She cracked a mint eye partially open, taking a moment before she truly saw me, and then forced them both open fully. “Jac?”
“It’s me, I nodded, trying not to let any moisture reach my eyes.
“What the fuck have you gotten me into?” she croaked hoarsely, making me laugh tearfully.
“I think I’ve got us both into a world of shit,” I admitted with a frown. “But at least it gives us the chance to get you some help.”
“Hmm,” she hummed in a weak rasp, “They’ve already given me something. I can feel it working. It’s easier to talk already.” I let out a sigh of relief at the news, though I couldn’t imagine how much worse she must have been for this to be an improvement. I was more right than I knew about there not being much time for her.
Maybe Carnelian’s deal had a silver lining, after all. If he could get her strength up and keep her going until I did what he wanted, that would be blessing enough compared to what we’d been facing. The fact that he’d heal her once I was done was all I wanted.
Well, that, and a couple of other things. I didn’t exactly wish for death myself, but I did wish it upon High King Azurill quite fiercely.
“That’s good. Did they explain what’s going on?” I asked, apprehensively.
Her eyes narrowed at me, “They mentioned I was being kidnapped by the Lord of Ruby to have my life held over you while you compete to become the damnedDiamond Queenof all things. I thought—they must be either out of their minds or lying through their teeth. Only for the lord himself to greet me upon my arrival and explain a few things.”
I winced hard, and she squeezed my hand that was holding hers to the point of pain.
“Whatthefuckwere you thinking?” she demanded as steam practically came out of her ears. I wilted a bit at her anger, an instinctual response to disapproval from the one woman I hated to disappoint. At least she seemed to be feeling better already.
“I was thinking you were sick,” I admitted, shrugging lightly and avoiding her eyes. “We didn’t have a way to heal you without magic.”
“And now you’ve landed yourself in the most dangerous situation I could imagine for you.” She grumbled angrily, shaking her head as much as she could manage. Her glare was reproachful, but I could only sigh deeply.
“I’m sorry you’re stuck here, truly, but I’m not sorry they’ll heal you,” I told her, and the raised eyebrow I got in response was somehow full of her usual sass. It made the corner of my mouth lift in an almost smile to see it.
“Ifthey heal me. It seems that depends on you winning this competition somehow,” she argued, looking at me critically through narrowing eyes. “You aren’t nearly as worried about that as you should be.”
“This gives me a chance I never would have gotten otherwise,” I said quietly, trying to avoid her knowing gaze.
“All this is worth it?” Ula questioned, her mint green orbs flaring as she stared me down. “All for a chance at the damn high king?”
“Of course it’s worth it!” I snapped, angry that she couldn’t understand this after so many years. “I will finally be able to avenge my family.”
“He wasn’t there,” Ula responded quietly, squeezing my hand lightly this time and forcing me to look at her.
“But we both know he was responsible.” I ground out, just thinking of the man made me want to hit something. It was a good thing I had still been in such shock when faced with Carnelian, or I might have spiraled the moment he brought him up.
Ula said nothing for a moment, just watching me quietly. She carefully lay back against the bed, fluffier than either of us was used to after years of sleeping on the ground or beat-up mattresses we’d found left on the floor of abandoned homes. We moved around a lot, but nowhere we’d ever stayed had beds like this. I hadn’t slept in a proper bed like these ones since the night I’d been torn out of my own and thrown to the wolves.
“Do you truly think vengeance will bring you peace?” she finally asked, and I felt my heart give a painful thud.
“It’s better than nothing,” I responded, forcing down any emotion that tried to rise in my eyes. “I can’t get my family back. I can’t get my home back. I can’t get my life ba?—”
I cut off, swallowing painfully as I squeezed my eyes shut. I refused to cry about this. I’d spent my tears on it long ago.
“But Icanget vengeance for them.” I continued once I’d gathered myself, my voice hard with resolve. “That’s all that’s left now.”
“No,” she said quietly after several minutes of silence had passed between us. “There’s still so much left, Jac. You just need to open your heart to the possibility.”
“You’re the one who taught me that survival was all that mattered.” I scoffed, shaking my head. “That chasing the idea of a life beyond what we had was nothing more than a fantasy.”
“Maybe for people like me, that’s true.” She admitted ruefully, a heavy sigh escaping her lips. “But you’re different. You always have been. And now, you have the opportunity to step back into the life that was stolen from you.”
I shook my head immediately, the wrenching in my gut a physical ache that spread through me. “That life isn’t for me. And there’s no place left for me in it. House Marit is dead. Pearl Court now belongs to House Helmi. I’m not a lady, I’m just another street urchin the nobles would sooner pretend doesn’t exist.”
“Saying the words doesn’t make them true.” She argued back. As I should have known she would. The woman was as stubborn as a mule.
