“Your mother is right. Think about all she’s done for you.”
This is always my dad’s line. I think it’s one she feeds to him, thinking that she can guilt me into being compliant. It used to work. I used to be happy having my parents’ approval and attention and I would do anything to get it. I felt lucky to have a mother who went with me to every pageant and supported me.But once she booked my first brand deal and I started making money, I realized that nothing she’d done had been for me.
It had been for her and my dad all along.
“I’ve done a lot for you, too,” I muster up the courage to say.
My mom just snorts and rolls her eyes. My dad swigs his beer and says nothing.
The memory makes my stomach hurt. I hope this lawsuit will be the last I ever see of them, but deep down, I know that’s wishful thinking.
Jonah insistson coming to the barn with me to witness my first official riding lesson. According to Candice, a man attending one’s riding lesson is basically porn for horse girls, so I should be happy. Instead, I’m nervous as hell as I approach the mounting block where Rosie is standing and waiting for me.
“You sure she’s ready to ride, Candice?” Jonah grumbles loudly.
I whirl around and stalk back to where he is at the fence. “I’ll have you know that I?—”
“I meant Rosie, Win, not you. I want to make sure she’s safe for you.”
“And you think I’m somehow not concerned for my best friend’s safety?” Candice arches a brow at Jonah under her black hat. “You know better than to question my judgment. I’ve been training her for weeks, and she’s a lot calmer. She’s ready. Besides, Winnie needs this.”
My best friend knows me so well and can clearly tell that I’m feeling a bit off today. We might have started out as merely pen pals, but in the years since, we’ve come to know one anotherinside and out. I’m grateful that Candice can see through my pageant queen smiles.
“Candice is right. I’ve heard horses are the best kind of therapy and I definitely need some of that right now. So stop being protective or whatever.” I give Jonah my best steely look and hope that it communicates that I’m being serious. I don’t need his protection—not if it comes with a side of control. I’ve had enough of that to last a lifetime.
“You had another kind of therapy last night, didn’t you?” Jonah smirks at me.
“That doesn’t count. It wasn’t good enough to be therapy.” As soon as the words are out of my mouth, I know I’ve made a mistake.
“That’s not what I heard from you last night. When you screamed my name, and begged me, and admitted you were my wife just so you could have my?—”
“Jonah! There are other people around,” I whisper.
He just shrugs.
I turn my back towards him and walk over to the mounting block, muttering “arrogant ass” as I go. I need to be focused on riding, not on Jonah’s smug face.
“Alright, Rosie girl,” I say, stepping into the stirrup the way Candice showed me. “It’s time for a little action.” I swing myself into the saddle, using the muscles that I’ve built up over my weeks of working here.
Rosie shifts a bit as I settle onto her back and I give her a scratch on the neck in her favorite spot, hoping she keeps calm. “It’s just me,” I murmur. “Just Winnie.”
Candice strides over, and shows me how best to hold the reins and helps me adjust my seat.
“We’ll start just with some walking,” she says. “And I’ll be with you two the entire time.”
31
JONAH
Winnie’s lessongoes really well, all things considered. Candice leads her around the ring on Rosie’s back, and talks her through how to steer and signal with her legs. They don’t go any faster than a walk, though I can tell that Rosie is itching to go a bit faster at times. At the end, Winnie tries steering Rosie without any help, and when it goes well, Nathan and I both give her a thumb’s up from the side of the ring.
Winnie dismounts after her lessons, and bounds over to me, a glorious smile on her face.
“Did you see? I walked her all on my own!”
“I did, and you looked good doing it.” Her smile is infectious and before I know it, I’m grinning down at her. “You did great. Before you know it, we’ll be on a trail ride together.”
I wince internally at my mistake. Winnie and I might not be married long enough to go on trail rides together. She only needs to be with me until the lawsuit is concluded.
