“Sometimes I think I’m a bit too optimistic,” I say quietly. “It took me longer to realize how fucked up my life was because of it. I kept trying to smile away the pain, telling myself that things would get better, that my parents would change. But things didn’t get better until I left.”
“You’re kind, Winnie, so you expect others to be that way, too. It’s one of the best things about you. I don’t want you to become jaded or cynical. I’m pessimistic enough for the both of us, and I like your sunshine. Don’t let them take it from you.”
Jonah’s words make my throat tighten and I swallow back my tears. “Thank you. But the worst part is that some sick part of me still wants to be good enough for them. I just wish I could be a little less…needy.”
I watch as Jonah grips the steering wheel with such force his hands turn white. “You’re not needy,” he finally says, words laced with emotion. “You’re their child. Of course you want their love. There’s nothing…there’s nothing shameful about that, Winnie.”
It hits me that he’s right—I’ve been feelingashamedfor how they treated me and how badly I still wanted them to love me anyway.
“You know, for a man who doesn’t say much, you understand a lot.” I slide my hand over and give his thigh a quick squeeze.
“My mom taught me well.”
“Your mom is pretty amazing. I just hope she likes me back. Maybe now that we’ve owned up to everything, I’ll have a chance.”
Jonah laughs. “You’re a part of our family now. I know it’s not much, and it doesn’t make up for how your parents are, but…I hope it helps ease the pain.”
“It’s everything, Jonah. Everything,” I say honestly.
The foodat the Eighteen-Hundred House is absolutely delicious. Jonah has a pork chop with roasted grapes, and I have the salmon. We also order a cheese plateandchocolate cake, and by the time we leave, I’m about to burst out of my dress and a little tipsy from the wine, but I’ve never felt happier. More alive. More in love.
Jonah and I arrive at the Neon Horseshoe after open mic night has already started. While he goes to speak with Ronda and sort out our slot, I find Candice and Jenny drinking at the bar.
“Winnie!” Jenny crows. “Just look at you. I love the gloves.”
“Spin!” Candice waves her hand at me. “I need to see the back.”
I spin for them, and pose at the end, hand on my hip, face tilted upwards. I can’t keep it together though, and the wine I’ve drunk makes me giggle.
“Do you like it?”
“I love it!” Candice exclaims. “Beats my outfit by a mile.”
My best friend is in her trademark beat up jeans, boots, and long sleeve t-shirt, but because she’s Candice, she still looks hot as sin in it. Jenny is wearing all black, which sets off the color of her hair beautifully.
Jenny presses a drink into my hand, but I shake my head and put it down. “I can’t drink anymore. Jonah and I are singing tonight! I need to be sober by the time we go on.”
“Oh my God!” Candice all but squeals. “Are you serious?”
“Yes! We decided to the other night.”
I fill Candice and Jenny in on everything that’s been going on between Jonah and I, and tell them about the lawsuit as well. I even admit that I told Jonah that I loved him while I had a fever in the bath, but instead of laughing, Candice touches her heart and Jenny gives me the biggest smile.
“I’m so happy for you, Winnie.” Candice pulls me into her side and squeezes me. “You deserve this. All of it. Winning against your parents. Finding love with Jonah. I don’t think anyone deserves love more than you.”
“Stop,” I sniff, “I’m going to cry. And I may not be a pageant queen anymore, but I’m not going up on that stage with runny mascara.”
Jenny snorts. “Did Jonah tell you he loved you back right away?” Candice shoots her a look. “What? I want to make sure he’s worthy of our girl.”
I just laugh. “Well, at first he didn’t believe me because I was sick, but he said it back anyway. And then he picked me up and put me back to bed.”
“Damn. That’s so cute it almost makes me regret my chronic case of being single.” Jenny takes a sip of her wine and frowns.
“I mean, you could...” I glance around the room and spy Beau chatting with Nathan at the other end of the bar. I remember what I heard Beau say about her after they danced last time we were here, and I decide it’s better not to mention him at all. “Date,” I finish a bit lamely.
Jenny barks out a laugh. “Who? The two of you snapped up the only good men in town. Besides, I have Lila to worry about and my—it’s just not the right time.”
“Well, if Jonah has a hot friend I don’t know about, who is also kind, respectful, and willing to wait until you’re ready, I’ll send him your way,” I tell her.
