I tensed, waiting for an accusation. Perhaps a demand to repent. But none came.
“I requested a copy of Erlik’s precepts,” Castiel continued. “Yet none have arrived at my rooms.”
Nelson cocked his head, his eyes turning even sharper than normal. “And…why do you need that, Herald, if you, as his servant, have all of his words memorized?”
I stilled, holding my breath. My hands clenched my skirts so tight my knuckles whitened. My gaze followed the two leaves, now spinning haphazardly in the air.
But Castiel laughed. “Of course, Elder, of course I do. I need to see if the Church of the Love of His Divine Saints has faithfully copied his words. This is not a test of my knowledge, but of your faithfulness.”
Nelson pursed his lips. “I will make certain one is delivered to you before supper.” But his eyes still cut across Castiel to me. “Lilith, come attend me.”
“Oh.” My breath fogged the air as I jerked my attention back to him. “Um, well, I can do so. But…may I at least deliver this kerosene to my mother? Our lamps are running low.”
His eyes narrowed, but he nodded.
“I shall send her to you when she is finished,” Castiel offered, his tone condescending and magnanimous. It was enough to make me grind my teeth, except I knew he was doing it for my benefit. I flushed again, jerking away. I grabbed the jar of kerosene and hugged it to my chest, stepping away from Castiel. See, nothing indecent happening here.
Castiel shot me a small, private frown, which I ignored.
“Thank you…Herald.” Elder Nelson’s emphasis on the last word made me stiffen, the blood in my veins turning cold. Did he suspect? If he suspected, did he also suspect I was helping Castiel deceive everyone?
Elder Nelson harumphed, then turned toward his own home down the lane.
“With your permission, Herald, I shall leave you,” I said, making my voice loud enough for Nelson to hear.
But Castiel held up a hand, gesturing silently for me to pause.
I waited, watching his face stay serious. My belly flipped in nerves and disappointment. I was becoming disturbingly interested in his smirks and mischievous eyes. Now he wasn’t wearing a smile, especially after our kiss, all I wanted was to return to the moment before Nelson had found us, when I was still sheltered under his wing and pressed against his strong body.
“I need to see Lord Fallon’s collection,” he said.
My stomach sank further. Foolish girl. He kissed you because you’re pretty and available. He doesn’t want you; he wants the information in the book. I forced a smile. “Oh. Yes, that. Of course.” I swallowed hard. “That is our agreement.”
“Now I need to find him without alerting the elders what I’m doing. Nelson will find that suspicious to be sure.”
I frowned, wrapping my arms around my chest and shivering. “Why?”
He glanced at me. “Why? Why, what?”
“Why keep it so secretive? They’re going to proclaim your existence to the entire world. Grab the book and go. How could they stop you? You have no weakness. It’s not like they could trap you.”
He opened his mouth. Shut it, glanced down. Then glanced back at me. “Because if I charge through here like a seraph on a mission, letting them know my every intention…they will find out how you’ve helped me.”
“Oh.” My breath escaped in the wind.
“When I leave, you will stay behind.” His eyes hardened. “I do not want them to punish you for my actions. They will be sorely disappointed their chance for glory has slipped through their fingers.”
I nodded, ignoring the anxiety building in my chest. “That is true.” I would go to the prayer closet for certain. Perhaps even flogged in front of the church for my rebellious nature. I’d heard all my life Lord Erlik was a father who loved his children, but…that had never felt like love to me.
Best not borrow trouble before it comes. After a moment I piped up again. “I know where Fallon lives.”
Castiel’s eyes widened in surprise. “You do? How?”
“I write all their correspondence,” I said with a laugh, forcing my worry and fear away. “I know everything.”
He threw back his head and laughed, the sound echoing around us in the thin air. The column of his throat was long and masculine, and my stomach flipped. My toes curled in their boots, and I wanted to touch him again. I pushed that urge down, too.
“Of course you do. Lily, I believe you’re smarter than all the elders put together.”
