My mom grabs her yarn and needles from her bag and shows Winnie the beginnings of a sweater. Winnie compliments my mom on her fine stitches and the intricate pattern, and I can tell my mom is eating it up. Winnie’s charm is starting to work on her.
Same, Mom. Same.
Eventually, the receptionist calls my mom over, and she and my dad disappear behind closed doors.
“My dad goes in to every appointment with her,” I explain. “He waits outside the room while they do the mammogram because of the radiation, but I know that if he could he’d be with her then, too.”
“That’s sweet,” Winnie says. “And exactly the type of relationship I want to have. I don’t think I ever saw either of my parents do something like that. My dad can’t even make his own doctor’s appointments, let alone go with my mom when she has one.”
“How’d you come out so kind with parents like that?” I wonder aloud.
Winnie’s cheeks go pink. “Thanks, Jonah. I think they’re just unusually selfish assholes and I’m the normal one.”
“Nah, nothing normal about you.”
“Oh, stop,” Winnie protests. “You know, you’re a lot like your parents. You’re kind like they are and um…devoted to the things you care about.”
My chest fills with warmth. Because Winnie Grant sees parts of me that I thought most people didn’t. She notices how hard I work to protect the things and the people I care about.
“Thanks, Win,” I say.
Winnie and I continue to banter (okay, fine, to flirt) back and forth, and though the dread I’ve been feeling all day never fullyleaves me, talking to her keeps me distracted. It makes the hour that passes before my mom and dad return go quickly, and it keeps my thoughts from spiraling. She squeezes my hand when my mom tells us that everything looks good but that the scan results will come in next week, and I actually feel like everythingmightbe okay.
I didn’t get the chance earlier to ask her if she was trying to be the person I would let take care of me. But I think I’ve got my answer.
28
WINNIE
On the Saturdayafter Meg’s checkup appointment there’s line dancing at the Neon Horseshoe. Jonah is playing with a band there, and if all goes well, he’s going to ask the other musicians if they want to record his album with him. We meet Candice, Jenny and the rest of the horse rescue crew there before it gets started, and Jonah goes up on stage for sound check with the band.
It makes me happy that some of my trust fund money is being put to such a good use. Over the last few days, I’ve heard him play all of the songs he plans to record, and he’s seriously talented. I watch as he unpacks his guitar and then starts to tune, his sure fingers deftly working over the strings and pegs.
“Uh, hello? Earth to Winnie?” Jenny says, waving a drink in my face.
“Oh, sorry!” I grab the pink cocktail from her hand.
“You sure seemed interested in Jonah setting up with the band,” she says, smirking.
I fumble around for a comeback but fail and just end up gulping down half my drink. “I’m just uh, interested in music,” I finally say.
“Sure, sure.” Jenny waggles both her brows at me.
“I mean, what about you?” I ask, trying to change the subject. “Is there anyone you’re interested in?”
“No, absolutely not.” But then she flicks her eyes at Beau and a pained expression passes over her face.
“Okay,” I say. I don’t want to push her. If there’s something going on between Jenny and Beau, clearly it’s complicated. As the queen of complicated, I know better than to pry and force her to open up—it will just hurt her. “Relationships are scary,” I add.
“Yeah.” Jenny sighs, and then tips her chin towards Candice and Nathan, who are wrapped up in each other at the other end of the bar. “It makes me a bit jealous, seeing them together. They look so…happy. So at ease with one another. Like nothing could shake them.” Nathan says something that makes Candice dissolve into a fit of giggles, and then she presses a kiss to his cheek.
“They deserve that ease, after everything they went through. They found their way back to one another but it took some guts and some real risks.”
“Love is supposed to be easy,” Jenny says. “But it just never has been for me.” She gives me a small shrug and a sad smile.
“I’ve never been in love,” I admit. “Not really anyways. My parents were too controlling to really let me date anyone they didn’t approve of, and they forced me to break up with the one guy I thought I might actually like. What about you?”
Jenny tilts her head and thinks about the question, her red hair falling over her shoulders like water. It almost makes me miss my long hair.
