“I have been,” she replied. “Talking to him, I mean. Or he’s been around more?”
By the Fates.
Razik put the charcoal back down and rubbed at his brow with his thumb and forefinger as he reminded himself he needed this. Needed her to trust him. That her wanting to casually converse was a good thing. That this was exactly what Tybalt had put him in this position for.
“Why does your face look like that?” Kailia asked when he lifted his head to meet her stare once more.
He sighed. “That’s a rude question, Lia.”
She frowned. “Oh.” Then she added, “You excel at being rude.”
“Yes, but it’s not a good look for a queen.”
“No one else is here.”
He inhaled deeply, swallowing his growing impatience. “I’m glad to see Cethin has finally figured out you are getting lonely.”
Those words had her straightening, the book falling closed and forgotten. With a frown, she said, “I prefer solitude.”
“Me too, yet here we are,” he muttered.
She sent him a bland look.
“Despite that, even those of us who prefer solitude tend to have one or two people we don’t entirely hate being around,” he went on, ignoring her displeasure. “You constantly tell Cethin he’s never around.”
“Because he’s not.”
“And that bothers you.”
“No, it doesn’t.”
It was his turn to send her a frank look. “It does, or you wouldn’t bring it up all the time. I’m not saying I understand it, but I’m calling it like I see it.”
“Well, you’re wrong.”
“Rarely,” he muttered.
“And as arrogant as he is,” she tacked on.
That had him grinding his molars, and they both fell silent, the tension in the room thick. He wasn’t about to be the one to break it, so he went back to the book. The book wasn’t about Ash Riders, but about curses and enchantments. He was hoping to find something regarding stifling a certain part of one’s power. It made no sense that only one piece of her magic was being affected. Why not all of it?
“When’s the last time you tried to move through your ashes?” he asked after a good solid hour had ticked by of both of them studiously ignoring the other.
Kailia lifted her head, a weird look of suspicion on her face. “Why?”
“Maybe it was a fluke,” he said with a shrug. “If you haven’t tried in a while?—”
“It wasn’t a fluke, Raz,” she interrupted, her jaw tight and tone harsh. “If you couldn’t shift into your beast form, you’d know in your soul something was wrong.”
Fair point.
He rubbed at his jaw. “Recently then?”
“The last time I attempted it was in my dreams, and even there, it failed.”
His hand dropped to the desk. “Even in your dreams your power isn’t working?”
She nodded. “I haven’t tried outside my dreams since the attack in Shira Forest. I don’t know where I will be pulled to. Or if I will be able to get back…” She trailed off, before adding, “Do you know what it is like not to be able to trust yourself? When you’re the only one you’ve been able to rely on for so long?”
