Metal jangled and clinked, the telltale sounds of all four locks sliding into place. Fear made me gasp for air even as despair settled in my gut like a millstone.
I shut my eyes, clutching my head. Don’t panic, don’t panic, don’t panic. Breathe like Jo showed you.
My sister had been punished with a night in the closet several times, and they had taught me how to breathe evenly, to calm my emotions after an unjust argument with our parents. I thought back to their voice, listening to the echoes from the past.
Slowly, slowly, my heartbeat returned to normal. My mind twisted and turned, trying to make sense of what had happened.
What was the elder’s plan? Were all the elders in on it? I fumed, fear and anger twining around my heart. How could I have been so blind? It was my fault the elders knew about his weakness regarding saltwater.
“Fuck!” I spit the word into the stale air, not caring for once who heard me. I bowed my head, gripping my hair with my hands, trying to think of a plan.
Surely Elder Nelson was correct—drinking saltwater wouldn’t kill Castiel. He was a seraph. He was stronger, faster, his senses were better. He had ayim to heal him. He should be able to break free of them as soon as the ayim was finished healing his stomach and throat.
I pushed myself to my feet, opening my eyes to total blackness. Stretching my hands out, I mapped the shape of the prayer closet. It felt smaller since I’d last been in here. That one time as a youth was more than enough to cure me of ever fighting back again.
Yet here I was.
The room was truly a closet—perhaps six feet by six feet. From what I remembered, a waste bucket sat in one corner of the room and a stool in the other. The stool held two books and a gas lamp. There was no blanket, no window, no pillow, nothing to provide comfort.
With shaking hands I groped in the dark until I found the lamp and the striker. Carefully I lit the wick, then replaced the glass cover. My stomachache eased as light filled the tiny room.
I glanced down at the books. One was a worn copy of Erlik’s precepts, and the other was a collection of Prayers for the Wayward Heart by one of the Grimshaws. My lip curled in disgust and I dropped them on the dusty floor.
No way of escape, no food for three days. I sighed, trying to think.
I have to save him.
The thought of me saving Castiel was laughable. Especially now I was locked away. The elders would tell my mother where I was, but she wouldn’t even think to ask them for mercy on my behalf. The elders did what the elders did, and the rest of us submitted.
I hoped Castiel would break free any minute. I didn’t know what I could do, but I had to try.
Blood seeped from under my broken fingernails. I winced, putting them to my mouth to soothe the pain. My back and shoulders ached, and I’d have bruises there by morning. Pacing back and forth, I tried to consider what they would do to him. Why they were doing this. Or—what if he already had freed himself and flew away without me? Fear struck my heart at the thought. I examined the door: the crack, the hinges, the knob, the locks. It was impenetrable.
The single flame flickered and blurred, and I realized I was crying. I slumped in a corner, hugging my knees to my chest, and waited.
A tentative knock came from the other side of the door.
I jolted from my trance.
There came the sound of the little door at the bottom, large enough to slide a tray through, beginning to open.
Silent as I could, I stood and tiptoed to the door.
“All you do is slide the latch,” a muffled female voice drifted through the crack. “Then open here and slide the tray in.”
Another muffled sound.
The first woman sighed. “Come closer. Hold the candle up.” Mrs. Dalton! I crouched by the opening.
“Please, Mrs. Dalton! Can you please tell the elders I’ve prayed and repented?” The hard floor pinched my knees, even through the layers of my skirt.
Flickering candlelight appeared in the hole, and I could just make out black shoes.
“I think not, Lilith Meadows.” Her smug voice seemed to echo around me. “Always pretending you were holy, you were better than everyone else. Yet justice always comes. And Erlik has stripped you of your false pretenses. The elders see your true spirit now.”
I gritted my teeth, burning hot with rage. This fucking woman. I was so fed up with the sanctimonious bullshit.
Gods beyond, that felt good. Fucking bullshit.
