She took the box of matches from his hands and hugged him. ‘I love you, Dad, you do know that don’t you?’
‘Don’t,’ he said, but not meaning it, ‘you’ll set me off blubbing again, and I’ve done quite enough of that today.’
‘You’re allowed to cry, you know. No matter what Mum and Alastair did, he was still your best friend.’
He held her roughly to his chest, suddenly remembering how he’d felt the night she’d nearly drowned, and how it had brought home to him just how dear she was to him. ‘Where is your mother?’ he asked, when he let her go.
‘She and Frankie are upstairs making a start on bagging up Alastair’s things.’
‘And the others?’
‘Danny and Callum are putting the last of the glasses into the dishwasher, and Sylvia and Neil have gone home.’
‘What about Jenna?’
‘Ah, she’s gone over to the Mill to see Blake.’
‘Don’t they see enough of each other at work?’
‘He stopped working at Heart-to-Heart a few weeks ago and is with an ad agency now. He did it to give Jenna space.’
‘Why? What does she need space for?’
Rachel wobbled her head about, just as she had as a child. ‘Oh, the silly girl made a ridiculous vow not to date a co-worker, so he’s removed that particular obstacle.’
‘He’s a determined fellow, then.’
‘He is. And Jenna’s too cautious for her own good. As I never stop telling her. Some risks are worth taking.’
The fire having really got going now, and feeling too hot, Simon stood up and moved away to stand at the window. ‘Caution isn’t a bad thing, Rachel,’ he said. ‘Look where risk-taking took Alastair, with his rushing headlong into a relationship with … with that dreadful woman. And need I remind you—’
‘Need you remind me that I risked my life by nearly drowning because I wanted to impress Nikolai?’ she cut in. ‘Risk, risk, risk, blah, blah, blah, I do it all the time. But, Dad, endless procrastination is bad for you. It means you never do anything.’ She came and joined him at the window. ‘Have you and Mum talked yet? And I mean talked properly?’
He shook his head. ‘Not yet.’
‘Don’t you think you should?’
‘We both need time.’
‘That’s an excuse, Dad. You’re scared to talk to Mum, aren’t you?’
‘With good reason. I might not like what she says.’
‘Have you thought that maybe she’s scared as well? But unless you stop hiding from each other, you’ll never know what the other is thinking.’
He thought of Sorrel’s hand reaching for his in the church that afternoon. Had that been a sign that she was willing for them to stay together after all? Or had it been pity for him? Either way, he was grateful to his daughter for trying to reassure him. ‘When did you get to be so wise?’ he asked.
‘I’m not. But I know when something is glaringly obvious. Promise me, Dad, talk to Mum. Do it for me. And for Callum. We can’t bear the thought of the two of you separating. I know it’s not easy, but please try to forgive her for what she did.’
He could deny Rachel nothing, and he’d give anything to grant the wish she so desperately wanted, but in this he feared he would fail her. ‘It’s not as simple as saying I forgive her, sweetheart,’ he murmured, ‘it’s what your mother wants. And if she doesn’t want to stay married, there’s not a lot I can do about it.’
‘Perhaps you should try asking me what it is I do want?’
It was Sorrel herself, standing in the doorway, a bulging black bin bag in each hand.
Before Simon could speak, Rachel had moved across the room so that she was equidistant from them. ‘You know I love you both,’ she said, ‘and because of that I want the pair of you to be happy. Let’s face it, you’d be completely miserable without the other. Dad, think how you’d miss Mum, and all her nagging you to pick up your smelly old socks from the bedroom floor, and her funny way of always straightening things and keeping you on your toes. And, Mum, think how you’d miss Dad’s dreadful jokes, and having somebody to tut at. And yes, I’m quite aware these don’t sound like the most romantic or exciting of reasons to stay with somebody, but it’s who you both are, who you’ve always been. Surely that means something, doesn’t it?’
She looked from one to the other, her expression heartbreakingly earnest as she implored them to do as she asked. It forced Simon to be brave, to stop procrastinating, just as Rachel had accused him of doing. He loved Sorrel, he really did. He didn’t want to lose her. It was time to let her know that. Time too, to remember the very last words Alastair uttered to Simon before he set off on that fateful drive home to Linston End.‘Don’t let me be the reason that you and Sorrel part. I’m not worth it.’
