‘Of course he does,’ she’d said, ‘but there’s no one to blame but me for my cowardice in not leaving Colin. And because I stayed, I ensured that Willow’s view of what constitutes a healthy relationship was skewed.’
‘It wasn’t cowardice,’ he’d said gently. ‘It took courage for you to stay, to put your children first. If anyone was a coward, it was Colin for refusing to seek help, for being too afraid to face his demons.’
‘But look where my decision to stay got Willow,’ she’d replied. ‘I gave her the example that if you were treated badly, you just took it on the chin. Quite literally.’
‘Willow may have subconsciously thought that was true,’Ellis had countered, ‘but she came here today because she knew what Rick had done to her wasn’t right.’
‘But she ended up in a potentially lethal relationship because of me.’
‘No,’ Ellis disagreed. ‘The bastard who raped her did that. He destroyed her self-esteem and that’s the real reason she valued herself so poorly and allowed Rick to manipulate her. And maybe, to a lesser extent, it happened with other boyfriends in the past.’
‘Please don’t say that,’ Naomi had said. ‘I can’t bear the thought of her thinking she deserved so little in life.’
But wasn’t that what Naomi had done? Ellis thought now while staring into the darkness.
The more he thought of what had happened to Willow, the more he could feel his body fill with some primordial urge for revenge on the poor girl’s behalf, to track down the man who had raped her and after he’d dealt with him, he’d then deal with Rick.
The idea of them all being taken in by Rick’s act of civilised behaviour sickened Ellis. Although he hadn’t been taken in entirely; aspects of Rick’s behaviour had set tiny alarm bells ringing, but really no more than that. Not until Martha opened up to him in the car earlier that day. At the time, some of what she’d said had seemed highly improbable, like her suggestion that Rick might have deliberately killed that cat, but now Ellis could well believe it. A sadist in full sight, he thought with a shudder of disgust.
Knowing that sleep would continue to elude him in his present frame of mind, and doing his best not to disturb Naomi, he quietly eased himself out of bed. Just as quietly, he crept downstairs, taking his mobile with him on the off-chance he might be able to chat with Lucas.He suddenly needed to know that Lucas was all right. He’d move heaven and earth if he thought his stepson needed his help but didn’t feel able to ask for it. Sometimes it was too easy to accept a person was the way they were and never question it. Just as everyone had with Willow.
Potentially Lucas had a ton of issues that could affect his mental wellbeing – the death of his father when he was a child, his mother remarrying, and then, much later, his mother’s death – but just because he appeared to be okay with it all, that didn’t mean he was. Remembering the day of Rose’s funeral, when Lucas had spoken to Willow so candidly about his mother’s funeral, and in a way that Ellis had never before heard him speak, he promised himself that he should explore those feelings further with his stepson.
Amazingly, Lucas answered his phone after only two rings and explained he was in his car on the way to the airport for a flight to New York, where he was due to give a talk at a symposium of digital media types. It was hard for Ellis to imagine Lucas doing such a thing, as he’d always hated to be the centre of attention, preferring, in his own words, to ‘lurk’ unobtrusively in the background.
‘Are you nervous?’ Ellis asked him.
‘Not really. I know my stuff, and the company wouldn’t send me unless I did. I’m fully prepped, so it’s just a matter of conveying my knowledge as clearly and as succinctly as I would if I were in the office.’
With a feeling of pride, Ellis said, ‘Good for you.’
‘So what’s with the middle-of-the-night call, it must be about two in the morning there?’
Ellis told him what Rick had done to Willow, and of Naomi’s abusive relationship with Colin and how she had admitted for the first time today to her daughters what had gone on in secret,but that Willow, as a young child, had witnessed some of what had taken place. Keeping his promise to Naomi, not a word did he say about Willow being raped as a student. When he’d finished, the line was so deathly quiet, he wondered if he’d lost the connection. ‘Are you still there, Lucas?’ he asked.
‘Yes. I was just figuring out how best to respond.’
‘I know the feeling.’
‘This’ll sound like I’m being wise after the event, but I didn’t take to Willow’s fiancé. He struck me as a bit weird with the way he was always touching her, it gave me an uncomfortable feeling.’
‘I know what you mean.’
‘And I certainly didn’t think he was her type. What’s going to happen next?’
‘I keep wondering that myself,’ said Ellis.
‘What’s the answer then? Because she mustn’t go back to Rick. Willow must see that it would be the same situation as you’ve just told me about Naomi putting up with her abusive husband for all those years. I still can’t believe she stayed with a man like that. Why the hell do women do it?’
‘That’s a whole other debate and not something we, as men, generally can easily understand. Not unless we’ve been in a similar situation.’
‘On a practical note, I hope somebody has had the sense to put together some photographic evidence of what Rick has done to Willow. She might need to produce it to prove he’s been violent towards her.’
‘Martha already thought of that and, much against her wishes, Willow did in the end allow her sister to take some pictures.’
In the background, all those miles away, Ellis could hear the sound of a siren. When it had passed, Lucas said, ‘Look, Dad, I’m almost at the airport, so I’ll have to end the call, but I have one more question. Do you think I had anything to do with what Rick did to Willow? I’d never forgive myself if that was true.’
‘There’s enough self-blame going on right now,’ Ellis said firmly, ‘so please don’t start reproaching yourself.’
