‘Cassie,’ asked Ben, ‘is everything all right?’
‘Why wouldn’t it be?’ she answered, barely able to speak she was so short of breath. She had just mercilessly thrashed Ben three sets to love, and the blood was pounding in her ears, and her heart was thumping violently in her chest from the physical exertion of pushing herself so hard. Every point she’d been so determined to win had been a point scored to shore up her confidence to do what she knew she had to do next.
Eight long days had passed since she’d overheardthatphone call between Ben and whoever he’d been talking to. Having successfully convinced herself that he was doing nothing more underhand than planning something for her birthday, there had then followed other overheard snatches of phone conversation, as well as times when he’d quickly shut his laptop when she walked in on him. She should have come straight out and asked him what he was up to, but instead she had bounced from telling herself that she was completely wrong, of course Ben wouldn’t cheat on her, to letting her thoughts spiral wildly out of control.
They hadn’t had sex since that night either. Normally they were equally balanced when it came to which one of them instigated sex, but while part of her wanted to seek comfort and reassurance in the act and the hope that it meant something, she couldn’t bring herself to let it happen. Always respectful of whenit was a no-go time, Ben hadn’t pushed it when she’d claimed she was either too tired or just not in the mood. She’d used the heatwave as an excuse too, claiming the stifling hot weather had sapped her energy.
This Saturday morning though, Cassie had woken with new resolve. She couldn’t let the not-knowing go on any longer. It wasn’t fair to Ben. Or herself. And so, with the air cooler and fresher than it had been, Cassie had chosen the one place to talk to Ben where she always felt she had the upper hand – the tennis court.
‘Because I can’t help feeling I’ve done something wrong,’ he said in the absence of a reply from her to his question. ‘If I have,’ he went on hurriedly, as if needing to get something off his chest, ‘will you just say? I’ve felt for a while now that you’re upset with me. I know Drew’s accident has been a shock and you’re probably still coming to terms with it, but I’m worried that maybe it’s made you realise that you still have strong feelings for him. Is that what’s going on here?’
She stared at him, aghast. Whatever outcome she had expected from this conversation she’d wanted to have with Ben, this hadn’t featured. ‘You’re joking,’ she murmured.
‘Do I look like it?’ he shot back. ‘If I’m right, tell me. I need to know, Cassie.’
‘But it’s you,’ she said, ‘you’re the one who’s been acting strangely. All those secret phone calls I wasn’t supposed to hear and … and I wanted to believe it was something to do with my birthday, but then …’ She lost her nerve, unable to say the words.
His expression was now one of bewilderment. Then he slapped a hand to his forehead and groaned. ‘You’re not going to tell me that you thought I was having an affair, are you? For God’s sake, not that again!’
‘Yes and no,’ she said hesitantly, ‘but the more the phone calls I partially overheard, the more I feared the worst. You know whatI’m like, that I … ’ Once more her words failed her and she could see that he was fighting to hold back his angry disappointment in her, that once again she had failed to trust him. Then with slow and very deliberate movements, he took the tube of tennis balls she was holding and tossed it on the bench beside them. He then stretched out his arms to her, placed his hands firmly on her shoulders and looked at her hard. ‘I’m not having an affair, Cassie; I’ve been arranging a couple of surprises for you for your birthday.’
‘But—’
‘Enough with the buts, Cassie! I swear on everything I hold dear, and that includes you, that I’m not having an affair. I know Drew hurt you badly, but as I’ve told you before, I’m not like him and I never will be. I don’t know what more I can say or do to make you believe that.’
He sounded so profoundly hurt, and as she took in the painfully earnest expression on his face, and remembering Venetia telling her that she mustn’t let the past get in the way of the future, it was suddenly frighteningly clear to Cassie that she had to find the strength to trust Ben, or she would end up destroying his love for her, and hers for him. Filled with regret and compassion, she said, ‘I’m sorry, Ben. I’m sorry I doubted you.’
Removing his hands from her shoulders, he shook his head. ‘Not as sorry as I am.’
In the awful silence that followed, she said, ‘But I don’t understand how you could have thought that I still had feelings for Drew? That’s just crazy.’
He shrugged. ‘I guess it was the timing; it was the only thing that made sense of the change in you.’
‘Why didn’t you say something?’
He cocked an eyebrow. ‘Says the woman who thought I was having an affair and didn’t say anything until now.’
‘Fair point,’ she said.
‘And for the record, I haven’t lied to you at any stage. I’ve kept a secret, that’s all. But if you want me to spoil the surprises I’ve planned for you, to convince you that I’m telling you the truth, then I will.’
‘No,’ she said, ‘please don’t.’
He briefly closed his eyes and when he opened them, he stepped closer to her and held her tightly. Wrapped in his embrace, she felt instantly soothed by the warmth and smell of him, a familiar combination of sweat mixed with his Tom Ford aftershave.
‘Cassie,’ he said, ‘promise me you’ll never doubt me again. And,’ he added, tilting her head back so he could look down into her eyes, ‘that you’ll never slaughter me on the tennis court like that again. Have you any idea how humiliating it is to lose so comprehensively? You wouldn’t let me win a single point.’
‘I was fuelled up with a week’s worth of conflicting emotions,’ she said with a small smile, sensing that he had said all he was going to say on the matter.
‘No kidding,’ he murmured, bending to kiss her. ‘But you know, if you have any spare energy still to burn, I can think of a way to put it to good use.’
‘Are you sure you have any fuel left in the tank?’
‘I reckon I can find some.’ He then whispered in her ear, and she laughed at the outrageousness of his suggestion. But something about the way he’d said it and was looking at her made her realise he wasn’t joking, and she was instantly aroused.
‘I’m game if you are,’ she said.
That was how they ended up in the woods with Cassie pressed against a tree and Ben climaxing inside her at the same time as a voice ringing out. ‘Well, really!’
