I gave Roys a suspicious look. His awkward smile proved they weren’t joking. I couldn’t imagine who could be in there, and I wasn’t about to find out because a pirate emerged from the cargo bay with a blaster pointed at Maddy’s back.
I shoved her hard. Maddy collapsed. So did I after the sound of blaster fire. The world twisted. I stared up at the cockpit ceiling feeling… nothing at all. There was scrambling. Shouting. Blaster fire. Cursing and footsteps and red, so much red dripping from the console.
Whose blood…?
A shadow passed, then there was Roys. The fear in his eyes made little sense. He wasn’t within the pirate’s range. I saved Maddy this time. We were fine. Everything was perfectly alright.
“I’m sorry. We have to keep pressure on it and, fuck, tell me someone else knows how to fly this damn shuttle.” Roys had his hands on me. I tried sitting up. My body wouldn’t listen. I didn’t feel it at all.
Oh.
The blood was mine. More soaked the cloth Roys had pressed against my ruined abdomen. That wasn't good. It didn't hurt. Also not good. Maddy stood in the threshold wearing Roys’ same fear, and shock that painted her pale as a ghost. Lilea shoved past her to take the pilot seat, tears streaming down her face as she went on about Iylene showing her the basics.
Damn, they shotme. I’m dying.
I expected the realization to scare me, that I would beg or cry or curse the bastard who did this to me, but death was surprisingly peaceful. No pain. No worries. Everyone was okay. Maddy wasn’t alone this time. She and Roys were beside me, having squeezed themselves into the cockpit. Maddy sat in the copilot seat holding my hand, tears streaming down her face. Her mouth moved, but I heard nothing. My eyes were heavy. I was so tired, but I had something to say. Roys needed to hear it because I wasn’t alright. Nothing was perfect and I might not get to say it otherwise. I didn't want to risk that again.
“Stay with me, Ethin.” Roys became nothing more than a silhouette surrounded by blinding light.
“I love you,” I whispered, and the world went dark.
042
Deathdidn’tfeelmuchdifferent from living, and wasn’t that a bitch?
Dying still hurt, especially my eyes when they opened onto a blinding light. A familiar light, like the habitat. Either I wasn’t dead or death was a continuation of life because I was fairly certain I was attached to a series of equipment in the med bay.
My abdomen ached, similar to having done far too many crunches and then getting the shit kicked out of me. First, my toes wiggled, then my fingers, some of that because a warmth encased my right hand, waking the limbs from a stupor.
Roys slept at an absurdly uncomfortable angle. He sat in a chair with his torso angled over the bed, a hand clinging to mine while his arm draped over my thighs. His eyes were swollen regardless of his bruising being gone.
“You’re awake.” Maddy swept around the privacy sheet encasing the bed. She had an exoskin on and a blaster in her hand. She didn’t miss my noticing them. “The pirates are locked up. Mance found the jammer. Hesays it will be about an hour before he can get our emergency beacon working. Until then, the habitat is on standby.” She smiled at Roys. “Most of us are, anyway.”
My throat was too dry to speak. Maddy grabbed a pitcher on the bedside table to pour a glass.
“Don’t sit up.” She tipped the water into my mouth. Never had water tasted so good. “We put you in the cradle three times over the last two days. You… it was bad. We weren’t sure…” Frowning, she sat the glass aside. Tears lined her eyes. “Only idiots get shot."
My voice came out cracked. “Gee, thanks."
I wasn’t the type to get shot. I ran. I hid. I cowered. Cowards lived longer, and if this didn’t prove that, then I wasn’t sure what would. But I didn’t regret what I did. If it had been Maddy instead, the guilt she told me to let go of would never have left. I’d be more broken than I had been, and somehow, after getting shot, I felt more whole than ever.
Maddy settled on the side of the bed. Roys grumbled in his sleep. I squeezed his hand, and he settled. Dark bags surrounded his eyes and I wondered how long he had been awake, if he had been at my bedside the entire time worrying.
Was it fucked up that the thought of him worrying so much made me happy?
“The one who,” she licked her lips, “He was the one who placed the jammer. He was on his way back when we attacked. That’s how I missed him.”
“Wemissed him.”
“Thank you for…” She took my other hand and held it over her heart before leaning in to kiss my knuckles. Tears followed the curves of her cheeks. “Never do that again.”
“Let’s stay out of situations where we can get shot, and I won’t.”
She released a weak laugh that I tried to mirror, but my aching abdomen wouldn’t allow it. Roys shifted in his sleep.
“He hasn’t slept since. I haven’t either.” Her attention fell to my abdomen, hidden beneath the covers. Bandages hugged my torso, and an itching pain throbbed, no doubt dulled by the drugs that kept my mind loopy and body slow.
Roys hummed and rubbed at his eyes.
