If I tried to fight Cyrus on any of this…who knew what he would do? I knew of the violent punishments doled out, even if I hadn’t seen any yet.
My master stared me down now. For all his ease with me thus far, I felt as if I hovered on the edge of a knife the whole time I’d been here. Sensing something dark lurking in those stormy eyes. I had yet to see it brought to the surface.
Chaos simmered beneath his exterior, and I knew without a doubt I did not want to test the razor’s edge he teetered on.
Yet it began to feel more like an inevitability, for my desperate desire to be free was always on the line, and there was little chance of getting to freedom without a few bumps along the road.
“She loves to gossip.” I admitted, forcing the words out. My lips didn’t want to utter them, my jaw clenched hard against what felt like a betrayal. Even if Emmie was the one who told me not to trust anyone. Even if I didn’t have any people in my life I truly considered friends. “If you get her in with the king, I can find out what he tells her.”
“I knew I could count on you, Asteria.” Cyrus’s hard stare lightened as he smiled widely, returning to the charming prince once more as he let go of my chin and caressed the skin he surely just bruised. Strangely, he softened a bit, in a way I hadn’t yet seen from him. “In this world and in this court, it’s impossibleto trust anyone. It means more than you know to have you here helping me.” He leaned into me, and his hand encompassed my cheek. His thumb slowly tracing over the apple of it.
“Why do you resist me so?” He whispered the words, but I was struck by how pained, they sounded. “I can give you so much. And all I want is you.”
That lightning sparked again in his eyes. Blue flashes upon blue irises, making it almost look like his eyes were cracking from within.
I closed my own eyes for a moment, unwillingly tempted to give into the gentle touch, the warmth blooming in his eyes. It felt so genuine, so full of affection, that I felt the trap of needing his embrace, of wanting it to encompass me. I sighed, as I opened my eyes, prepared for the same song and dance we kept volleying back and forth.
“You own me, Cyrus.” I sighed, a sad smile gracing my lips, knowing he would never understand the divide between us. “And there’s no such thing as true choice when the person holds your life in their hands. Not for me.”
Cyrus looked profoundly sad at that, but I had the sudden realization that in truth, his parents did the same thing to him. Oh, he could move freely, and he wasn’t punished like humans were.
But was he truly free?
I couldn’t imagine having a father who worked against me constantly. Nor having the safety and love of my father twisted into something corrupted and violent. To have no love from your father must be agonizing. My heart bled a little for him, that he never experienced the love all children should have from their parents. He may be the free one between the two of us, but I couldn’t help but feel sympathy for what he lacked in his life, nonetheless.
“I need you, Asteria. Your ability to speak to other humans without bringing attention to yourself will be invaluable. In fact—” He looked me over, slowly. I felt flayed open by his gaze, like it could strip away my walls and expose the bruised soul beneath. Maybe that’s why he wanted me so badly. Maybe he recognized that in me, and his own bruised heart reached for that likeness. “You’ve already taken over meeting with my spies and passing along information, which has been immensely helpful. I’ll have to introduce you to some of my business partners soon. Their own spies bring in plenty of information. You can start taking their reports as well.”
“I can do that.” I agreed easily. “And what of the Night Kingdom? Are there any plans in place to deal with them?” My unbidden thoughts found themselves back on the soldier I met, and the questions he left me with. I couldn’t help the desire to find out more about him—about them. The Night Kingdom was a land of mystery and violence, and I yearned to crack them open and unravel those secrets.
“You know, Calix and I were once friends.” Cyrus replied, his face darkening, as he changed the trajectory of the conversation slightly. There was an almost whimsical gleam in his eyes, as he thought back to his friendship with the king of Night.
My mouth parted in a surprised exhale. I wouldn’t have expected there was ever anything but hate between the two royals with the state of their current relations.
“I know, you wouldn’t guess that now.” Cyrus chuckled, not missing a thing. I leaned in, resting my chin on my palm, and the shift gave him the encouragement he needed to continue. “I truly have no idea what happened to him. One day, things were the same as always. During events, we’d get together and drown ourselves in drink and women. And the women did love Calix,” Cyrus shook his head with a slight laugh. “But all of a sudden, he went strangely quiet, and locked down his borders. A few yearslater, he began launching attacks on all the other kingdoms.” He sighed as he picked up his wine and drank deeply.
“We only saw each other a handful of times a year, but when we did, it was always like no time had passed.” Cyrus looked off to the side. “As crown prince, I can’t get truly close to many people. They all want something from me: my position or wealth, my power.” He laughed wryly but something in it was distinctly sad.
“I understand.” I murmured, allowing a soft smile to slip free. Cyrus’s gaze caught mine, looking so deeply into my eyes that I couldn’t even blink while he held me captive. I saw the same impotent rage and sad longing in his eyes that reflected in mine when I looked in the mirror. It made me shudder with a tempest of emotions: terror, uncertainty, and longing. Along with an unwilling understanding—at least where this was concerned. Neither one of us let others close to us and we both felt the cost of disavowing such connections. It was isolating, often leaving us with a bitter resentment for the things we can’t have.
As for King Calix, I couldn’t fathom what could have happened to cause a playboy king to snap and begin attacking different kingdoms and killing their people, slave or no. I shuddered at the thought. Only a mad man could do such a thing.
All of a sudden, Cyrus was in front of me, on his knees, his hand reaching for my face. He brushed his fingers through my hair, pulling me closer to him. My breath parted, lips slightly open with shock and overwhelming emotion. His palm cupped my cheek as his thumb ran along my skin.
“You really do understand, don’t you?” He murmured softly.
Our eyes were still locked, and I felt the tension between us rise ever higher. I breathed heavily, matching his. His other hand came up and cupped my other cheek.
“Cyrus,” I whispered, not even sure what I wanted to say. Was I going to warn him away, or invite him closer? The moment was too charged to be sure which I meant at that exact second.
“Asteria…” Cyrus brushed his thumb across my lips, his eyes slightly glassy as he whispered my name, a sweetness to his tone that I’d never heard from him before.
A crack formed along the walls I used to keep him and everyone else out, like lightning had struck them. The damage left in its wake was unknowable in this moment, as Cyrus pressed his lips to mine.
I took a startled breath that let his tongue sweep into my mouth, and then I was lost to sensation. Our lips gently parted, our tongues entwining as we learned the contours of the other’s mouth. His hands swept across my cheeks as he pressed me into him, holding me in place.
Cyrus transitioned us from a soft, sweet kiss to a more desperate, harsh one. The pressure of his lips became bruising. His teeth nipped at my bottom lip, causing a throb between my legs. It had been too long, and I sighed deeply, letting my lips match the force of his. My tongue swept in and explored his mouth.
Cyrus’s hands trailed from my cheeks up into my hair, grabbing it and holding it in fistfuls, using it to guide my mouth where he wanted it. My own hands found his in return and pulled, causing him to let out a rough grunt as he smiled against my mouth.
