‘That’s for you to decide.’
Chapter Forty-Four
Once they were in the car and on their way back to London, it was like waiting for a storm to break, and just as the sky turned ominously dark with rain clouds, Willow knew it was going to come; it was just a matter of when.
Many times as a child when she had done something that had annoyed her father, she had been in just this situation – waiting for the inevitable. Like the time she had accidentally scratched Dad’s new car when her bike fell against it in the garage. Or the time she had been sick in his boat. On another occasion, Martha had wanted to take the blame for something Willow had done, knowing that Dad wouldn’t be so cross with her. Martha so rarely did anything wrong, there was no way their father would be furious with her.
On that particular occasion Dad had been in a bad mood for several days and Willow had been messing about doing handstands in the dining room, while Martha timed her to see how long she could hold the position. But then disaster struck when one of Willow’s legs knocked against the sideboard, sending a cut-glass decanter flying. It had been no ordinary decanter; it was old, and Dad treasured it because it had belonged to his father. Knowing that Dad would hit the roof with Willow,Martha had offered to say that she had broken the decanter. But Willow couldn’t let her sister do that: whatever punishment was due, it was hers.
From quite a young age she had trained herself not to be scared of Dad, not even when he was absolutely livid. While he raged and blustered, she could think of something completely different and disappear deep inside herself, even when he whacked the backs of her legs. If he did punish her with a smack, he always apologised afterwards and made her promise she would never tell Mum. He would often then be extra nice to her to make up for being so angry.
So yes, she knew all about storms blowing in and then blowing themselves out. That’s how it would be with Rick during the journey home. While the syrupy tension between them thickened, she just had to wait patiently for the storm to break and let the thunder and lightning do its worst. Then the sun would burst through the clouds, the tension would be gone, and they’d both say sorry and carry on as though nothing had happened. These things never lasted. That was the nature of a storm; it was over as suddenly as it started.
And really, just as she had herself to blame for smashing Dad’s special decanter all those years ago, it was her fault today she was sitting here waiting for Rick to take her to task. But how could she tell him that there was something about being in Lucas’s company that made her feel like her old self again, the Willow who could drift along on the tide, taking each day as it came?
Irresponsible, that’s what she was. Always had been. Always would be. In all truthfulness, and with her hand on her heart, she could say that she and Lucas had done nothing wrong, all they’d done was walk, talk and sit in the sand dunes. But it was why she had done that that would be playing on Rick’s mind and causing him to be jealous.
Envy wasn’t an emotion she ever suffered from and was, she’d once read, a trait of the insecure. It was probably a simplistic generalisation, but the more she got to know Rick, the more she could see that he really wasn’t as secure and confident as he let on, so maybe that was why he was prone to jealousy. She supposed that’s why she felt sorry for him at times and why she now felt guilty about upsetting him by what she’d done. As her father would have said, ‘If only you thought things through, Willow!’
With her father’s admonishment ringing in her ears, and wondering if she should broach the subject herself with Rick, just to get it over and done with, he let out a groan of exasperation at the driver in front of them. Despite him flashing his lights at the driver to move over, the car stayed resolutely –stubbornly– where it was and at the same speed. To make his point, Rick drove even closer to the rear bumper of the car.
‘Any nearer and we’ll be able to make small talk with the driver in front,’ Willow said, in an echo of what Mum used to say to Dad.
Rick shot her a look. ‘I know what I’m doing,’ he said tersely. ‘And I assume you did too when you went sneaking off behind my back to go to the beach with some bloke you hardly know.’
At last!she thought with a sense of relief, just as the first fat drops of rain began to splatter against the windscreen. ‘I didn’tsneakoff,’ she said, although that was precisely what she had done. ‘You were sound asleep, and I didn’t want to disturb you when Lucas invited me to join him for a walk.’
‘Didn’t you think I’d be worried sick about you when I woke up and found your side of the bed empty?Anything could have happened to you.’
‘Hardly.’
The driver in front still hadn’t moved out of Rick’s way and so he flashed his lights again and hit the horn. ‘And why did Lucas have your mobile number in the first place?’ he demanded.
‘We swapped contact details after his last visit,’ she lied. No way could she admit to Rick that she’d hunted Lucas down on Facebook. That would give him entirely the wrong idea. He’d never believe that she was simply curious to know more about the man who was going to be her stepbrother.
‘Oh, and about time too!’ Rick muttered as the car in front pulled over and allowed him to put his foot down and roar past.
Twisting her head to her left, Willow looked at the other driver as they sped by and tried to convey a smile of polite apology. The other driver was a young girl and gave Willow the finger. So much for trying to make amends, she thought.
‘You’re such an innocent,’ Rick said, ‘you never see people for what they really are.’
‘What makes you say that?’ she asked, watching the windscreen wipers swish to and fro, smearing dead insects across the glass.
‘You can’t see what Lucas is up to, can you? He clearly fancies you. I saw the way he kept looking at you last night; it was bloody obvious he wanted you all to himself.’
‘Oh, that’s nonsense!’
‘Is it? Is it really? Because I think you might feel the same way about him. And what the hell were you talking about down on the beach this morning? Be honest, did he come on to you? Did you encourage him?’
‘No!You’ve got it all wrong, Rick. He just wanted someone to talk to about his grandmother. I think he feels guilty that he didn’t see more of her towards the end of her life.’
Rick grunted. ‘Why didn’t he talk to Ellis or your mother about his grandmother if he wanted to ease his conscience? Or even Martha? Whyyou?’
Willow let out a short laugh. ‘Would you choose Martha to talk to if you were upset about something?’ When he didn’t respond, she said, ‘Sometimes it’s easier to talk to a stranger, or a relative stranger about something quite personal. And anyway, I’m known for being a good listener.’ She thought of all those elderly donors who poured out their troubles to her when she was at work trying to extract an increase in donations from them.
He scoffed. ‘You never listen to me.’
‘I do.’
