“I’m sorry we weren’t able to be of more help today,” Corveth offered with an apologetic smile.
“Nothing to apologize for,” Cethin answered, despite his disappointment that they’d found nothing. “At this point, we can’t leave any stone unturned.”
“Understandable,” the lord replied, leaning back for his plate to be cleared before dessert was served. “What a time to become queen. In the midst of so much turmoil,” he continued, turning his attention back to Kailia.
It hadn’t escaped Cethin that the lord made sure to include her in every conversation. She clearly felt at ease around him, and he was patient with her. Never making her feel uncomfortable with his questions. It likely did help that they were both unexpectedly shoved into their positions.
“How are you adjusting to the castle?” the lord continued. “So different from where you grew up.”
“Very different, yes,” she answered as a dish of some kind of pudding was placed before her. “But there are some similarities.”
“Oh?” Corveth asked. “That provides some comfort, then?”
“Not really,” she said, picking up her spoon.
The lord chuckled, but Cethin frowned. What about her life in Aimonway could be similar to where she grew up?
The thought bothered him the rest of the dinner, and when they retired for the night, he waited until they’d changed into nightclothes before asking her about it.
He stood outside the bathing chamber, and when she emerged, she jolted.
“By Temural, Cethin,” she said irritably, her hand at her thigh where a weapon was usually hidden. “Why are you standing right here?”
“In what ways is Aimonway similar to where you were raised?” he asked instead.
She blinked at him in surprise, carefully stepping around him. “It was merely conversation.”
“Bullshit,” he challenged. “Even in casual conversation you are blunt and specific.”
“You don’t need to point out my flaws,” she said flatly. “I’m well aware of them.”
“That was not my intention, but it is a fact, nevertheless. If you said Aimonway is similar to where you grew up, then you meant it. I want to know how.”
“Why? What purpose does that serve?” she asked, and he knew it was a genuine question. But knowing that frustrated him more. That she was putting this life into the same sphere as her childhood after what he’d learned about how and where she grew up didn’t sit right with him.
“What purpose does it serve? Kailia, you were tortured to the point that you avoid physical contact at all costs. You saying Aimonway is in any way like that is my concern,” he answered tightly.
“But why do you care?” she asked. “You have what you want. What does it matter now?”
He stared at her, unsure how to answer that. “You think I have everything I want?”
She shrugged, turning away from him to pull back the blankets on the bed, but the dismissal made something in him snap.
He was across the room in seconds. She spun, eyes wide, when she found he was already standing over her. Stumbling back, she lost her balance, but he was there, an arm around her waist keeping her from falling onto the bed. He heard her gasp, and he caught her wrist as she went for her thigh, despite no weapon being there. Slowly, she dragged her eyes to his. Her magic swirled frantically. Fury stared back at him, but there was more there too. Something he didn’t quite understand.
“If I had everything I wanted, my people would be safe. We wouldn’t be finding dead Fae every other week. The Wards would be gone, and we’d be free to move about the realm as we once were able to. If I had everything I wanted, my parents wouldn’t be gone. I wouldn’t be chained to a fucking throne because of the blood that runs in my veins. I sure as fuck wouldn’t be risking?—”
He cut himself off, the words sitting on the tip of his tongue. Words that would damn him and reveal far too much. She was staring up at him, listening intently. That unreadable face devoid of any emotion, leaving him once again wondering what she’d thought of his little tirade.
Clearing his throat, he straightened, making sure she was steady before he released her and took a step back. He didn’t apologize, and he wasn’t going to. For the first time since she’d come into his life, he wished she hadn’t. He wished he were free to go find someone to get lost in. Someone who wouldn’t flinch at a touch. Someone who would touch him back, even if it was just a show.
Yet the mere thought of touching someone else had him internally disgusted.
No. Instead of being able to get lost in a good fuck or even have someone in his life whowantedto be with him, he was with someone who would rather stab him than let him prove touch could be something to crave. Instead, he was going to extreme measures to convince her of…what, exactly? He wasn’t sure he even knew anymore.
All he knew was that each day he was becoming more desperate. More obsessed. Needing her to give just a godsdamn inch. She wasn’t going anywhere, and neither was he.
“I wasn’t able to leave the Cliffs,” Kailia said into the silence. “I didn’t have a lot of freedom, and sometimes, it feels the same. I was ignored unless I was needed, and after my power manifested, I was only needed for what I could offer. I was only useful if I could control my power and provide weapons.”
