Donating the embryos for fertility research appealed even less to Nina. Hilary had shown her disgust at the idea by likening the process to a Frankenstein experiment and Nina was not without sympathy because if she were entirely honest, she too felt slightly squeamish at the thought.
Which left her with only one solution, the only one that would bring an end to the dilemma once and for all. She wished she and Hugh had discussed this part of the process in more detail when they’d embarked on the process of IVF, but the question of death had been very far from their thinking at that stage. Then it had been all about life, not death. What to do with unwanted embryos had been briefly touched on at the clinic, but it had seemed so hypothetical, one of those way off in the distance things they wouldn’t have to deal with.
Last week she had given formal instructions to the clinic to dispose of the embryos. She had hoped to feel a sense of relief, but it had yet to come. If it ever would. But it was done, and it was time to let go of the enormous weight of the decision that had hung so heavily over her. There was no going back now, it was time for her to concentrate on her future.
This was something that she had implored Cassie to do ever since she and Ben had returned from their time away with the wonderful news that they were going to marry.
‘You must stop focusing on what’s going on now with Rosalyn and Finlay,’ Nina had said. ‘Look to the future when your life gets back to normal, and you and Ben marry. Rosalyn and Finlay won’t be with you forever.’
‘But it feels like we’ll never be rid of them,’ Cassie had said miserably. ‘I wish I had an office to go to,’ she’d then said. ‘Atleast then I’d be able to escape Rosalyn and the cloud of doom she carries around with her. Which is cruel of me, I know, but I can’t help it. And then there’s Emily, she’s still intent on blaming me for her not knowing her father better when he was alive. As though I could have done anything more!’
Nina had suddenly seen a way to help Cassie, and herself too. ‘Why not come and use the gallery as an office?’ she had suggested, ‘there’s a room upstairs which you could use and maybe you could help me out now and then.’
‘But I thought Keith was helping you?’ Cassie had said.
‘No, that’s all stopped now that he’s moved in with Diane in Ely. He has better things to do with his time these days.’
‘He didn’t hang about, did he?’ commented Cassie.
That was putting it mildly in Nina’s view, but as much as she’d wanted to caution Keith not to be too hasty, she really didn’t think it was her place.
The next morning Cassie joined Nina at the gallery with a smile on her face and a spring in her step. No sooner had she organised her workspace with her laptop upstairs, than she was down in the gallery with Nina, answering the phone, making drinks, running errands, and chatting with customers.
‘You are managing to do your website stuff, aren’t you?’ Nina enquired some days later, feeling bad that maybe Cassie was prioritising the novelty of helping in the gallery over her own work.
‘Oh, don’t worry about that, I’m going through a quietish spell. It’s fine. Being here with you has been the perfect distraction. Just what I needed.’
Now, and after Nina had dealt with the backlog of emails, she steadily worked through everything else on her To Do list.
She soon had everything done, all except for speaking to the artist whose work she wanted to exhibit in the run-up toChristmas. The exhibition was going to be entitled Echoes of the Fens, and she was sure it would prove popular. She was about to ring the artist when her mobile rang; it was Keith.
‘How’s my favourite daughter-in-law?’ he asked.
‘I’m very well, thank you. And how is my favourite father-in-law?’
The greeting was a new way of addressing each other and had started when he’d moved out of her guest room and in with Diane. The exchange had a falseness to it, as though they were both playing a part.
‘I’m extremely well,’ Keith replied, ‘but I was wondering how you got on last week with the clinic and how you’re feeling about it now.’
Nina had told him what she’d planned to do and was surprised he’d thought to ring her about it. ‘I’m fine,’ she said, which sounded carelessly dismissive of her, but what else could she say?
‘That’s good,’ he said, ‘and for what it’s worth, you’ve made the right decision and—’
‘Please, Keith,’ she said, stopping him short as a tightness suddenly filled her throat, ‘don’t say any more, I want to put it behind me now. Besides, I’m at work and therefore … ’ Her voice trailed off as the tightness increased.
‘Of course,’ Keith said, ‘I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have blundered in like that. You were on my mind, that’s all.’
‘That’s okay,’ she managed to say, just as the door opened and a couple came in, their umbrellas dripping on the wooden flooring. ‘I’ll speak to you another time.’
She ended the call, shocked that she had reacted in the way she had, that from nowhere her emotions had bubbled up and threatened to spill over.
Her head lowered and pretending to focus on the screen of her laptop so she could compose herself, she listened to the couple grumbling that everything on the walls was stupidly over-priced. Feeling more herself, Nina asked if they were looking for anything in particular. She knew full well they weren’t interested in buying anything she had for sale. They’d probably only come in to shelter from the rain.
‘Not at these prices,’ the woman answered rudely.
Nina smiled politely and said no more. They left, leaving the door wide open. Nina got up to go and close it and saw that the rain was coming down even harder now. Looking out of the window, she saw that the cobbled street, slick with rain, was deserted and she doubted there would be any more customers that afternoon.
She was back behind her desk when Cassie reappeared.
