‘Martha? What is it?’ He crossed the kitchen and turned her round to face him.
‘It’s Willow,’ she said, ‘she’s pregnant. Rick just told me.’
‘Rick told you?’
Stumbling over her words, she relayed the conversation she’d had with Rick. ‘He didn’t mean to tell me. He said that Willow didn’t want me to know, that it would upset me too much. And she’s right, Tom. I feel miserable. I know I should be happy for her, but I’m not. I’m torn apart with jealousy. It should be me who’s pregnant, not her! And that makes me the worst of the worst, a selfish bitch who can’t be happy for her own sister. I hate myself!’
Taking the glass from her shaking hands, he took her in his arms. ‘Don’t speak that way about yourself. It’s only natural that you’re jealous. I could be wrong, but I’m guessing this wasn’t planned on their part.’
‘Willow’s never planned anything in her life,’ said Martha with a defiant sniff.
Tom released his hold on her and tipped Martha’s head back so he could look at her. ‘Well, that’s true,’ he said with a smile. ‘Maybe that’s been our problem; we’ve planned too much. Maybe we need to be more like Willow, just go with the flow.’
‘You know that’s never going to happen, don’t you?’
His smile widened. ‘It was worth a try.’
‘I love you so much, Tom. Please don’t ever doubt that when I’m being such a bitch.’
‘I love the whole of you,’ he said. ‘Which means I accept at times you’re not at your best. Just as I hope you love me, faults and all.’
She sank into his arms again and resting her head against his chest, she absorbed the slow and steady rhythmic beat of his heart. It had the soothing effect of slowing her own, which until then had been beating as though she were running fast.
His chin resting on the top of her head, he said, ‘Did Rick sound happy about the baby?’
‘Yes,’ she said, recalling the sound of his laughter and how it had grated on her nerves. ‘He claimed they were both in shock, but he didn’t give me the impression that he was. It was almost as if he were bragging. But to be fair, my opinion might be clouded by envy,’ she added. She kept to herself that her opinion of Rick was also affected by the way he had spoken to her, as though she were a naughty child who needed to be reprimanded and put in her place. Just who the hell did he think he was?
‘They’ve been together for so little time,’ Tom said. ‘It will test their relationship beyond anything they can imagine. I know this is going to sound unkind of me, but do you think Willow might have done it deliberately?’
Martha tilted her head back. ‘Done what deliberately?’
‘Got herself pregnant to—’
‘To trap Rick?’ she finished for him when he hesitated.
‘Yes. You and your mother have joked before about him being a keeper, that he was the first boyfriend Willow had had who was reliable and financially secure. What if she thought the same and decided a baby would be her ticket to a better life?’
Martha was shocked by Tom’s suggesting something so cynical, it was so unlike him. She rushed to defend her sister. ‘Willow doesn’t have a devious bone in her body.I can’t believe you’d even think such a thing.’
‘I’m sorry,’ he said, ‘but the whole set-up just seems so improbable. The funny thing is,’ he went on, ‘that last time we were driving back from Anchor House, there was something about Willow that was different. I noticed several times her putting a hand to her stomach while she was talking. At the time I just thought she was feeling a bit unwell, but now it makes sense what she was really doing.’
Martha knew precisely what he meant. She too had seen friends who were pregnant do the very same thing – a hand unconsciously placed to protect their unborn child. She had even done it herself when she had hoped that she was pregnant.
Thinking back to that day at Anchor House, Martha couldn’t remember there being anything particularly different about her sister, apart from her apparent change of mind when they were driving home about the possibility of their mother moving nearer to them. Willow had couched her U-turn in the context that if Mum and Ellis married, it would be better for them not to live in Dad’s shadow at Anchor House.
But now Martha regarded her sister’s change of stance with new understanding – Willow knew that she was pregnant and was cueing their mother up to help with future childcare. Just as Martha had been planning on doing. Maybe she had underestimated her sister. Maybe Willow was capable of planning something after all, and of being utterly devious.
Chapter Twenty-Four
Geraldine only stayed for one night, but as she herself frequently joked, a little of her went an awfully long way. Her departure yesterday afternoon had left Naomi feeling irritably unsettled. Even more out of sorts than before her friend’s visit.
It wasn’t that she was cross with Geraldine, it was herself with whom she was annoyed. For not being honest with her friend. If Geraldine had suspected she was lying when Naomi had said that of course Colin had never hit her – what a preposterous idea! – she’d had the grace not to push it. Instead she had turned her attention to interrogating her about Ellis. Which had been much safer ground, Naomi thought now, as she earthed up the potatoes that were pushing their way through the soil.
With her old gardening hat jammed onto her head, the noon sun in the crystalline sky was hot on her back and shoulders. It was almost the end of May and the day was one of those late spring days that shimmered with heat and the promise of summer. Occasionally a welcome breeze blew in off the sea, bringing with it a salty sharpness. Her arms were bare and really she should have changed out of this sleeveless top and put on one with long sleeves, but she’d been in too much of a hurry to get out here as soon as she’d eaten her breakfast,following another sleepless night.
Sleep had been bad enough before her friend’s visit, but last night she had tossed and turned for hours on end. She should never have allowed Geraldine to rake up the past to the extent that she had. Had she put her foot down, she wouldn’t now be feeling as though her life had been nothing but a sham. A sham of lies and pretence. And humiliation. She had lived with so many half-truths for so long – the myths of her own creation – she had come to believe them.
Not that she was the only one to have lived with the lies. Geraldine and Brian had evidently done so too. In all the years they’d been friends, Naomi had not once suspected what they truly thought of Colin. How many other friends had not held Colin in the high regard she had always thought they had? Had the condolences she’d received on his death been genuine, or merely yet more falsehoods prettily wrapped up in clichéd commiserations?
