I've known it for years. Known that every beating brings me closer to the edge. Known that Darian's control is slipping, that his rage is getting harder to contain.
But knowing it and accepting it are two different things.
"I don't know how to leave," I admit, my voice breaking. "I don't know where I'd go or how I'd survive. I don't have money or skills or?—"
"You have Lorenth."
I look at her, tears streaming down my face.
"You have a soulmate who came all this way to find you," Mira says gently. "A man who looked at you like you hung the stars. Who kissed you like he was drowning and you were air. That's not nothing, Senna. That's everything."
I want to believe her.
Gods, I want to believe her so badly it hurts.
But the fear is still there, coiled tight around my ribs, whispering that I'm not brave enough. That I don't deserve this. That running will only make things worse.
"What if he doesn't want me now that he knows the truth?" I whisper. "What if he finds out how broken I am and changes his mind?"
Mira pulls me back into her arms, holding me tight. "Then he's an idiot. But I don't think he will."
I close my eyes, breathing in the faint scent of lavender that always clings to Mira's clothes, and let myself imagine it.
Leaving.
Running.
Finding Lorenth and letting him pull me into that world of lantern-light and possibility.
But then I think of Darian's face. The cold fury in his pale eyes when he saw me with Lorenth. The way his fingers dug into my arm hard enough to bruise.
And I tremble.
Because I know—deep in my bones—that if this is how he reacted to just seeing me with another man, what he'd do if I actually tried to leave would be so much worse.
11
LORENTH
The inn's mattress is a lumpy disaster, but I don't sleep anyway.
I spend the entire night staring at the water-stained ceiling, replaying every second of yesterday. Senna's face when she turned and saw me—that flash of recognition before she tried to bury it. The way her storm-gray eyes went wide with something that looked like terror mixed with longing. How she pretended not to know me, voice shaking as she lied through her teeth.
Then that bastard grabbed her. Dragged her away while she stumbled, and I just stood there like a fucking coward.
I roll onto my side, the bed frame creaking under my weight, and press the heel of my hand against my sternum. The bond pulls tighter, sharper than it's been in days. It's been gnawing at me since the moment she left the Masquerade, but yesterday—seeing her again—it became damn near unbearable.
Like something vital has been ripped out of my chest and is walking around separate from me.
Morning light filters through the grimy window, casting long shadows across the cramped room. I push myself upright, running both hands through my hair hard enough to hurt.
Think, Lorenth.Use your godsdamn brain.
She wasn't happy to see her husband. That much was clear. The way she flinched when he touched her. The panic in her eyes when she realized he'd seen us together. The tremor in her voice when she tried to dismiss what we shared.
And she's not from the city. She panicked when the bells rang at daybreak, bolted like her life depended on getting home. Now I'm thinking it was because she needed to be back before he noticed she was gone.
My jaw clenches hard enough to make my teeth ache.
