I found a shaded area behind the habitat, kicked off my boots and socks, and then fell into the grass. I rolled onto my stomach, taking a deep breath. Fresh air. Nature. Soil and rain.
At the Colony, the upper ring loved using artificial scents, trying to bring a planet to the asteroid, but it wasn’t the same. You couldn’t feel the earth under your fingernails, the grass on your lips or the sun as it chased away the shade.
She would have loved it here.
I buried my face in the dirt. My lungs burned for air. My commlink beeped. I ignored it, setting my head aside to take a breath that did nothing to ease my thoughts. The memories came because of that stupid nightmare. The first year after I escaped the Colony, I replayed those moments in my mind, searching for a change.
What if I did this, what if we had done that, what if we changed our entire lives so that never happened?
But it didn’t matter because every scenario ended the same, or worse, and so I told myself not to think about it. Don’t remember. StashHeraway in a bottle and lock that bottle away. Unfortunately, that never worked. The bottle was always cracked, and pieces ofHerpoured out.
The commlink beeped. Another. Another. I silenced all comms, didn’t feel like being bothered. Felt like moping there for the rest of the day, basking in the suns.
“Why is your commlink off?”
I shouldn’t have been surprised that Roys came to find me, and yet, I pushed myself onto my elbows to make sure it was him. He stood, blocking the light with all those rippling pectorals of his.
I yawned. “Was that you messaging?”
The time on the commlink proved I had dozed off and slept better lying here than I had in bed. It was barely two hours’ worth of napping, and still he was on my ass. And not in the fun way.
“Some of it,” he answered, donning his signature scowl. He looked so much better flushed and panting on top of me. “You missed patrol duty.”
“Is that so?” I picked apart grass to knot together like string.
“Arana found you out here smothering yourself in the grass.”
“Has a nice smell. Give it a try.”
“So you can keep my head there until I go blue in the face? No thanks.”
I threw the knotted grass at him. “Admit it, that was a nice try.”
He gave an annoyed but playful hum. “I partnered her with someone else, but the next one came out, and you were sleeping. When they tried to wake you, you smacked them.”
“Mm, can’t say I recall that. Pretty sure they’re lying.”
Although Arana warned the others before that I was mean when anyone tried waking me. Claimed I kicked her out of the bed once when she tried cuddling. Although I may have been awake, and just wanted to avoid cuddling. Wasn’t my thing.
“You’ll be patrolling with me now.”
Laughing, I sat up, legs crossed and hands on my ankles. “Now I know you’re bullshitting. You’re using this as an excuse to spend more time with me.” I pressed a hand to my heart while batting my eyelashes. “Oh no, Cap, have you fallen for me?”
“You’ve discovered my greatest secret.”
I played along and stuck a finger in my mouth, pretending to puke. “That is disgusting.”
“You’re the one who asked a foolish question.”
“Is it that foolish?” I cast my eyes from side to side. No one was back here. No one could see us.
“I think you want some more alone time with me.” I grabbed him by the holsters, tugging him forward so I had to crane my neck to look at him. “I’d be more than happy to oblige.”
He shuddered when I kissed his crotch and let my breath seep into his trousers. His hand fell in my hair, giving a harsh tug, but as I looked up at him, a blush crept beneath his eyes. He didn’t blush often, and that had me wanting more. So I kept a firm hold on the holsters to continue my work, never breaking eye contact. Roys lips parted and he glanced around, looking, unsure of what to do until he finally pursed his lips.
“Stop messing around,” he ordered, sounding more breathy than stern.
“I don’t think you really want me to.” I snuck my fingers beneath his shirt to trace spirals beneath the lip of his stomach.
