His eye already seemed healed, his voice much smoother.
“If we complete the mate bond,” I blurted, “would that make you heal faster?”
His eyebrows rose in surprise. “Likely not,” he admitted. “If you were another seraph, if you had your own ayim, then I would heal faster because I’d have your strength running through my veins, too. But?—”
“But I’m human.” I slumped, sighing heavily. “I’m so sorry you’re stuck with me as your mate.”
Gentle fingers touched my chin, turning my face until I met his gaze. “Lilith, why would you say something like that?” His brown eyes were filled with such love it made me ache with longing.
“You deserve so much better than me.” All that love and kindness, all his protective and loyal traits—how I wished I had the strength to accept it earlier.
Understanding dawned across his face. He dipped his head, and I could see his flesh healing before my eyes. “Lilith, you are everything I would’ve hoped for in a mate, if I ever thought I’d be lucky enough to find mine. I love you.”
I sniffed. “It’s not just the mate bond thing making you do that?”
He shook his head. “Seraphim can refuse the bond. The consequences are unpleasant. But love and mating are two separate things. They are stronger together—everyone expects to find both in the same pairing—but I know even if you weren’t my mate I’d still want to make myself yours.”
“Castiel.” I took a breath, preparing to be brave. “I love you.” The words slipped out and I couldn’t take them back now. But I could trust Castiel with my love.
Awe filled his face. “You do?”
I nodded. “I was too frightened to admit it. When you told me I was your mate, the first thing I thought of was how it could go wrong—how you’d eventually resent being trapped by my side.”
He nodded in understanding. “I won’t be like your family. I know it’s easy for me to say and harder for you to believe, but?—”
I kissed him, stopping his words. “I do believe you. This past day, locked in the prayer closet and hoping you were alive…I’m not going to let fear stop me.”
Castiel stroked a strand of hair from my face, his eyes so tender it made me feel safe and wanted in his arms. “You have a heart of courage, and I cannot believe I get to witness you grow into it.” He kissed me, and it tasted like blood and sweat and above all, love. I opened myself to his kiss, welcoming his tongue as it swiped inside. Our passion melded together, growing within us as we shared ourselves with one another. The longer I kissed him, the sweeter he tasted. And when he put his hand on my breast, it felt like a brand.
I was his.
He was mine.
He ran a hand down my arm, and my skin celebrated the sensation. His touch reverberated through my body. I gasped, leaning into his kiss.
His fingertips caressed my inner wrist, then swept down my palm to squeeze my fingers. He brought them to his lips to kiss, but paused and frowned.
“Lilith, what happened?” He turned my hand this way and that, looking at the fingernails torn past the quick, the scabs, and the dried blood caked in the creases.
“I was trying to get out.” I kissed up his jaw and flicked my tongue in his ear.
He nudged away from me, intent on the damaged fingers. “Let me heal you.”
“What? How?” It took a heartbeat for my mind to catch up. “No, we are not completing the bond right now. You’re not going to cut yourself open to give me ayim. You need all of yours.”
Castiel gave me a dark look. “It will only take a moment.”
“No,” I said gently but firmly, slipping my hand from his.
Hurt flickered in his eyes at the perceived rejection.
I cupped his jaw with both hands and pressed my forehead to his. “Beloved, I will not let you harm yourself for me.”
“I would do anything to keep you safe,” he interjected.
“No,” I said again, eyes shut. “You have already done too much. It will heal in its time. And then, when we bond, it will be in pure joy and celebration.”
He shuddered, and his wings flared briefly. “You mean it?” he rasped.
