The shadowy figure spun, moving away from the edge of the temple. “Lilith?” The voice was thin, surprise coloring the words. “Is it—is it you?”
A sob tore out of Lilith’s throat, and she barreled straight into the cloaked person.
“Lilith!” I called, all senses tingling.
But suddenly they were embracing, Lilith’s pale head tucked against the hood of the other person’s cloak, arms thrown around necks. I halted midstride, watching carefully.
“What are you doing here?” The tone was bewildered.
“I thought you were dead,” Lilith cried out.
“No. Lilith, what are you doing here?”
Lilith sniffled, drawing back to look the person in the face. “Gods, it’s been so long. Why haven’t you come to visit? Why did you let me think you were dead?”
Ah. Her other sibling. I stayed put, not wanting to intrude on their space. Lilith was shaking, her whole body trembling from shock and other emotions.
The person flipped their hood back, revealing a face very similar to Lilith’s—blond hair, though cropped short, sharper cheekbones, lines around the mouth that betrayed a few harsh years, the same nose.
I glanced around, making sure no one else was there to witness this fraught reunion. The shadows hid us from view, and the windows of the temple were dark. Lilith was safe, at least for a while.
Thirteen
Lilith
I stared at my sister, still unable to believe my eyes. “Is it really you?” Elation churned inside me, though in the back of my mind confusion rumbled, too. My sister didn’t look anything like I remembered.
“Yes.” That nose wrinkle, that crooked smile, though, I remembered that.
Why didn’t you come back? Why did you wash your hands of me? I wanted to ask. But I couldn’t.
“Have you…have you left the Church of the Love of His Divine Saints?”
I shook my head. “I’m running a message for one of the elders.” I took a breath. “Why don’t you come back for a visit? Mother would welcome you. We’ve had hard times lately, and I’d be happy to bring you for a little?—”
But a head shake cut me off. “I can’t.” The pained expression made my own stomach clench.
“Why?” I demanded, a thread of anger leaking through now the shock was wearing off. “Why won’t you?”
“I can’t. I can never return.”
I stilled. “What does that mean?”
My sister sighed. “Do you remember what it was like, right before I was asked to leave?”
I shook my head. “Asked to leave? I thought you were tired of arguing with Mother and Father and ran away.”
“That’s not quite true.” The words came sharp and annoyed. “They told me to obey or leave. And I was so tired of the prayer closet. I’d prayed enough my knees ached.”
I tried to remember the details. Mostly, I remembered curling up in bed, trying to block out the sounds of yelling downstairs, of cold breakfasts the next morning, of seeing my sister miserable and angry all the time. “I know you didn’t like the dresses Mother made you wear,” I said slowly. “And Reverend Grimshaw—the second one—warned our parents how much time you were spending with boys.”
A nod. “But what was the final issue, what truly ended things, was that I refused to, well, conform to their expectations. I didn’t want to marry and settle down to raise babies. I didn’t want to wear dresses and be called miss and mistress for the rest of my life.”
I blinked and took another step backward. My eyes roved my sister’s face, noticing now the cropped hair, the men’s trousers under the cloak, the masculine necktie. “You…you didn’t want to be a woman,” I realized.
They shrugged. “Not exactly. I was also interested in studying courses through the temple of Saras, which our parents would never have allowed. Our family worships Lord Erlik and no other.”
I grimaced. That was certainly true. “They forced you out?” My voice came out more shrill than I meant. “I can’t…How could…” My words trailed off as I saw the pain etched across my sister’s face. “I’m sorry. I wish you had told me.”
