However, none of that was important right now. Her priority was to stop thinking about herself and her shock at seeing her father-in-law with another woman, and instead help her friend. After all, it was always easier to deal with someone else’s problem than one’s own.
‘Was there a good turnout for the drinks party?’ she asked, while pouring herself a glass of wine and sitting on a stool at the island unit which was identical to the one in her own kitchen.
‘Pretty good. The biggest surprise was Ronnie showing up. He was laying it on a bit thick with Venetia. The man’s an incorrigible flirt.’
‘How did Venetia react?’
‘With amusement. I think she rather enjoyed it.’
‘Good for her.’
‘That’s what Ben said. He reckons they’d make a good match. God love him, he’s such a romantic.’
‘I thought Ronnie’s taste ran to much younger women?’
‘Maybe it’s time for him to find a more appropriate girlfriend, not some bit of arm candy. Right, here we are, supper, such as it is.’
Nina looked at her plate and smiled. ‘This is absolutely divine,’ she said appreciatively. ‘Aren’t you drinking any wine?’ she asked, noticing Cassie’s glass tumbler contained what looked like water.
‘I had two glasses earlier,’ Cassie said, ‘which was more than I should have had with everything that’s going on inside my head, but you know what it’s like, we put on a show when we need to.’
‘Indeed,’ said Nina. ‘So is this the moment when you tell me what’s wrong?’
‘It’s my ex-husband,’ Cassie said without equivocation. ‘Emily called me earlier in the week to say he’d been involved in a car accident and … and he might not survive. She called again this afternoon, and the news isn’t any better. It’s worse in fact. There’s talk of switching off the life support machine he’s on.’
Choosing her words with the greatest of care, Nina said, ‘And you’re surprised how upset you are, is that it?’
‘Yes and no. Not for Drew, but I’m desperately upset for Emily. I might not have been happy about it, but she’d just started to get to know her father, and now she’s going to lose him. I can’tbegin to think what the effect on her will be. Selfishly, I want her home. I want her here so I can keep her from being hurt.’
‘That’s understandable.’
‘But why do I feel such indifference for Drew? Shouldn’t I at least feel some sadness for him that his life is hanging by a thread?’
‘From what you’ve told me about your ex, I don’t think you should beat yourself up with guilt. Nobody would expect you to make such a dramatic turnaround with your emotions.’
‘I feel as if makes me look like a horrible person that I can’t summon at least one tear for him. Just saying that aloud makes me sound sickeningly self-centred, that I’m thinking more about myself than him.’
‘Maybe your feelings will change.’
‘You mean if he dies, and I’m confronted with the stark reality of it?’
Nina nodded.
‘That’s the odd thing, I can’t imagine him dead. It’s like he’s been the eternal bogeyman in my life since forever. He’s cast this long shadow over everything. I know that’s pathetic of me, because I doubt he gave me a single thought, but I’ve allowed him to live rent free in my head all this time.’
‘Even though you love Ben and you’re so happy with him?’
Now it was Cassie’s turn to nod. ‘I’ve always joked that no one can hold a grudge like I can, I’ve turned it into an art form.’
‘What if now is the time to let that grudge go? Why live the rest of your life with that shadow hanging over you?’
‘Because I’m scared what might be left. What if that’s all that I am, just a pitiful woman driven by bitterness and the inability to forgive?’
‘Come off it, Cassie, that’s not you. There’s nothing remotely pitiful about you. If you want an example of bitterness, try this for size.’
And suddenly, without meaning to, Nina told Cassie about her latest encounter with her mother-in-law, followed up by what she’d witnessed this evening.
‘My God!’ exclaimed Cassie when Nina had finished. ‘As though you haven’t been through enough, but then Hilary acts as though she owns your body and can insist what you do with it. That’s the maddest thing I ever heard.’
