“I mean it,” I insisted, not willing to let this go. “Perhaps my opinion as a human isn’t worth much, but all I see is strength and a heart of gold. Worth so much more than any silly old seraphim king.”
He laughed then. “You’re sweet. I promise I won’t tell anyone.”
Realizing he wanted the subject changed, I asked, “Is there a reason you weren’t close with him? Was he cruel?” My mind flew to all the times Absalom had hurt animals, how he bloodied other boys’ noses and called the girls dirty if they didn’t want to kiss him.
“No. We’re different people. He couldn’t understand why I was willing to give everything for a chance to join the next echelon. He understood the desire. He could see I didn’t want to farm. But he thought it was pointless, that I was risking my life in special missions for no reason. He didn’t believe I’d ever gain the favor of the king.”
I exhaled, watching my breath plume in the air. “I see.” After a pause, I added, “I’m sorry you had to fight so hard to prove your worth.”
He hummed. “I could say the same about you. Except you’re not quite fighting to be seen, are you? You’re fighting to remain unnoticed.”
I stilled. How had he seen so much in so little time? How did he know me?
Castiel’s wing brushed my back, barely, so faint I wondered if I imagined it. “I notice you, Lily. I see you.”
My heart skipped a beat. “It’s safer to be unnoticed.” I couldn’t go completely unnoticed—my face brought a lot of attention, and my reputation had been built over the years.
“Cirra,” he whispered, and it didn’t sound like an insult. It sounded like a caress.
Pulse pounding in my ears, I turned. His face was right there. He was so close to me, his arms so big and strong. What if he lifted his arms around me, too? What if I had someone to keep me safe with arms and wings?
His eyes flickered across my face, as if he was searching for something. Seeing something. And for once, I didn’t squirm at the thought of a man looking at me. My body turned hot despite the cold wind, and an anxious energy bundled inside me. Something was going to happen. I could see it in his eyes.
He slowly lifted a hand toward me, as if to cup my cheek.
I was used to people touching me, but I would like this. I would like him. I held my breath, waiting.
To my surprise, his hand slipped down to mine. He gently took one hand and brought it to his own face. I was touching him. His stubble scratched my palm. My fingers, half frozen, thawed between his cheek and his hand.
Something hot and slippery unfurled in my belly when his breath brushed past my exposed wrist. “Castiel,” I whispered.
His eyes were steady on me, anchoring me to this moment, to us. For once I could forget about everything else. Nothing mattered right now but this. My thumb moved on its own, a subtle caress up to his cheekbone and back down.
His eyes fluttered shut, and a look of…relief passed across his face. Not quite pleasure, but relief, as if my touch had taken pain from him. Somehow that made it seem so much more serious. Castiel’s breath, unsteady now, blew across my wrist.
“Cirra, I would have you shine. You should be noticed. You should feel safe to be noticed.” His words made pleasure spread in my body. “You are stronger, brighter than you know.”
“You said cirras are clouds made of ice crystals—beautiful, fragile, and cold,” I whispered.
His eyes opened. “You are precious and should be handled with reverence. But you also have an unbreakable core and a mind clear as the north winds. I see that now.”
I shivered, more from the heat of his gaze than the wind whipping my skirts around my calves. “You are…” My mind emptied as I tried to describe him. Nothing fit. He didn’t fit in my neat, tidy view of the world. “You’ve torn through my life like a whirlwind,” I said. I can only stand back and admire you.
Castiel’s eyes flickered down to my lips. His hand dropped, no longer keeping mine to his cheek, as if giving me permission to shy away.
I didn’t. Instead, I leaned closer.
His head dipped down and he pressed a gentle kiss to my lips.
My heart flew. My other hand came up to rest against his bare chest, thrumming with his heartbeat.
Castiel’s wing wrapped tighter, curling around my shoulder and nudging me against him. His own hands slid up to cup my jaw, and I felt so secure and safe in the shelter of his wings that all thoughts of the day slipped from my mind.
His lips returned for another, deeper kiss.
I hadn’t been kissed in many years. Perhaps since I was eighteen, back when it felt safe to engage in flirtation without being caught. Those boys had been sloppy, overeager—perhaps I had been, too. We were little more than children then.
But Castiel was a man. A warrior. A being of power and age beyond human understanding, and he kissed like he was born to it.
