“You shine like a star in the darkness, Asteria. When you’re in a room, it’s like my eyes go right to you.” Calix confessed, with an agonized strain to his tone.
“I know the feeling.” I breathed, reaching for him and caressing down his shoulders, his chest, hoping to ease whatever pained him, to show him I wanted this just as intensely.
Calix moaned, leaning into me, the hard outline of his cock grinding against me and sending shockwaves through my body.Someone called his name in the distance, and I watched in awe as he lifted his hand, darkness spilling out and covering us. Each time I saw his shadows was just as remarkable as the last—I wanted to be enveloped in his darkness, wanted us to be lost in our own little world. One where if I was a star, he was the darkness I shined against. I would dance amongst the darkness and claim it for my own.
His lips came down towards mine as I inhaled the scent of night and fire, eager for him to close the distance, our hips rocking together and the ecstasy I knew was just out of reach…
But as his lips touched mine with the lightest, softest touch—he wrenched himself away. He dropped me to my feet as I stared at him, completely bewildered.
“Calix?” I prompted softly, as I touched his shoulder. I didn’t even realize my hand was shaking, too concerned with his own. His whole body was trembling as he looked down at his hands, which were flexing opened and closed, like he was fighting himself.
“I’m sorry.” Calix whispered. “I’m so sorry, my réalta, but I can’t.”
In a blink of an eye, it was like he’d disappeared, he was gone so fast. My hand was left hanging in the air, and I slowly dropped it, mystified and…rejected.
It was a new, strange feeling for me. Women had often rejected me as friends, but this was different. Men usually reacted to me like Cyrus and Soren had, I’d never had a man literally run away from me before. I swallowed hard, trying to hold back my pathetic tears.
Things had been going so well, maybetoowell. I’d been happy and carefree for the first time ever, and now it was all ruined.
“Asteria.” I looked up to find Harpina there, sympathy in every line of her face. Great, now my humiliation was public. I was going to have to disappear forever after this.
“Come with me.” She insisted softly, linking our arms together, and bringing me to a quiet table in the corner. Lilith joined us along the way, but Ilta was laughing and dancing with Baach, while Eryx was spinning Priscilla, and to my surprise, Callisto, around. I hadn’t realized the Resistance leader was here, but she must have shown up at some point. I’d obviously been too consumed in Calix to notice.
Lilith set a drink down on the table for me, and I immediately picked it up and slammed it back as fast as possible. She took my hand, squeezing gently.
“Asteria, Calix—” Harpina grimaced, leaning forward. “This isn’t about you; I promise you that.”
“What do you mean?” I whispered, staring down at my empty glass. The drink wasn’t helping me control my feelings. I knew better—stay away from Fae men, stay away from any sort of feelings beyond friendship. I could already feel stirrings ofsomethingfor him, something that was deep and expansive, and that was a dangerous line to teeter on. Feelings could too easily become love, and that was something I couldn’t afford. No matter that I was free now, I knew how this world worked: love was for the Fae alone, not humans like me.
“I haven’t seen Calix drawn to anyone like this in a very long time, if ever.” Harpina informed me sadly. “He’s struggling to stay away from you, and it’s clear there’s some sort of feelings there. But Calix only has sex now on holidays when the king must participate. And even then, if he could prevent that, he would. He stopped having any kind of relations voluntarily twenty-one years ago.”
“What? Why?” My eyebrows scrunched together in confusion. Calix was sexy beyond all belief, he was a king, he was the most powerful Fae in Celesterra—he was the definition of most eligible bachelor. They told me he used to sleep around, and he’dseemed perfectly willing and able—at least up until he ran. Why would he avoid sex?
“Because twenty-one years ago, Calix got his soul mark.” Lilith informed me softly, like she was trying to soften the blow of her words. Soul mark. He had a soul mark. Which meant…he had a soulmate.
Asoulmate. Oh. Oh, Old Gods, I felt so stupid. Of course.
“He doesn’t want to do anything that’d be disloyal to her, whoever she is.” Lilith continued, eyeing me, waiting for a reaction as I sat there still as stone, my eyes slammed shut. “It’s difficult for him. He doesn’t know who she is, only that she has to be a Fae female somewhere on the continent. There’s been times where he’s been attracted to a woman and struggled against his urges, but he only gets it out of his system on holidays.”
“But the chemistry between you two—it’s hard not to feel it when you’re both in the room.” Harpina said, and I opened my eyes to look back at her. She looked at me like she thought I was moments from falling apart. “I don’t think he’s struggled to refrain like this before. It’s not fair to you either, and he knows that. He doesn’t want to lead you on when his soul is tied to another’s.”
“Of course.” I mumbled. Lilith pushed me her drink, and I sat there nursing it, Harpina and Lilith watching and waiting for a reaction to some kind. But I’d gone numb—of course the gorgeous Fae king had a soulmate out there. That rare and precious thing all Fae wished and hoped for. Who was I to think I could have someone like him? Who was I to get between soulmates?
“I’d like to go home and sleep.” I admitted, and they both nodded, their brows furrowing with concern as they stood to help me back to the palace. To the wonderful room Calix had given me.
“That might be for the best. You have training in the morning with Titan, don’t forget.” Harpina, ever the warrior, reassured me. She seemed excited for me to begin, and I was too, but still—that wasn’t what I wanted to focus on right now. When we arrived back, they helped me change, as my limbs seemed to be beyond my control at the moment. My mind stuck on Calix. On him—and the unknown, beautiful Fae woman that owned his soul.
Chapter 26
Thenext morning, Delia dragged me out of bed, not letting me wallow in my aching body and pounding head. She gave me a cup of steaming liquid, some medicine she promised would help. True to her word, I felt better moments after finishing it. Thoughts of everything from last night still spun in my mind, but I shut them down, refusing to revisit them.
I made my way out to the training field, Delia showing me the way before leaving with a jaunty wave and a smile, wishing me good luck. Titan was already on the field, swinging a blade as he sparred with one of the men. When he spotted me, he called it off and slapped the other man on the shoulder, who nodded and walked off.
“You’re going to be fighting Fae for the most part.” Titan abruptly began, wasting no time. “We’re stronger, faster, and have magic at our disposal. Training you on strength is onlygoing to go so far, it can help you when learning to master wielding weapons, but it will do you no good as a strategy in a fight against a Fae.” He explained as he walked up to me.
My eyebrows scrunched at his words, which just echoed the concerns I’d had since I learned I would be able to train to fight.
“What am I supposed to do then?” I asked, throwing my hands in the air. “How do the humans here fight if the Fae are always going to overpower us?” My head tilted to the side as Titan gave me a sly smile.
