He turned to look at those who’d be on the streets of Biarma, stirring up chaos. “Remember, only kill Fae if you have to. Or if you can tell they’re a Nox-damned corrupted piece of shit—Tartarus, those you can take pleasure in.”
Vicious smiles lit up the warrior’s faces, and I rolled my eyes, but still smirked at them, a bit pleased to see it. I enjoyed training, but a true battle was something I’d never experienced, except from the other side. I vividly recalled my first meetings with Calix. I’d been terrified and aroused—and confused by the combination. Now I’d be facing my first real test since learning how to fight. And Nox knows, I lusted for a chance to set this world on fire—I just hoped I wouldn’t let everyone down. The prophecy loomed large, and I worried that I’d prove it false when I actually got out there.
Calix didn’t seem to worry at all, a bright light in his eyes at the thought of battle—even though he wasn’t going to be out on the streets this time. He was well known for his skill on the battlefield, and having witnessed him slaughtering people, I could say beautiful brutality was indeed a perfect description of it. He moved like a dancer, making an art of watching him as he fought savagely.
We spent several hours going over all the logistics. Tomorrow was the festival, and we’d be leaving for Sunset two days after that. It would take nearly two weeks to reach Biarma whiledodging patrols and lookouts along the borders and using magic when necessary to cloak us. Titan would command the army going into the city, while Calix would oversee the smaller group of us going into the palace.
When we finally broke for the night, I looked to Calix, but he was already leaving, keeping his eyes firmly away from me. I sighed, heading to my room. I found Delia and Priscilla waiting for me, and I eagerly accepted the wine they handed me.
“How was it?” Priscilla asked, since the two of them wouldn’t be going on this mission, they’d decided to skip this meeting to instead help Baach with preparations for tomorrow. I sighed heavily, downing my wine, before tossing my head back on the sofa.
“Calix won’t even look at me, let alone talk to me. Aside from that? Just swell.” My sarcasm made them chuckle and I glared at them, pouting, until Delia bumped my shoulder with hers.
“I know things are difficult with him right now, but there’s always tomorrow.” She wiggled her brows at me. I furrowed my own brows, unsure what she meant.
“Asteria!” Delia laughed incredulously. “The two of you are playing some Tartarus-damned game and you didn’t even remember there’s only a few times a year Calixmusthave sex to appease the gods?”
My eyes widened and I jolted forward. Pris doubled over in laughter at my reaction, but I was too focused on Delia to care. “The holidays.” I whispered. I couldn’t believe I’d forgotten.
“Yes, the holidays.” Delia smiled smugly, nodding. “Calix will have to participate in the orgy tomorrow, though he doesn’t have to take multiple partners. He just needs to take one, to return the energy to the gods and the land. I can only imaginewhohe might be interested in doing so with.” Her heavy sarcasm was not appreciated, and I glared at her as her lips twitched into asmirk. I let out a deep sigh, a sudden nervousness overtaking me.
“What if—” I licked my suddenly dry lips, “What if he chooses someone else?” My voice came out much smaller than I’d intended.
“I don’t think you have anything to worry about there, Asteria.” Priscilla reassured me, putting her arm around me. “But you should be focused on what you’ll do after.”
“What do you mean?” I shook my head, confused.
“Can you handle it?” She asked softly, sympathy in her eyes. “Having him once, then never again? Knowing you will never have him truly? His soulmate is out there somewhere, and he’s doing a good thing by not starting a relationship with someone else in the meantime. It can only end in heartache for all involved. But it’s clear there’s something going on with you two. I just—I want you to be careful.” I hated the spark of pity in her eyes.
I didn’t need pity. Yes, there was chemistry between Calix and I. Would I have liked to pursue something if he didn’t have a soulmate?Yes, but he did. I knew I couldn’t have him, but if I could just get him out of my system, maybe that would solve everything.
The thought rang hollow in my own head—and even more so in my heart. I couldn’t lie to myself very well, apparently.
Fine. Did it hurt that I wasn’t enough? That he had some great, destined love out there? Of course.
Still, there was a reason I’d never allowed myself to fall in love withanyman. I certainly wouldn’t be doing so with a man fated to love another. Wanting to fuck him, even havingsomefeelings for him, wasn’t the same thing.
Love was nothing more than a shackle people willingly donned, binding you to one person and giving them the power tobreak you. I’d spent enough of my life as a slave to recognize that trap for what it was.
Chapter 34
Ilookedat Delia, completely bemused as she explained to me what I’d be wearing tonight.
“Come again?” I cocked my head, blinking quickly in confusion.
She giggled, the sound echoed by Ilta who was here to help her get me ready. It was apparently a two-person job for the night. Judging by the supplies laid out in front of me, I could well believe it.
“The Festival of Faunus not only celebrates the Fall Equinox, but it’s truly a celebration of Faunus himself, with nods to Flora as well.” Delia explained as she pointed to my vanity chair. I rolled my eyes but did as requested, sitting down for her to start doing my hair. “Faunus is a wild, animalistic god. He oversees beasts after all. Tonight is a celebration of nature at its core.The whole reason we have orgies on our holidays is because the release of so much sexual energy feeds the magic of our land, and thus feeds our gods—it’s all part of the cycle of nature. So, we dress up in honor of it.”
“Still—this is—what is the paint for then?” I was hopelessly lost on this point. The two laughed, and Ilta smiled widely.
“The paint has two purposes.” Ilta began, looking mischievous. “The first is to celebrate all of the colors of nature. And the second, well, this isn’t any old paint, this paint is infused with magic.” I raised a brow at her, looking at Delia, who nodded in confirmation before Ilta continued. “In the light of the stars, this paint will glow—it’s quite the sight during the orgy.”
She winked at me, and I considered the sight of that—everyone naked and glowing. Nox, this was going to be an experience.
“Plus, it’s quite fun.” Delia added, Ilta nodding eagerly along with her. “Just let us take care of everything, you’ll look amazing!”
I sighed but gave up fighting it. Delia placed a pair of large horns, with brightly colored blue and purple flowers at the base of each one, on top of my head, and secured it so my hair covered the band. My hair was left down and wild, while my makeup was bold and dramatic. Purple and blue shimmer dusted my lids, and my eyes were outlined in a dark kohl that swept out toward my temple. The colors brightened my eyes while the kohl made them pop.
