I feel Jonah stiffen beside me and I will him to keep his face neutral. Yes, Kate’s reading of the facts make me look bad, but it’s okay. Their job is to stir up drama—and honestly, my storyisa dramatic one. It’s going to make for great TV.
“Yes, this is my first public appearance in a while. And I couldn’t be more excited to be here.” I give Kate a warm smile, which she doesn’t return.
“You two are newlyweds, right?” This from Genevieve, who raises a brow at us. She cuts an imposing figure in all black, with her ice blonde hair cut into a sharp bob.
“Yes,” Jonah says. “We’re still in the honeymoon phase.”
“Did you two get married for love? Or for some other reason?” Genevieve isn’t pulling any punches with these questions, and I feel myself floundering, struggling to find the right answer. I don’t want to lie, but I also don’t want to say that I enticed Jonah into marriage to the tune of one hundred thousand dollars. It makes me look bad, and it makes him look even worse. I don’t want to ruin his reputation like my parents threatened to do all along.
“No, we didn’t,” Jonah says after a moment. All three of the hosts looked shocked to hear him say it so baldly, and there are a few gasps from the audience. But Jonah plunges ahead. “In fact, we didn’t even like one another the first time we met. But westayedmarried because of love. Because once we got to know each other we couldn’t help it, even though it was the opposite of everything we planned.” He looks at me, a warm smile on his face. “It was impossible for me not to love her, in the end.”
I can’t help but smile back at him, even though I’m supposed to be looking at the talk show hosts and coming up with my own answer to their question.
“Well, you two certainlylooklike you’re in love,” Taylor says. “But if you didn’t like one another what ended up bringing you to the altar?”
I wince internally. It seems like we won’t be avoiding that question. Jonah looks at me, and I give him a small nod.
“Winnie needed money from her trust fund, and she needed to be married to get it. And I needed money for…” He trails offand swallows. I rest a hand on his knee and hope it reassures him, hope it communicates that he can share as much or as little as he’d like. “My mom survived breast cancer. And like many Americans, her insurance didn’t cover everything. I needed money to help my family. To give back to the woman who gave me life. To do my part as her son.”
It’s the perfect thing to say. Kate starts smiling and Taylor even wipes her eye. In the audience, a few people start clapping, and one woman even shouts, “Now that’s a man!”
Only Genevieve remains unmoved, though I can see her casting an eye over Jonah. There’s more to him—and to us—than she originally thought.
“Well, that’s certainly a noble reason for needing money, Jonah. But what about you, Winnie? Why did you need it so badly?” Genevieve looks directly at me when she says this.
“And is the money and the marriage connected to why you ran away in the first place?” Kate adds.
Jonah grabs my hand and interlaces our fingers, because he knows that no matter how I answer these questions, I’ll be baring some part of my soul, of my past, on live TV. Exposing my parents as abusive and controlling was never part of my plan when I quit social media. I never wanted the world to know about everything they did to me. It made me feel ashamed, deep down, because their treatment was evidence that they didn’t love me. And for a parent not to love their child—well, there must have been something wrong withmefor that to happen.
But now I know that there’s nothing wrong with me, and everything wrong withthem.As I open my mouth to tell the world about my past, I find that I’m more than happy to share. This isn’t my shame any longer. It’s theirs.
“I needed money because my parents sued me after I left. And I was worried that they might send someone after me, or try to get court ordered conservatorship of me. I needed tobe prepared to fight them with everything I had.” My voice is strong, but a note of vulnerability flickers in it. “And I didn’t run away from my parents. I escaped them.”
Gasps echo from the audience once more, and I can tell that my bold choice of words is making an impact.
“Say more about what you mean by the word escape.” Genevieve props a hand under her chin and stares at me.
Beside her, Kate nods, and Taylor says, “It’s a strong word.”
“Every move I made in my parents’ home was watched and critiqued. Every choice I had was taken away from me. And every penny I earned on social media and through pageants went to my parents. When I say escape, I mean that I wouldn’t have survived if I had stayed.”
Taylor looks shocked, Kate looks saddened, and Genevieve is giving me a smile as wide as the Cheshire Cat. She knows this is going to make for excellent television, and she can’t wait to ask me more.
“I am thankful every day that you did get out,” Jonah says. His voice is quiet and I know he likely just means it for me, but the microphone picks it up, of course. I’m sure if I looked at the audience, I’d see women swooning in their seats.
From there, Kate, Taylor, and Genevieve pepper me with questions, asking me about my relationship with my parents, my childhood, and how I got out. I don’t mince my words, but I also don’t tell them everything. I make sure they know how abusive my mom and dad were, but I leave out some of the more horrific details. No one needs to know about the moments where my mom denied me food before going on stage, and no one needs to know about the fight I had with my dad before Jonah and Candice came to my rescue.
I tell them all about the financial abuse, and how hard I worked while both of my parents reaped the rewards. This getssympathy from Taylor, but only hard stares from Genevieve and Kate.
“Why did you let them take all that money from you?” Kate asks. “Why let it go on for so long?”
Beside me, I feel Jonah tense once more, and I know that my valiant, protective husband is one second away from coming to my defense. And honestly, Kate’s questionisrude, and it does piss me off, but it’s her job to dig into uncomfortable places.
“Because I was a child when I started working for them, and there was no one else to protect me. Because by the time I realized what they were doing and how wrong it was, the abuse had been going on for years. Because for a long time, I thought I could get them to love me if I did everything they asked of me. Every child wants their parents’ approval and love.” I shake as I say these words, as I lay the darkest parts of me out for the world to see.
“And do you still?” Genevieve smiles at me now, and I can tell I’ve won her over.
“Honestly?” I glance at Jonah, and see pride written across his face. “No. I have everything I ever wanted right here beside me. I never plan on contacting my parents again, and I hope they stay far away from me.”
