“I didn’t want to be around any of this,” I replied, slapping away their hands. They were being too affectionate. I would shrivel up and die at any moment. “I needed to clear my head, and you lot would never allow that. You’re too nosy.”
“I prefer the term concerned,” Arana replied with her arm linked in mine. “And this concerned party must know if the reason you needed to clear your head has to do with a certain survey team member.”
All those eyes on me were sharp, accusatory, waiting for the crack that Arana found to burst. Any moment it would. The seams leaked; it was what had me running to begin with, trying to stall the inevitable drowning.
“You stormed out of the lab when the survey team arrived, then that one assistant came running out to find you first. You know her, don’t you?” she pushed, and they watched, all of them, too much attention, too much I could say but I wouldn’t.
Because nothing ever worked out. Everyone left, in one way or the other. It was better to keep a safe distance.
“Yes, actually. I never told you this in order to keep you all safe, but… I’m secretly a prince from a lost galaxy, and she is the daughter of the assassin that had been sent to kill me. He failed naturally, drawn to my sexual magnetism, and after the throes of our rather violent ecstasy, I put a laser blade in his heart. She must be here to seek revenge.” I took Arana’s hand and held it to my heart. “You’ll protect me, won’t you?”
She let go and walked away. “We should have left him out there to die.”
A series of agreements followed, but I wasn’t alone. Lilea lingered, her yellow eyes wide and thoughtful. She approached, a silent question about her. She saw me at my lowest while the others had their guesses, but Lilea understood it was deeper than that and…
The admission came out as a strained whisper. “She’s my sister.”
Lilea settled her hand on my arm. “I imagine the relationship is complicated.”
“To say the least.”
Lilea squeezed. Erkawn’s had small smiles. Their beaks curved slightly up their cheeks, making the wrinkles around her eyes deepen. “Complicated or not, she is undoubtedly happy to see you.”
“She’s not—”
“She was distraught to hear you were missing. No matter what happened, and no matter what either of you may say, there is a deep love that hasn’t broken.”
I cracked my neck to the side. The mere idea of Maddy caring for me didn’t sit right because it was no longer true. “You don’t know her. She hates me, and I can’t change that.”
“You aren’t wrong.”
My muscles tensed. Lilea dropped her hand to mine, where the rough skin warmed my palm.
“We can’t change others, and they cannot change themselves. Change requires healing, and healing is a process that no one can do alone.”
“Where is all this wisdom coming from?” I half-heartedly teased.
“I can’t take all the credit. My mother said something similar once.” Lilea nuzzled her beak against my cheek. “Love is never stationary, my friend, in any form, and it shall flourish how and when it wishes. Right now, I believe you need only wait and listen.”
Lilea squeezed my hand before wandering off. As kind as her assurance was, I couldn’t bring myself to believe it. What love could bloom without trust?
023
