“It’s not just that, though. It’s this.” I reach up and rest my thumb near her eye. “Your eyes are so much more alive and expressive in real life than they are in this photo.”
I might be imagining things, but Winnie seems to lean almost imperceptibly into my touch.
“Jonah,” she says, her voice hoarse, her eyes soft.
“Yeah, Win?” I say, using the nickname I’ve heard Candice call her for the very first time.
“Thank you.” And then she’s pulling away, her gaze shuttering, the moment closed. She turns back to the photo and points to it. “As you can see, this woman doesn’t wear jeans. She’s too polished for jeans. That’s who my parents wanted me to be.”
“And who are you? Who do you want to be?”
“Honestly,” she says, glancing around the room, at the mess of clothing. “I have no idea. Now that I’m not a pageant queen or a social media star, I don’t know what to do with myself.”
“We can figure it out together, if you want,” I find myself saying. “I’m happy to listen to you and talk about the stuff you enjoy doing, is all.” I feel myself blushing, and can only hope my beard is hiding the worst of it.
“Thanks, Jonah,” Winnie says, gracing me with that sunny smile of hers.
It’s so bright, I have to look away. Staring directly into the sun is tempting, but always leads to heartache.
I change the subject. “I came in here to ask if you wanted to meet my parents soon. Tomorrow night?”
“Sure!” Winnie chirps. “I’d love to meet them. Have you told them about us yet?”
“That’s next on my list.”
My parents takethe news that their only son has gotten married without them knowing about as well as you might expect. My mom looks at me in shocked silence and my dad’s mouth drops open and he gapes at me like a fish.
“Jonah,” my mom finally says. “What were you thinking?”
“I was thinking that I’m in love. I was thinking that I’d finally met a woman worth committing to,” I say, crossing my arms and making my expression bullish. I’m stubborn, which my parents are well aware of, and this is the type of reaction they’ll expect from me.
“It doesn’t sound like you really know her well enough to love her.” My mom’s voice is sharp, like it used to be when I was a teenager and acted out.
“I know enough. Winnie is kind. And quick-witted. She’s got layers, and is whip smart. She’s funny, too. We have a good time together.” I realize that I’m telling the truth as soon as the words leave my mouth. Despite our initial rocky start, somewhere along the way, Winnie and I have become friendlier with one another. I no longer think she’s just a frivolous pageant queen, that’s for sure.
“Having a good time together is not a foundation for a marriage!” My mom throws her hands up and looks to my father for support.
But my dad is the easier to please of the two, and he likes it when we all get along. So he says, “Well Meg, maybe he doesn’t know this Winnie as well as we knew one another, but enjoying time together isn’t nothing.”
“Exactly,” I say, leaping at the chance to win my dad over completely. “We may not know everything about each other but the feelings we have are real.” The lie rolls off my tongue too easily—I’m not usually a very good liar, and can count the number of times I’ve lied to my parents on one hand.
“Maybe we should give her a chance,” my dad says. “If she makes Jonah happy…” He trails off and gives my mom an encouraging smile.
“I asked Winnie to come to dinner tomorrow and meet you. She said she was looking forward to it.”
“Are you sure about this, Jonah?” My mom places her hand on my arm and squeezes.
“I am.”
“Then bring her over. Butdon’texpect my best cooking. Or dessert.”
20
WINNIE
The first morningI wake up at Jonah’s house, I learn that he’s incredibly grumpy in the morning. Specifically, before he has coffee. I’m an early riser because I love waking up to a still and quiet world, and basking in being alone. Jonah is clearly an early riser only because he has to be.
I get out of bed at six and find him in the kitchen staring into his mug of coffee like it holds the answers to the universe in it. He doesn’t acknowledge my presence as I look through the cabinets for a mug.
