“I’m shocked you managed it. Good job.” Eris grumbled, but I caught a small smile at the corner of her mouth. From Eris, that was as good as the teary, joyful hug from Priscilla.
“Of course she did!” Harpina scoffed. “I can tell from knowing her five minutes that she’s a force to be reckoned with.” I rolled my eyes at the sentiment and looked over to Emmie. She looked to be asleep, but Harpina put a hand on my shoulder.
“We had to sedate her to get her out. She wasn’t willing to leave. Kian made it very clear you wouldn’t leave without her, so we were forced to take measures to ensure she didn’t get us and everyone else caught or killed. She’ll wake soon.”
“Thank you.” I looked back and gave her a small smile. “Truly. I don’t know what you guys want from me, but I’ll never be able to say how thankful I am that you got me and my friends out of that cesspool.” My voice cracked, the emotions I’d been trying to suppress bubbling back up.
“It’s okay to cry, you know,” Harpina said softly, her eyes were sad and knowing, causing my breath to catch in my throat. “What he did to you… It’s a failure on his part. Not on yours.Neveryours. You need to allow yourself to feel all those emotions to move on. You deserve to live a life free from all that held you down before, and the first step will be recognizing the pain and trauma you experienced. Trust me, you’re far from the only one who’s had to do that. All the humans we’ve rescued must eventually face their own demons to move on.”
“All the humans you’ve rescued?” I managed to ask, holding back pathetic tears I had no wish to shed over that piece of shit.
“Later.” Harpina promised, giving me a soft smile. “Calix wants to explain everything to you.” I nodded, barely able to move my head without tears threatening. The image of Cyrus—over me, on top of me, holding me down and nearly cracking my bones with the pressure, the cruel look in his eyes. His words—his smug, awful words about owning me and doing what he wanted. My lips trembled as the fear and pain slipped back out from the careful shield I’d tried to lock them behind.
I fell to the ground, knees hitting the grass. I couldn’t stop the sobs from wracking my entire body as they finally broke free. I hadn’t wanted to cry in front of Calix—or any of the men. But now, alone with just other women around me, I let myself feel all the horrible emotions I’d desperately tried to suppress.
A flash of blonde on one side and red on the other announced Priscilla and Harpina—both reaching out to hold me. I let their arms come around me, trailing through my hair or rubbing my back, as I shook with tears. I looked up when Eris kneeled in front of me. She reached out her hand, the tear tracks down her own face showing her understanding. I reached out to meet her, and our hands clasped together. She wasn’t a hugger, but she squeezed my hand tightly, supporting me in the way she knew how.
I had never had female friends, never really had friends at all—but now I was surrounded by females who were here to help and support me. To comfort me when needed and lift me back up. It felt—precious. I was immensely grateful to find such support in the aftermath of everything that had happened, to realize I had this wonderful thing I’d never had before. And I wanted more of it. Friendship. Comfort. Support. All of it.
I fell asleep surrounded by the females I had come to call my friends. All of us sharing a tent and crying together. We spent the night telling our stories of what had happened to each of us. Whispers in the night of lashings, food being withheld, attempts like what Cyrus had tried—all of the abuse we’d weathered since Placement Day.
We expelled every bit of it through our words to one another, as if letting the words out might also release the pain from our hearts and minds. Our souls may be rattled and dented from the Dusk Kingdom, but together, we may also be able to find some sort of peace in the aftermath.
When I finally fell asleep, exhausted beyond measure and all out of tears—the darkness was there to greet me immediately. Luna didn’t even get a chance to say hello before it appeared. It seemed so much closer, so much more intense. I reached out immediately, but that same damned barrier blocked us from meeting. I looked down at my glowing hands, wondering truly for the first time what in Adamah this was—and why in Tartarus did I keep dreaming it?
Chapter 23
Thetumultuous thoughts of the night stayed with me when I awoke, but I was thankful to have so many distractions. The camp was being broken down and the army was preparing to move out . I decided I would help Priscilla and Eris get Emmie ready to be transported since she still slept, but Eryx appeared and asked me to follow him.
“You can ask, you know.” Eryx chuckled as we weaved through the tents, having caught the glances I couldn’t help shooting him. I blushed at being caught, but quickly cleared my throat and began talking to distract from it.
“Why did you come see me? Why comfort me?” I asked him, needing to know why he’d been there for me on one of the worst days of my life.
He came to a stop in the middle of the path, several people dodging out of his way with looks of annoyance that quicklychanged to admiration once they saw who it was. Eryx turned to face me, his face oddly serious for such a playful, slightly boyish looking face.
“I comforted you because you needed it, Asteria.” Eryx explained gently. “Because everyone deserves, and needs, comfort now and again.”
I tried to swallow the lump growing in my throat, to try and get the words out to thank him, but I couldn’t. His eyebrows furrowed as he looked at me sadly.
“Cyrus is one of the fucking worst out there; no one deserves having to put up with him, or his family for that matter. How in Adamah Kian is related to those people—” Eryx snorted, shaking his head ruefully.
I couldn’t help the tiny laugh that escaped my lips. Eryx looked so immensely pleased at my reaction, a smile spreading over his face, that brought one to my own.
“As for why I was there in the first place,” Eryx continued as he began walking again, I raced to follow behind, “I’m Calix’s spymaster. I control our network of spies, but I occasionally like to get out into the other kingdoms and see what’s going on myself.”
We approached a large black tent, the sigil of the Night Kingdom decorating its side with the crescent moon and stars flanked by dragon wings.
“Your presence in Dusk began causing waves among the more gossip-inclined, and once Calix ran into you, he—” Eryx cut himself off quickly, startling me and wondering what he stopped himself from saying. “I thought it best to keep an eye on the situation myself. I know what Cyrus can be like, and none of us wanted to see you become yet another girl he’s hurt.”
I froze at those words, “Others? He’s—” I swallowed hard, and it was dry and painful. “He’s done—that—before?” I hated how meek my voice was, and the way Eryx’s face dropped was answerenough. Before I could think about that too long and start crying again,and wouldn’t that be embarrassing, I narrowed in on the other part of his sentence.
“Why would you care what happened to me? Why do any of you care?” I threw my hands up in frustration. Sick of not knowing what in the name of the Old Gods was going on.
“Perhaps I can help explain.” The voice coming from the tent entrance sent a shiver down my spine. Not one of fear or terror, but something much more pleasant. The purr to his voice was back, the growling gone for the time being. I wasn’t sure which I preferred. I’d seen so many sides to this man already—from flirty and playful, to seductive and thrilling, to dangerous and deadly, to threatening and serious. I wasn’t sure which, if any, was the true Calix. That thought should scare me more than it did—Fae were unpredictable, and often monstrous. But I just couldn’t summon fear around him for some reason, my instincts insisting that there was no danger, despite all that the Fae represented—despite what had already happened.
It was perplexing. Quite frankly, it was more than perplexing. It was a mystery I wanted solved.
I shifted to face Calix, and my breath caught for a moment. The rising sun caused his silvery white hair to almost glow, his purple eyes intense and bright. His sharp cheekbones were highlighted by the shadows cutting across them thanks to the sun’s movement upwards, and his plush lips smirked slightly as he waved a hand toward the interior of the tent, inviting me to enter.
