But memory always did. That was the problem.
He breathed slowly. And it was like a door opening, just a crack, because the air still held Tristan’s faint scent. Something sparked low in his chest at the thought of those hazel eyes, fullof light, full ofhim. For a heartbeat, he let himself feel it. Not hope exactly, but something gentler than dread.
But there was something else. He scented again. Beneath the echo of Tristan was an absence he hadn’t noticed until now. Nico’s scent. The thick, clinging weight of it had soaked into him for three years. It had been part of him.
Gone. Scrubbed away in a single shower. Instead of relief, there was only weightlessness. He felt unmoored, like he was falling backward into nothing.
And then, for the first time, he imagined Nico’s reaction when he discovered that Colby had run. And that he’d freed Nico’s prisoner.
Cold uncoiled inside him, slow and merciless. It slid beneath his skin, into his blood. He folded tighter, arms cinched around himself, but it didn’t help. He shook anyway.
Chapter Thirteen
TRISTAN
He’d planned to go see Colby after dinner, but Matt stopped him with a quiet, “Come to the den.”
Tristan blinked. Matt didn’t often speak with him alone. The last time, it had been about college—whether he actually wanted to major in engineering or had been swayed by Bryce’s enthusiasm. But this felt different. This wasn’t his alpha as honorary guidance counselor. This was hisalpha.
He sat down when Matt gestured to the armchair, heart skittering. Matt settled across from him, calm and solid as ever, his eyes searching Tristan’s face.
“How’s your head?”
“Uh, fine.” He reached up and winced when his fingers brushed the tender spot. “Okay, not totally fine, but I’d honestly forgotten about it till I poked it just now.”
Matt nodded. “Good.”
Then he hesitated, andthatmore than anything set Tristan on edge.
“How do you feel about picking up your patrols again? Once your head’s better.”
“Yeah, of course,” Tristan said. It had never occurred to him that might be a question. And then he thought about the language Matt had used. How did hefeel? That wasn’t a typical Matt sort of question.
His earlier fears came back to him, that his belief in Colby’s innocence had put some kind of rift between him and the pack. That he couldn’t be trusted.
“Is there a reason you think I might not be able to?” he asked, his gut twisting unhappily. If he’d lost Matt’s trust, he didn’t know what he’d do. But he couldn’t go along with Matt’s judgment of Colby just to get it back.
A flicker of unease showed on Matt’s face. “It must have been traumatic, getting grabbed like that from somewhere you felt was safe,” he said stiffly.
Tristan’s breath left his lungs in a rush of relief. Right.That’swhat this was. Matt wasn’t suspicious—he was just doing that alpha thing where he tried to talk about feelings like it didn’t kill him inside.
Warmth curled through his chest. “Honestly?” he said, then paused. He wanted to give the brave answer. But now he stopped and thought about it, he wasn’t sure it would be true.
“I don’t know,” he said at last, reluctantly. “I want to say I’ll be okay out there on my own, in the dark, but I’m not sure.” Especially with that ominous red moon hanging in the sky like a portent. “Maybe I could tag along with someone, the first time?”
“Good idea,” Matt said. “And Tristan—there’s no pressure. No one’s judging. None of us has beenthrough what you have.”
Except therewaspressure, and they both knew it. With Cale still prowling and the pack stretched thin, every body counted.
“Thanks,” Tristan said, deciding to ask Bryce to come with him. Bryce made everything easier.
“When they brought you to their camp, do you remember if the road was gravel or paved?” Matt asked.
Tristan blinked. That was out of left field. He almost said he had no idea, it had been dark, but he paused. Thought back to the way the truck had jolted. No crunch of gravel.
“Dirt,” he said slowly. “Pretty sure.”
Matt nodded, then asked another question. And another.
