Tears filled her eyes. She angrily wiped them away, glaring at me.
But I smiled, because I knew what that glare meant. Those tears were evidence of her heart thawing. I reached over, cupping her chin with both hands, and wiped away her tears with my thumbs.
“Doesn’t that hurt?” Lilith asked, blinking to stem the flow.
“It doesn’t matter,” I murmured. “Right now what matters is you, Lily.”
She gave me a watery smile. “I didn’t mean to ruin the mood.”
Again, my heart lurched in my chest painfully. “You didn’t,” I assured her.
She scoffed. “We were kissing and now we’re not.”
I ignored the burn against my fingers, pretending I didn’t feel like my skin was being eaten away by acid. “When you’re ready we can try again.”
“I’ve never done that much,” she said, a mixture of hope and shyness crossing her face. “Is it always so wonderful?”
No. Only with mates, I almost told her. But this wasn’t the time. Tomorrow, perhaps. After I’d found the manuscript.
I brushed my lips across her forehead. Her eyelashes fluttered against my cheeks, and she took a deep, steadying breath. Then she tucked her head under my chin and snuggled closer. I wrapped my arms around her shoulders, hoping it would comfort her. We stayed that way for several moments.
I wanted, more than anything, for her to be happy with her body. Eventually, I hesitantly offered, “I would like to show you how to find your own pleasure, your own beauty.”
She pulled away to look at my face, her eyes brightening. “What do you mean?”
“Let me show you how you can use your body to feel good, to find satisfaction. Use your body so you can experience beauty rather than something a man takes from you.”
“Ah. Um, yes, we can try.” She shifted on my bed, eyes darting away from my face as if she was nervous.
I gently leaned in and pressed another kiss to her forehead. “Nothing to be worried about. I won’t even touch you at all if you don’t want it.”
“I like your hands,” she admitted.
I bent my head further and nuzzled her throat. “Alright. We’ll do it together,” I purred, and smiled into her neck as I heard her heartbeat speed up in response.
I ran my lips up and down her neck and across her mouth until she relaxed and I could smell her arousal fill the air around us again.
“Now,” I whispered, running a hand down her arm and wrapping it around her own hand. I picked up her hand and placed it over her breast. “Touch yourself.”
Fifteen
Lilith
I gasped as the warm weight of my hand settled over my breast. I wore my oldest and thinnest corset, and I could feel my nipple harden through the fabric.
Castiel’s eyes bored into mine, and I saw desire there, yes, but also admiration. And not a hint of covetousness. That made me want to arch my back into my own hand, to moan in front of him, to abandon my icy demeanor and submit to the pleasure he would teach me.
“Do you feel it?” he murmured, keeping his hand to mine.
I nodded, eyes fluttering. At his gentle guidance, I plucked and teased my nipple, letting the pleasure build through my body, and then went to my other breast.
“Both hands,” Castiel suggested, finding my other hand and putting it in place. “Ah, the sight of those soft fingers on those hard nipples will be the death of me. Do you know how often I’ve imagined those nipples? One day you’re going to let me learn what they taste like.”
I stifled a moan as I played with my body, passion spreading its wings inside me. I had never done this. After several moments, he put his hands on my shoulders. “Lie back,” he told me, putting pressure on me.
I did, awkwardly, and he arranged my body to drape across his bed. He sat beside me, wings draped down and over the edge of his bed, as he gazed at me with fire in his eyes. “Roll over.” He nudged me.
Obliging, I turned to my stomach and gave him access to the buttons of my dress at my neck. He quickly made work of them, sliding the wool dress down my arms.
