But never her.
Chapter 37
Kailia
“Ineed you to attend the Advisory Council meeting today,” Cethin said
Kailia looked up from the book she’d taken from Razik’s study yesterday, glaring at her husband as he adjusted the sleeves of his fine jacket. Actually, why was he wearing that? He’d been in the routine meeting with his advisors the last two days, and he’d never dressed this formally. In the months since she’d been here to see him attend these meetings, he’d never dressed like this. Wore his crown? Yes. Dressed like this? No.
But instead of addressing any of that, she went back to her book as she said dismissively, “I have plans today.”
“You’ll have to change them,” he said simply.
She pursed her lips, and when she tried to sneak a glance at him, she found him watching her with a faint smile on his mouth. It made a slow anger burn in her belly.
They’d been back from Everfall for nearly two weeks, and up until the convening of the Advisory Council, he’d been including her in most of his duties, introducing her to more and more people, and discussing some simple things related to the kingdom over meals. She’d even been allowed to sitin on a planning meeting with the Cadre, despite Commander Greybane’s obvious disapproval, but even the Commander couldn’t argue against it when she was the only one who could supply the arrows that could kill the phantoms.
But the last two days she’d been left to her own devices. Razik was with her, of course, but she’d been left to overthink and overanalyze everything. Had she said something wrong? Inadvertently offended someone? What had she done that had made Cethin suddenly not want her involved in certain aspects of the kingdom? He was confusing, including her so thoroughly one minute and telling her she couldn’t come with him another. The lack of clear direction and sudden shifts in his decisions put her on edge. Every time she thought she had figured out what she needed to be doing, something changed. She liked routine. Not constant upheaval of what she knew.
“I’d suggest changing your attire as well,” he said casually, striding from the bedchamber.
She looked down at herself, still in her nightclothes, because what did it matter if she was being relegated to the side once more? She knew she was being petty and intentionally difficult, but Cethin was letting her have her moments. Almost as if he knew she’d never been allowed to express such emotions before. Always doing what she thought would prove her worth, making sure her value was irreplaceable. Such pettiness would mark her as difficult, and she was already walking a thin line with her trouble interacting with others.
She frowned as she ruminated on all of this. At some point, she’d come to feel…safe with Cethin. At least safe enough to be in a foul mood and not care if he knew it.
Now she faced the conundrum of digging in her heels because of said foul mood in a bid to make a point, or giving in and following his suggestion without a fight because hercuriosity about suddenly being invited to the council meeting was winning out.
With a huff, she set the book aside and threw off the blanket she had wrapped around her shoulders. She bathed quickly, piling her hair atop her head to keep it from getting wet. Uncertain of what this was all about, she followed Cethin’s lead and dressed in something more formal and elegant. Long-sleeved and black with silver embellishments, the dress clung to her chest and torso before draping at her hips. She debated the lightweight cloak, but it was nearly the Summer Solstice. The days were already warm, and she was wearing long sleeves. But more layers provided more places to keep weapons hidden, and that always outweighed any discomfort.
Reaching out, she fingered the fabric of the cloak. It had never been a question she’d entertained, yet here she was, once again wondering when she’d felt comfortable enough to debate such things. Especially here. With him. The king whispered about in hushed voices and dark shadows across the sea. That was who she’d been prepared to face when she’d stepped off that boat all those months ago.
“Razik is here, and you should eat something before the meeting,” Cethin said, pulling her from her thoughts.
She turned to find him in the doorway, hands clasped behind his back, but when she met his gaze, he strode forward into the dressing room. Stopping a foot in front of her, he lifted a hand, and her stomach dipped as she anticipated his touch. Not out of dread, but out of want. Another thing that had flipped in the months that she’d been here.
Which is why she shoved down the disappointment when, instead of touching her, he asked, “May I?” as he reached above her head.
Unsure of what he was asking, she nodded slowly, tensing to retreat, but then she went still as he carefully extracted thepins keeping her hair piled atop her head. With a care she didn’t understand, he let down the strands, gently draping them over her shoulders and down her back.
“You’ll leave it down today? Out of a braid?” he asked, his voice laced with a touch of gravel.
“That was my plan, but is there a specific reason?” she replied, his fingers lingering in the black locks.
“I like it down. Reminds me of the first time I saw you,” he replied, finally pulling his hand back as if it was the last thing he wanted to do.
For some reason, it was the last thing she wanted him to do too. Although she was starting to understand it all a little better, and that thought was unnerving. Because she’d neverwanteda touch until he’d slowly and patiently shown her it could be different. She couldn’t trust him, but somehow, with this, she did. Somehow, despite the forced bargains and marriage and all she knew about him, she trusted his hands and his touch.
“Kailia?” he asked, his brow pinched, and she realized she’d been standing here staring at him.
“Sorry,” she said quickly, shaking out her hands before smoothing them down her dress.
His gaze dipped to the movement, brows pinching a bit before smoothing back out. “I didn’t mean to make you nervous about this meeting.”
“I’m not nervous about that.”
“Then…?” His head tilted, studying her as he waited for a response.
“It’s nothing,” she said dismissively, knowing full well Cethin didn’t believe her, but he didn’t try to stop her as she moved past him and made her way to the dining room.
