Then I breathe out, slumping. And whatever tension that held the room captive dissipates. Even thescintilsbrighten once more, and a cool breeze wafts down from the air grate. I lie back on my pillows, once more staring up at the ceiling, breathing deeply until my heart rate begins to steady once more.
Philippa rises. To my surprise, she doesn’t flee the room but approaches my bed once more. Her face, though still limned with fear, is strangely subdued. She bows her head. “I…I will admit,” she says at last, “the trial today was harder to observe than I anticipated. I had not expected the dragons to appear so…human.”
“Theyarehuman,” I point out, my voice sad and weak and small. “Just like I am. Whatever else we are doesn’t negate our humanity.”
Philippa nods. “I understand. I think.” Then she reaches out, the gesture sharp and a little impulsive, and takes hold of one of my hands. “But that doesn’t change what Mhoryga is. It doesn’t change what must be done.”
Two final tears escaping and streaking down my cheeks. “It doesn’t change that I must kill her?”
Philippa shakes her head, her eyes sad. “If you don’t, what hope do any of us have?”
I close my eyes as though to protect myself from her words. But it’s no use. In my mind’s eye, I see again the hellish light thatlit the sky the night Durona was slain. There’s more to that image now, however. I hear not only the screams of the other villagers, or my mother’s voice crying out from the burning cottage for me to climb up, to get out, to flee for the forest.I hear as well the growling desperation in the voice of the dracori who bowed over me.
Run, he’d said, pushing me away from him.
What happened to him after that night? After he gave me that chance to escape? I’ve never stopped to wonder what punishment he endured for failing to kill me. His fellow dracori may have slain him on the spot for all I know. But it is because of him I am alive today.
From there, my mind turns to the three dragons in the pit. I remember how the older two sought to reach their youngest brother as he was dragged away. I remember as well how the darker fellow tried to protect the fair brother, even as the latter accepted his fate and refused to fight. Refused to shed blood even in self-defense.
From there, my mind turns inevitably to Valtar. Always back to Valtar. So dark, so full of secret pain. Could it be that he really was nothing more than an agent of Mhoryga, sent to kill me and bring an end to these trials? If so, he had countless opportunities to do it. Why, the very first time I saw him, I was utterly and completely at his mercy! But he didn’t harm me. Not once. And now he’s…he’s…
Oh gods. Gods above and below, I want to crumple up in a tiny ball of misery, to let the horror of my circumstances swallow me. To wallow in heartbreak and helplessness more paralyzing than even the highest doses ofholabella. But I can’t.
Because, for the first time since my arrival here in StrominPalace, I know what I must do. And it sure as hells isn’t putting on some elaborate confection of a gown and marrying Prince Taigan.
I sit up in bed. Though my body still aches beyond reason, I force myself to rise, teetering a little, but locking my knees. I turn to face Philippa. I know I shouldn’t trust her; she must and will betray me the instant Alderin asks anything of her. But she is the closest thing I’ve got to an ally in this place, and I desperately need allies right now.
“Philippa,” I say, my voice heavy on my tongue, “there is something I must do. Now. Tonight. And I need your help.”
She looks at me long and hard. “Does it involve sneaking through the air shafts again?”
I lift my chin firmly. “You must lock the door from the inside. And then you must take a dose ofholabellayourself. Tell them I forced you to drink it. I am an apothecary’s apprentice, after all—I know a thing or two about drugs. It will give you an alibi.”
She licks her lips. “Princess,” she says, “I know you cannot marry Prince Taigan—”
“Gods right, I can’t.”
“—but you won’t abandon us.” She blinks, and a tear slips down her cheek. “Will you?”
I don’t know what to say. I don’t know what I have to offer her that will make any difference now. So I take her hand in mine, tilt my head to catch her gaze. “I will fight, Philippa,” I say. “I will fight with all I have in me to end Mhoryga’s reign. I will fight and I will die trying to be whatever it is I am meant to be: savior or sacrifice or plain stupid fool. I swear to you, I won’t run away from my destiny. But”—and here I squeeze her fingers—“Icannot do it the way Alderin has decided. There’s another way. At least, I think there might be. And I’ve got to see if I can do it. For you. For him. For…all of them.”
For Durona, who used the very last of her strength to push me to safety, even as she herself burned.
For Joro and his dead pirates, who gave their lives to stop another dragon from ruling them.
For Bryon and Rune and Elis, who risked everything for a chance to wed me and walk with me into hell.
For my two dead brothers, slain before my very eyes.
For Valtar.
For Valtar…
No. I won’t think of him. Not now. I will fall apart if I do. So I stifle those thoughts and feelings down as firmly as I can and simply meet Philippa’s gaze.
My lady breathes out a sigh through quivering lips. “But how can you thwart Alderin’s will, Princess?” she whispers, as though afraid of being overheard even in the privacy of my chamber.
“I must escape,” I reply simply.
