‘Hasn’t the ability to process regret got something to do with the human psyche needing a moral compass?’ suggested Jenna. ‘Otherwise we’d all be selfishly running amok doing whatever we pleased, and probably at other people’s expense?’
‘Good point,’ said Callum.
‘Yes,’ agreed Blake. ‘Psychopaths lack the ability to experience regret, don’t they?’
Next to him, his mother laughed. ‘That’s quite an extreme take on it,’ she said, ‘but I fully support the notion that regret is all too often a wasted emotion.’ Her bangles sliding down from her wrists as she planted her elbows on the table, she rested her chin on her hands. ‘My rule in life, and which I’ve tried to pass on to my son here, is to resist settling for second best, or opting for the safe option. Why do that? Why not chase the dream? It’s why I’m here in Linston, because I’d always had a fancy to live in a mill on the Broads after coming here for a holiday when I was ten years old.’
‘Good for you, Laura,’ responded Alastair, ‘we absolutely owe it to ourselves to make the most of every day we have and every opportunity that comes our way.’ His gaze then moved from Laura back to Valentina, where it lingered on her with sickeningly soppy adoration, his hand reaching out for hers.
Never had Sorrel seen him look at Orla in that way. Not once.
Chapter Thirty-Seven
It was almost two in the morning when they set off inSwallowtail.
It had been Nikolai’s idea and put forward after the ‘grown ups’ – as he referred to Alastair and Valentina, and their parents – had gone to bed, and after he had helped himself to two bottles of champagne from the fridge, one of which was now empty and lay abandoned on the grass. With heaven only knows how much alcohol inside her, Rachel’s response to Nikolai’s suggestion had been to giggle and twirl around on the lawn in the moonlight, her shoes kicked off, her arms stretched wide either side of her. Irina and Nikolai had looked on laughing, which had made Rachel twirl even faster until she’d spun out of control and fallen over with a yelp.
Jenna had felt like an awkward social misfit at the sight of her friend’s antics, and had desperately wanted to slip away quietly and go to bed. But nothing on earth would have allowed her to leave Rachel at the mercy of Nikolai and Irina, not when she had the distinct impression they were laughingatRachel, not with her.
Now, and with Jenna at the helm ofSwallowtail– she had insisted she be in charge of the boat – and their night lights switched on, she steered them along the narrow dyke and turned left onto the smooth moonlit surface of the river, the engine’s speed low so as not to make too much noise. She wished Callum hadn’t gone home when he had, but with an early start in the morning he had left at the same time as Laura and Blake had returned to the Mill.
Going up river, and passing the Mill on their right, the solid structure loomed eerily tall in the moonlight, its white cap and sails giving off an unearthly glow against the darkness. Jenna thought she caught a glimpse of a figure at a window, and she was just trying to work out if it was Laura or Blake, when Nikolai appeared at her side. After taking a swig, he thrust the bottle of champagne towards her. ‘A drink for our captain?’
She shook her head. The last thing any of them needed was more alcohol. And there she went again, a proper killjoy!
Not surprisingly there were no other boats on the move apart from them, which was a relief; it meant there was no danger of a collision in the dark. Further on, they passed the Wherry Man pub on their left, where all was quiet. Unlike Rachel and Irina, who were laughing over something they clearly found hilariously funny, their drunken high-pitched laughter ricocheting off the silent banks either side of them. ‘Why don’t you enjoy yourself with the other two and let me take over here?’ Nikolai said.
‘Have you ever been in charge of a boat before?’ she replied.
He shrugged. ‘No. But how difficult can it be?’
‘My advice would be for you to have a go in daylight tomorrow,’ she said.
He leaned in close, so close she could smell the sourness of his warm breath. ‘Are you always this dull?’
The sheer rudeness of his question incensed her, but she refused to let him see he had the ability to rattle her. ‘Only when I’m around people who have had too much to drink,’ she said coolly.
He gave her a long hard stare and let out a mirthless laugh. ‘So you’re the responsible adult of the group, are you?’ He narrowed his eyes. ‘Which makes you an interesting proposition.’
‘No it doesn’t,’ she said firmly, wanting to give him a shove to make him back off, ‘it makes me just as boring as you think I am.’
‘Who knows, maybe you are, and maybe you’re not.’
‘Hey, what are you two gossiping about up there?’ demanded Irina.
‘Jenna is teaching me how to drive the boat,’ Nikolai said smoothly. ‘But I’m much more interested in hearing about theway Alastair’s wife died. From what Valentina says it was near here, wasn’t it, that she drowned?’
‘Oooh, how ghoulish of you,’ trilled Rachel.
Not to say rude and insensitive, thought Jenna.
‘So which one of you is going to tell me where she drowned?’
Jenna had no intention of satisfying his morbid curiosity, but Rachel, grabbing the champagne bottle out of Nikolai’s hand and drinking from it, was only too glad to provide the necessary details. ‘It happened in Linston Broad,’ she said, swaying on her feet and peering exaggeratedly into the darkness. ‘We must be getting near the opening for it.’
‘Why don’t we go and look?’ said Nikolai.
‘What on earth for?’ asked Jenna.
