Hannah screwed her eyes shut. ‘About…everything,’ she said, miserably. ‘About why this is my fault. Why our friendship became impossible. Why you’re getting so much crap thrown at you online.’ Her eyes snapped open. ‘It’s like everybody’s out to destroy your business.’
‘It certainly feels like that,’ Sophie agreed. ‘But that’s not what matters at the moment. Tell me, Han – whatisit that I don’t know?’
‘That…’ Hannah’s hard swallow was visible. ‘That Luc wasn’t driving that night.Tomwas.’
Sophie blinked. Then she shook her head. ‘No…’
Hannah ignored her emphatic denial. ‘Luc let him drive because he thought Tom was totally sober. He hadn’t touched a drink. He’d told everyone that he didn’t want a hangover on what was going to be the best day of his life.’
It sounded exactly like something Tom would have said and it gave her a lump in her throat but Sophie shook her head again. ‘I don’t understand. So why did Luc say he was driving, then, when hehadbeen drinking? He must have known he might go to prison for it.’
‘Because Tom begged him not to tell anyone that he was the one driving. He’d taken drugs. He’d gone to the loo and there was someone in there who gave him something. Luc had noticed his pinpoint pupils and asked if it was heroin and Tom said it was.’
Sophie was staring at Hannah. ‘Nobody said anything about drugs at the hospital.’
‘Nobody knew. They didn’t test him because he was already dead before he got to the hospital. And, as far as they knew, he was the passenger. There’s no reason to test someone that wasn’t driving, is there?’
‘But… he didn’t do drugs. He hadn’t touched them since he was a teenager.’
Hannah shrugged. ‘That’s what we all believed. But almost the last thing he said to Luc before he died was that it was a one-off – for old times’ sake.’ She brushed fresh tears from her eyes. ‘What I do know is that he knew it was a stupid thing to do because he really didn’t want Dad to find out about it.’
Sophie hadn’t heard any of that last sentence.
‘Almost?’ she breathed. ‘Whatwasthe last thing he said?’
‘Something like “Promise you won’t tell Dad. Or Sophie.EspeciallySophie.”’
‘But he toldyou? Andyoudidn’t tell me?’ This felt like betrayal. From both LucandHannah. It was heartbreaking but… there was a deep hurt to be found there, too. And anger. ‘Why would youdothat?’
‘I’m sorry…’ Hannah dragged in a new breath. ‘The world was falling apart around us. I’d just left you to have some time alone with Tom. My parents were on their way. And there was Luc, telling me something so horrific, so unbelievable that I accused him of lying to try and get himself out of trouble. He said he’d made a promise to Tom and nobody else could ever know the truth. And part of me wanted that because it felt like loyalty, or love, and there was nothing else I could give Tom.’
‘So why did he tellyou?’
‘I’ve asked myself that question a thousand times. I think he needed someone to know the truth and it couldn’t be Dad. Or you. Maybe he wanted me not to hate him but it only made things worse. It’s haunted me ever since that I was the first person to lay the blame but I wanted to protect my family. And you. We all needed something or someoneto blame, to make sense of the incomprehensible. So I told Luc he was lying. That I hated him. That I never wanted to see him again. And he never said anything to anyone else. He stood there and took the blame and the hate. He let everyone think it was his fault. He let us all push him away.’ Hannah’s small sob was a hiccup of sound. ‘He didn’t even get to go to the funeral and say goodbye to his best friend. We were all distraught but we had each other. I told myself I was protecting my parents. And you, but I’ll never forgive myself for being that cruel to Luc. He was part of the family too.’
‘What made you decide he hadn’t been lying?’
‘It was a slow accumulation of things. After you’d gone, I used to visit Tom’s grave. A lot. And I’d remember things but one thing I could never remember was Luc ever lying. About anything. And I googled stuff. Like pinpoint pupils. I thought, why hadn’t the paramedics or someone else noticed that? But he was dead by the time they arrived and I found out that pupils don’t stay pinpoint after you’re dead. I only started second-guessing what I’d wanted to believe because… deep down, I just knew. I knew I’d made a terrible mistake but I convinced myself it was better to let sleeping dogs lie. I had no idea where Luc was and my father was so depressed I couldn’t make things worse for him. You were gone and starting a new life and I didn’t want to drag you down again so I just tried to put it behind me and get on with my life. Can you ever forgive me?’
‘Of course I can.’ Sophie leaned over to hug Hannah but she was thinking of something else – replaying a snippet of the raw conversation she’d had with Luc so recently.
‘Why did you do it, Luc? Why did you drive that night, when you knew you’d had too much to drink?’
‘…the answer to that question is stupidly simple. Tom asked me to…’
Even then she’d taken it to mean that Tom had asked him to drive, but it could just as easily have meant that Tom had asked him tosayhe was driving. And that would be more in character with the man she loved as much as life itself. The man who would give his own life to protect the peopleheloved. To let nothing stop him doing the last, caring thing he’d ever be able to do for Tom Baxter.
Her anger was fading as fast as it had appeared, washed away by the wave of love she could feel for Luc. And the sorrow. The level of loyalty he lived with meant that he might have carried the burden of that promise for the rest of his life if he’d thought it still had the power to hurt her.
She had to make an effort to tune in to Hannah’s quiet words that were folding themselves around her as they hugged each other.
‘So I’m going to make it public. I have to tell my parents and then I’m going to tell the world what I know – or at least everybody who’s been reading that vile blog and all the comments. It might be too late and I’m truly sorry but I have to, at least, try to fix this mess. And…’ Hannah was crying again. ‘I don’t want to live with this secret any longer. I don’t want to live without the best friend I ever had in my life. And Luc. We loved each other enough to know perfectly well that we shouldn’t be getting married. He was my other brother. I turned my back on him and I need to tell him how sorry I am, if I ever get the chance, but I very much doubt he will ever want to see me again.’
‘He will,’ Sophie told her. ‘It might change everything to know that you believe him now. I’m absolutely sure he will want to see you.’
And she, most definitely and very urgently, wanted to seehim.
She sat back in her chair and pulled in a deep breath. ‘Why don’t we do something about that?’
