Calix let go of my hand, grabbing a knife from his belt and throwing it at the creature as it pounced. It fell before us and dissolved into a black puddle. Calix grabbed his knife from the mess, wiping it on his leather pants before putting it back on his belt.
He had just opened his mouth to say something when the puddle began to move. I watched with wide eyes as it began to reform and grabbed Calix’s hand. I pulled him with me as I ran. Wanting to get as far away from that thing as we could before it reformed.
“What in the Otherworld was that?” I hissed as I looked around wildly.
“I have no idea.” He shook his head, his silvery-white hair brushing against his armor. His forehead was creased in concern. Neither of us knew what to expect here, not when the myths about Tartarus were so varied.
We continued on, our hands never straying far from the swords on our belts. The rocky path twisted and turned through a desolate landscape. There was nothing but grey rock as far as the eye could see. But we journeyed on, until we finally came to a dead end. A gigantic rock wall stood before us, what had to be thousands of feet up in the air. I couldn’t even see the top of it with my Fae eyesight as it disappeared into the smoke-colored clouds.
The sound of pained moans reached my pointed ears, and I tilted my head back to try to catch where the faint sound was coming from. As I looked back up the wall, I gasped, my hand flying up to cover my mouth.
What I had thought were crevices within the rock were actuallypeople.They were chained to the wall, row after row, all the way up, with their feet dangling.
“Calix…” I didn’t even know how to finish the thought.
“It’s Tartarus,” he replied grimly, his eyes flashing as he looked at me. I didn’t miss how his hand tightened on the hilt of his sword, the tension in his body clear. “All these people, Fae or human, all those who died within our world, they all end up here or in Elysium. We’re bound to find others elsewhere, too.”
“Great,” I said sarcastically. He huffed a breath that he might have intended to be a laugh, but it never quite made it there. I eyed him speculatively, noting how uncomfortable he really was. “What’s wrong?”
He sighed heavily, eyeing the people hanging above us with sorrowful eyes and stiff shoulders.
“This is what my power does. It pulls the pain of those tortured here and injects it into my enemies,” he replied despondently.
“Calix,” I called his name patiently, grabbing his face and cupping his cheeks. “We’ve been over this.” He shook his head in protest, and a flash of rage went through those purple eyes; only I knew it was directed inward in this case.
“You’ve never actually seen those tortured here before. This is tame for Tartarus, Asteria.” He scoffed. “I know. I’ve felt the echoes of it when sending my power into people. I don’t feel the pain myself, but I can tell what it is.”
Nox, he knew what kind of torture went on here?
“And I torture them with that pain anyway,” he smirked, a mockery of his usual one, more sarcastic than amused. “And now you’ll get to see exactly how fucking deranged I am for doing so.”
I stared at him for a solid beat, and he stared back at me, just waiting for the rejection to come.
“Fuck you,” I replied blandly.
“What?” he asked, confused. His brows furrowed as he looked at me. I stepped away from him, shaking my head.
“I said.Fuck. You.”I stressed as I jabbed a finger into his chest. “If you think so little of me that you believe this is what will send me running?—”
“Well, something is!” he shouted, throwing his hands up in the air.
“Excuse me?” My head reared back, taken completely by surprise by his outburst.
He ground his teeth, shaking his head. “You think I can’t see the way you’ve been pulling away from me? You can’t say how you feel about me, which is fine. I understand if you’re not ready. But combined with how Ifeelyou trying to pull away in the bond…”
“How am I pulling away? The bond is always open!” I argued, putting my hands on my hips as we stared each other down.
“It’s open, yes. But you’re notreallythere. You’re shutting down. Like you don’t want to feel it. It’s only when we have sex that I can feel how you feel about me, and Icanfeel it, which leaves me confused about why you’re pulling away from me!” Calix explained, and my heart sank at the look on his face as he swallowed hard.
“If you don’t want to be with me—” He forced out, the pain on his face too much for me to take.
“I do!” I shouted, making him blink rapidly. But I could feel panic rising at the thought of how incredibly messed up this situation had become. “It’s not you, Calix.”
He rolled his eyes, and I winced at my own lame-sounding excuse.
“I swear. This has nothing to do—” I tried to say, but cut myself off and ran a hand down my face.
How did I explain how twisted up I was about somethingtakinghim from me? That I was burying all my emotions to exert some control over them. I’d tried to shut down my hopeless fear. Desperately attempting to prevent my feelings from brewing chaotically within me when I needed to be balanced more than ever… and in the process, I’d been inadvertently shutting out Calix and confusing the Tartarus out of him.
