Case in point: Soren was now in Day Kingdom. I would never see my only friend again. Since I kept it to mere friendship, it didn’t hurt nearly as badly as it could have had I let myself become attached.
Still, I had chosen Soren—or he’d chosen me, and I’d agreed. He was attractive, and I was young and curious. It was my decision. My body. My choice of partner. That was what was important to me.
I couldn’t deny that Cyrus was even better looking than Soren, I wasn’t blind. It was the situation that made this ugly. Sex had always been an escape for me. Now, Cyrus was turning it into what felt more like a threat than anything—at minimum, a transaction.
Despite my initial attraction toward Cyrus, I would never allow my body to be a tool I traded away. I might be a slave, but as he said, I wasn’t the kind of person who would roll over and obey my masters every wish. He knew this and hadn’t punished me for it—that alone set me on edge and made me incredibly unsure of trusting his offer.
As I followed Whina into the laundry room, I found Emmie there with another older woman. Gray creeping into reddish brown hair and deep brown eyes that looked me over critically. Emmie lit up when she saw me, making her way towards me.
“Asteria! Isn’t this wonderful?” She smiled widely, looking around bright-eyed. “We’ll be able to see each other all the time!”
“It is!” I couldn’t help returning her smile, fake as it may be. Even if I didn’t truly believe this situation was wonderful, at least she was here. She’d proven to be a good acquaintance on the journey here. And I could frankly use an ally.
As much as I’d tried to resist forming connections, knowing they’d one day be sundered, this was different. Not only was I here for the rest of my life, but I was adrift. I had no idea what to do or how to act. Having Emmie, who was familiar with palace life, would be a gift from the Old Gods. And it’s not like I needed her to be my friend. Helpfulness was better than friendship anyway.
“Where are you staying? I didn’t see you in the slave quarters?” She asked, tilting her head in curiosity. I grimaced, but before I could answer, Whina stepped over and glared at Emmie.
“What do you think you’re doing?” The older woman demanded, chin rising. “You are on the royal family’s time here. You can chat when you’re not working.” Her eyes were glacially cold. She did not mess around when it came to the royal family, apparently.
It amazed me that any human could truly care. We were just pieces of property to the Fae. The royal family especially. Why be loyal tothem? Of all people?
“The girl’s new, Whina, give her a break.” The woman with Emmie rolled her dark eyes as she leaned back against a counter. Emmie managed a small smile back at her in thanks.
“Get your charges in line, Miryam.” Whina huffed, bristling. “You may be able to afford to play around, but Asteria here is to be the Crown Prince’s personal assistant. She must learn everything there is so that when the time comes, she can properly direct others in their specific tasks.”
Miryam’s eyes widened, before shooting over to me. She looked over me once more, before her lips tilted up. “Something tells me the crown prince didn’t choose her for her ability to do chores, Whina.”
She rolled those eyes once more before directing Emmie to grab the basket before her feet. My body stiffened, the accusation landing hard after Cyrus’s proposition. He may have chosen me because he wanted to sleep with me, but that wasn’t all there was to it. Somehow, he’d seen the rage over my lack of control of my life and was drawn to it. He apparently found it entertaining to offer a girl with nothing luxuries beyond her imagination, as long as she sold her soul in the ultimate catch.
“Things are what they are, Miryam. Regardless of motive.” Whina countered, letting loose a deep breath before directing me forward to the other side of the room. She quickly marched off ahead of me. Emmie and I exchanged a helpless glance. I shrugged and she bit her lip to contain a laugh.
“Talk later?”Emmie mouthed, and I nodded in response before quickly following Whina’s footsteps. She began going on about the ins and outs of Cyrus’s garments and the upkeep to keep them clean.
I tried to take in as much information as possible. Whina promised me she was starting me with the lower tasks to learn how everything worked, before moving up to more complex and important tasks.
There was just so much to learn. As she quizzed me on laundry types and I failed to answer her questions correctly, she sighed, looking to the ceiling like it would grant her a better student.
“I’m sorry. I promise I’m trying to understand all this.” I swore to her. Frustration at myself for being unable to remember something so seemingly mindless bubbled up.
She softened fractionally. I was surprised, I didn’t think the woman was capable of it before that moment. “I know. The prince is exacting, however, and I don’t want you to incur any punishments by missing something. It will take time to learn everything. We start here at the bottom, and it will begin to acclimatize you to your new role.”
I nodded, feeling defeated regardless. If I couldn’t even remember laundry correctly, what hope did I have here? How long before Cyrus grew tired of my lack of skill and refusal, and saw fit to do away with me? Either somewhere worse or…in a more permanent way.
Whina brought her eyes down to mine, the woman much taller than my meager height. Sympathy like I’d seen in my mother’s eyes as she comforted me after one of Verin’s verbal attacks was shining in her eyes.
“The prince’s attention has never been so singularly focused. He’s always taken advantage of whatever girls he has serving him. It’s not like they ever turned him down. Many of the younger girls here would do anything to trade places with you. Otherworld, some of the older ones too!” Whina’s eyes widened in emphasis, and my heart sank.
I knew she was telling the truth. Emmie and Eris had told me what people would be willing to give to have a better life. Icould well imagine many of the women here would kill for the opportunity I was turning down, while I couldn’t imagine giving in to any Fae—let alone the one with complete power over me. I couldn’t give him any more power than he already had.
Whina continued, her eyes growing concerned as she took me by the shoulders. “But he’s never chosen one before to explicitly fill that role. I can’t tell you whether his attention is good or bad for you. I am loyal to the royal family, yes, but I can recognize not all positions in life are fair. The position you’re now in? Some would say it’s more than fair, and others unfair—and for many reasons on both sides. It’s up to you to decide what to do with that.”
I blinked, forehead wrinkling in confusion. For many reasons? I knew how it was unfair to me, and I couldmaybesee how other humans may view it as more than fair, possibly even exciting to be offered a different kind of life. I was being offered luxuries I couldn’t dream of before now; it just didn’t sit comfortably.
It felt like I was being asked to trade away who I was for that luxury. My soul, my heart, my brain—everything in me railed against it. At the end of the day, I was only left with my convictions, and how they could guide me through this miserable life. I couldn’t understand those who grow up loving their theoretical chains, even if we’ve never known anything different. After all, how could I be the only one to recognize how unfair and cruel this life was?
Giving in to Prince Cyrus would mean giving up the core values that make me who I am. How is that fair? He’s given luxury for nothing in return, because of what he was born into—an accident of birth—or fate if you believe the Fae and their rhetoric.
The prince never had to face such a decision in his life, I was sure. I was talking myself in circles, but I knew what I had to do—I couldn’t just give up. I wouldn’t let him take whatever littlepieces of me I have that are actually mine. We humans have never been able to decide for ourselves. I barely even know who I really am, my life has been way too limited for that. But whatever pieces of me I do know, I know I can’t give to someone like him. Especially since he wouldn’t even truly appreciate them. He expected them because he was a Fae prince and never heard the wordno. He wouldn’t trulycarefor the pieces that made up everything I am.
