As one, the men reached for the water in the font.
Elder Nelson cleared his throat and stared at the young elder who’d spoken. Rage burned in his eyes.
“Oh.” He flushed, then stooped to pick something off the floor.
The others paused, looking at one another in question. So this wasn’t the usual way. Interesting.
The man brought up a small burlap bag, reached inside, and sprinkled something white over the water. It shimmered as it fell. “Today we add salt to the holy water—a symbol of the protection against evil that Lord Erlik provides.”
My whole body tensed.
He quickly set the bag down at his feet again, lost in the shadows, and returned to the liturgy. “We purify our hands so all we do brings glory to you. We purify our head so all our thoughts will bring glory to you. Thank you, Erlik.”
The men dipped their hands in the water. It splashed against the rim, churning and whirling. As one, they rinsed their hands.
Water sloshed and spilled out the side, splashing on the stone pavers at our feet. It splashed and landed against my trousers, which didn’t hurt. But a few drops hit my abdomen. I gritted my teeth against the burn. I didn’t blink, though it felt like hot coals pressed into my skin.
The elder performing the ritual turned to the nearest pew and dabbed his face with a cloth, then passed it to the man on his right.
“Herald, please, go ahead.” The elder on my right shuffled away from me. “We will make room for you.”
I froze. I couldn’t do it.
I could tolerate the pain, but the welts and sizzling skin would be obvious. When we Fell, we pledged to one another to keep our secrets hidden. We could overtake a human in any skirmish, but if they knew saltwater could kill us, the tides could turn.
Damn all, if I had the ability to use magic—if it was accessible in this world, perhaps I could do something.
When I didn’t reply, the elders all looked at me with confusion.
“Are you claiming that I, a Herald from the Beyond, needs to purify myself before I pray to my lord and master? Me, who has spent eternity worshipping in his presence, unlike you humans?”
Two quickly denied it, wiping their hands dry and refusing to meet my gaze.
Tomes frowned and opened his mouth. He was smart enough to question why their—what was the word Lilith had used?—parrot wasn’t obeying.
Had they not seen my brown wings? I was no parrot. I was a hawk. And I wasn’t going to perform for them much longer. The only reason they got this much out of me was because of my association with Lilith. I wouldn’t let them blame her for my “rebellion.”
The ritual quickly turned toward prayer. The men sat on the front pew, facing the front of the church, and murmured quiet prayers.
I couldn’t sit in a pew. I stood off to the side, pretending to pray but watching them through my eyelashes.
That anger grew inside me, making my feathers rustle and my fists tighten. If I was home in Aerie, we could’ve already been married and mated. I wouldn’t have to explain mating. She would’ve been as delighted as me to find her match. No one would’ve stood in our way. Everyone knew finding your mate was one of the best things that could happen to a person.
I closed my eyes, imagining it. Bringing her to meet my family, finding a mage to bless our union, sharing our ayim between one another, and—but that wasn’t true, not exactly. Lilith didn’t have wings.
I’d told her honestly seraphim had seven echelons, and few marriages existed between different levels. I was from the fifth echelon, near the bottom. I hadn’t told her the seventh echelon was filled with outcasts, often called “wingless ones.” The greatest punishment in our world was stripping someone of their wings. It was violent, bloody, and shocking. Sometimes seraphim died from blood loss. Only the worst of us were cast out without our wings.
Even though Lilith was born without wings as a human, I doubted many seraphim would see it that way. She’d be viewed with suspicion and contempt. Suddenly I understood why Gabriel had decided to stay here, in this human world, even if we found a path home. He wasn’t going to subject his mate to such a life.
I couldn’t subject Lilith to something like that. If I wanted her, I’d have to stay in the human world.
If she wanted me.
Skies, this world wasn’t fair.
But I already knew that. I’d Fallen out of my world and spent five decades trying to return.
Everything became as clear as the thin air high above the cloud levels. I needed Lilith. I would do whatever it took to be with her, to create a space she felt safe and happy. Whatever that meant.
