“I can get the butler?” he finished with a weak smile, hating to disappoint her.
“Very well. I’ll wait here.”
When the door had shut and the servant gone to get the butler, Lilith glanced back at me with a wry smile. “Don’t worry. We’ll find a way to get what you need. Then you can leave.”
My heart sank. I wasn’t ready to leave yet. I wasn’t ready to say goodbye. I needed more time.
How do you tell someone they’re your mate? I ground my teeth. I’d never imagined a conversation like that. I thought if I had a mate, that seraph would recognize me at the same time. No explanations necessary.
Please, skies and stars, give me more time.
Lilith was still staring at me, waiting. Oh. I hadn’t answered her.
I cleared my throat. “Thank you, Lilith. I will not forget all your help. You’ve done us a great service.”
Her eyes dulled. She looked down and scuffed her boots. “I’m glad I could help.”
My heart lurched at the dejected tone. I need to tell her. I can’t have her unhappy when there’s so much more to us than she knows. “Lily.” I stepped forward and opened my mouth, though I had no idea what was about to come out.
She glanced up at me. “Yes?” Her voice was a whisper, and it made the hair on my arms and the tertiary feathers lining my shoulderblades stand up on end.
“Lily, my cirra, I need to tell you?—”
The door opened, spilling a line of bright, golden candlelight across her body.
A man of medium height and portly belly stood before her, looking down a rather large nose. “If you have a message for Lord Fallon, I will pass it along.”
Lilith stepped forward. “I’m from the Church of the Love of His Divine Saints. I was sent here to see if I could show our visitor the library collection.”
The butler sniffed. “Visitors are not allowed without invitation. Especially to see his special collection.”
I growled low in the back of my throat.
“It’s important,” Lilith insisted. “This is a Herald.” She gestured at me, still half-hidden in the shadows. “He wishes to inspect?—”
I cleared my throat, cutting her off. I didn’t want any of this to get back around to the elders. I couldn’t put Lilith in jeopardy. I’d already learned of the prayer room and flogging from an overeager Elder White. I didn’t know if it would happen to Lilith if the elders found out she’d been helping me under their noses, but I wasn’t willing to find out. “Pass a message along, will you?”
The butler’s face jerked toward me, his eyes narrowing. “You’re a…Herald?”
“Yes, straight from Lord Erlik,” Lilith insisted. “Tell Lord Fallon we will be available any time tomorrow to view his collection. He doesn’t have to be there. The Herald is happy to bestow a blessing on all humans who assist him.”
The butler thought it over for a second, then nodded. “If he allows it, I will send a note to the elders tomorrow.”
Lilith’s shoulders sagged with relief, and it touched me that she cared so much. Or she wants you gone, a voice in the back of my mind taunted. “Thank you. We’ll be waiting for the note.”
The butler shut the door a little too fast for my taste.
Lilith turned around and sighed. Shadows flitted across her face. “I’m sorry, Castiel. This whole experience must be so frustrating for you.”
No, it isn’t.
I stilled, struck by the realization. Not a piece of this was frustrating.
Well, any interaction with the elders was horrible. But most of my time was spent with Lilith.
“Actually,” I said, my wings tightening against my back. “I would do this every day if it meant I spent more time with you.”
Lilith’s cheeks turned rosy and she glanced away. “You’re exaggerating, Castiel. You don’t have to flatter me to get my help. I want to help you.”
