“What about the others? Titan, Harpina, Eryx…” I trailed off as he began shaking his head.
“Only a few of my most trusted know of it.” Calix admitted softly. “Both my sisters do, as they are part of House Erebus, they are also entrusted to guard this knowledge. But outside of them, only Titan, Eryx, and Baach know.” He smiled wryly. “And that’s only because when we were younger, they followed where they shouldn’t.”
That definitely sounded like them. Still, his explanation only made me thirsty for this forbidden knowledge. “What is it? I promise I would never reveal anything you tell me.”
My promise was as soft as it was unfair. I should really let it go, but he looked on the verge of trusting me with such a precious secret and I—I desperately wanted that trust from him.
He bit his lip, andoh—to be that lip.Fuck, I really needed to get laid soon, this was torture.
“I don’t know why I trust you so, but I can’t help the feeling that I do—maybe more than I should—but my instincts have never led me wrong before.” Calix spoke slowly, like the words were torn from him without his consent. A gentle warmth spread through me, like a Sommer’s day, knowing that the trust I gifted him was reciprocated, even if it was despite ourselves.
“Day and Night Kingdoms are different from the other kingdoms in a few ways. Erebus and Earendel, the gods our kingdoms first descended from, are also responsible for the Otherworld. Specifically, Earendel oversees Elysium, and Erebus oversees Tartarus.” I listened with wide eyes, having never heard this before.
“I thought the Otherworld was overseen by Arawn? Isn’t he the god of the dead?” I asked, thoroughly absorbed by the new history I was learning.
“You’re right.” Calix smiled, looking down at the waters of the Otherworld as he explained its origins, before looking back at me with glittering eyes. “Arawn oversees the Otherworld in its entirety. He’s responsible for judging the souls and making sure they’re receiving their deserved afterlife—whether that be in Elysium or Tartarus. But Erebus and Earendel put something of themselves into the creation of those two realms, so they have a tie to them as well. They assist Arawn in some capacity with their respective halves of it, but truly, as they’re the kings of the gods, I think Arawn must do most of the work.” His words were teasing as he looked at me with a conspiratorial smile that I couldn’t help but match.
“The Otherworld has three realms within its borders—Elysium, Tartarus, and the home of the gods themselves. But they had to have ways to cross into this world, and to do that, they needed to create portals to them. Day was tasked with the responsibility of guarding Elysium, while Night—”
“Was tasked with protecting the portal to Tartarus.” I finished, realization dawning on me as my eyes blew wide. I tried to process such a realization, that the Otherworld was accessible—and from here—but how did one even process such a thing?
Calix nodded, his face grim. “Yes. King to king, the responsibility is passed down. We are charged to protect and defend it, to ensure none find it or cross its borders who are not invited.”
Calix watched me, eyes scrutinizing as he continued. “To protect these realms, the kings of Day and Night, were gifted additional powers, ones relating directly to the Otherworld.” He sighed heavily, his shoulder slumping, like the weight of whatever he was about to divulge dragged them down. “I have another ability, more than just the darkness.” He looked away, and I hated the shame that shone on his face.
“Calix, whatever it is, it doesn’t matter to me.” I reassured him quietly, even though I feared putting that thought—that truth—into words.
“It will.” He argued in a stern tone. “I’m not a good man, Asteria. I’ve tried to be better when it comes to humans, but that has only made me a monster in other ways. And none of it erases the terrible things I’ve done, including using that power.”
I tried to interrupt, but he spoke right over me. “I use the ability to make people feel the pain of Tartarus. All I have to do is send that power at them, and they’ll be trapped in that torture until I stop it. A true agony, beyond anything that could be felt in this world. And I’ve delivered that onto people at a whim.”
He swallowed hard, and the desolation on his face made me move. I ignored whatever tingle of fear knowledge of such a power existing arose in me—I knew Calix wouldn’t hurt me. I just focused on him, approaching him and throwing my arms around his shoulders, uncaring that he was naked, and I was nearly so.
“You’re one of the best men I know, Calix.” I assured him as his arms came around me and clutched me to him, burying his face in my neck. I pet his hair, as his body shook.
“I’m one of the worst you’ve met, I promise you.” Calix let out a wry laugh. “You’ve only seen the good—the man I am around my people, my friends and family—you haven’t had a chance to see the other side of me yet.”
“I know the worst man I’ve met, and you’re nothing like him.” I fought back fiercely. He may believe that about himself, but I knew better. “We’re all made up of multitudes, Calix. We all make mistakes, all have regrets. If you used to use that power on your enemies—well,good. They deserved it.” Calix let out a guttural laugh, stiffening like he hadn’t meant to do so. “We all make choices when it comes to life or death. You’ve been actively trying to do better by humans—”
A harsh sound was breathed into my neck that had me gripping his hair tightly.
“Trying to do better—” Calix snorted disdainfully. “And yet I slaughter any who get in my way. Myownpeople. It doesn’t matter that I do so in the name of protecting others, there’s so much blood on my hands, my réalta, it will never wash away.”
I could practically feel the self-loathing thrumming off him. I sighed heavily, and only then realized the magic in the air around me was more noticeable. The land was thrumming with it. And so was Calix. He felt like a sensual wash of power over my skin, one that begged me to play with it, leaving goosebumps inits wake as I shivered. The feeling was too inviting, like it wanted me to grasp hold of it and never let go.
“Maybe not.” I finally allowed, trying to ignore the heady magic around me. “But you’re working for something important, Calix. What you’re doing will save not only the humans here, but the Fae too. The whole world is at stake, not just us. And you’ve saved so many already. You—you savedme.” He pulled back to look at me, our eyes clashing, and I tumbled deep into those jewel-toned eyes.
“Even outside saving me from Cyrus.” I admitted quietly. “My rage was the only thing that kept me going for years, but you’ve given me so much more than you’ll ever know.”
“Like what?” He whispered, as caught up as I was, our bodies drifting closer until my legs wound around his waist and his hands gripped my hips tightly. The scent of night and fire invaded my scenes, making me want to moan at the taste of it.
“You saved me from a lifetime of having my choices taken from me, either by the Fae, or men in general.” I smiled slightly; Calix hooked on my every word. “You’ve given me time to discover who I really am. I was barely a person before—just raw anger, an exposed nerve, and it was only recently I found myself facing an onslaught of feelings I’d never dealt with. I had no idea what to do or who I was under all that, and now I have the time and space to figure that out.”
“You’ve given me a place I could actually call home. A place filled with friends and happiness. You’ve helped me find a focus, a purpose.” I whispered, my hands still gripping his hair, and I knew I should pull back, as our lips came so close to touching…
A snap in the forest around us broke our trance, and we both pulled back as we realized how close we’d allowed ourselves to drift once more. Calix looked away as I unwound myself from him and got out of the water, leaving me torn between watchingthe stars fall and watching his hair fall in front of his face as he looked away.
I had meant every word, and I hoped he knew that. I had lived a half-life for too long. Rage had overtaken me for years.
