He sighed very deeply. ‘Because I care about you.’
‘Oh.’ She sighed deeply too and tried to get even closer to him.
‘I thought I’d lost you,’ he said.
‘Lost me?’
‘I thought you were going to drown.’
He moved so he could lean over her and kissed her.
She kissed him back, matching his passion, putting her hand on his cheek and then pulling him down. She wanted to climb inside his body, become part of him, she wanted him so much.
Soon they were struggling out of their wet clothes until at last they were skin on skin.
At one time he tried to pull away but she wouldn’t let him. She felt as if this was her last moment of happiness on earth and she couldn’t relinquish it.
Chapter Seventeen
Afterwards they lay panting on the canvas in a musty heap of blankets. Lizzie had an overwhelming desire to cry, and tears did start to leak out of the corner of her eyes as she lay there. She couldn’t let Hugo see her. She didn’t want him to know it was her first time. He’d be worried and upset – angry, possibly.
‘Are you all right?’ he asked, still short of breath.
‘Mm. A bit cold. I think I’m still in a state of shock.’ She didn’t know if it was from nearly drowning or from making love. She had never dreamed she would do that before she was married, or at least engaged. She wasn’t completely naïve, she knew it did happen, but not to girls with her background and upbringing. Thank goodness her parents would never find out.
‘We need to get you back to the house, so you can have a hot bath and get warm. When did you last eat?’
‘I don’t want to go back to the house yet, Hugo. I can’t face all the fuss people would make. But if you went back you could send Alexandra or Meg with some clothes for me? And shoes? Would they be able to find this place?’
‘I think so.’ He paused, looking at her. She kept very still so the light wouldn’t catch her tears. ‘Why don’t you want to go to the house?’
‘I’m too tired to walk, especially barefoot. I’d rather just rest here for a bit.’
‘Presumably you left the house in the first place because you didn’t want to be there, but circumstances alter cases, as they say.’ She saw him smile.
‘I just want some dry clothes and a bit of a rest. How are you going to explain being so wet?’
‘That’s my problem.’ He stayed looking at her for an agonisingly long time. ‘We will have to talk about this, Lizzie.’
‘But not now.’
‘Fair enough. Not now.’
He got to his feet and she watched him in the lamplight, fighting his way into his wet trousers. ‘I’ll get some clothes to you, Lizzie. And then we will talk.’
When she was alone she allowed herself to shed the tears she’d been keeping in so firmly. Then she sniffed hard and wiped her nose on her hand.
She realised she was getting stiff and cold so she got up, to see if moving around would help.
Two things had happened to her in the past few hours and she felt they were both life-changing. She had nearly drowned –verynearly drowned – and she had made love, for the first time, with a man she really loved but could never have. She didn’t want to regret either of them. It was something she could think about in future years when she was married to someone else – someone she felt she couldn’t possibly love as much. And if it hadn’t been for the first thing the second wouldn’t have happened – and surely that made nearly drowning worth it.
With the blankets wrapped round her, she went over to the large table with the box. She pulled off the cloth covering the item next to the box and found another box. This one was quite different. Much smaller, for trinkets rather than tools, the lid was inlaid with wood of different colours making an intricate pattern. She picked it up and shook it gently. It seemed to be empty and so she opened it. The inside was made just as carefully and the smell of some aromatic wood caught her nostrils. There was fine sawdust in the box. She closed it and put it down. Then she opened the tool chest. Inside were tools similar to the ones Hugo had bought at the Portobello Road Market, seemingly a lifetime ago. This boathouse must be where Hugo used those tools he loved, maybe not recently, but sometime.
A wave of fatigue swept over her and she went back to the nest on the floor. When she’d straightened it up and made it more comfortable, she put on her underwear. It was damp and difficult to get on but she couldn’t be discovered without it. Then she sank back down and let herself sleep.
She was woken by the sound of voices. It was Alexandra and Meg.
‘We thought we’d never find you!’ said Meg.
