“Which we don’t have today.” Joey peered through the windshield. “But hey, your first white Christmas.”
He smiled at her. “That’s right—my first white Christmas.”
He would be incredibly busy on Christmas Eve, as the first concert was that evening, and then Bryce had planned a birthday party for OJ at the ranch afterward. The forecast for Christmas Eve called for wind and overcast skies right now.
He could admit he had been praying with as much fervor as he had that it would not snow during the concert.Please, Dear God, he thought once again.I only need two clear hours out of this whole year.
That wasn’t entirely true, because he’d like it to be clear for the December twenty-seventh concert, as well as the New Year’s Eve and New Year’s Day concerts, and the January sixth concert, and he once again wondered how he had allowed himself to be talked into having five outdoor concerts during a Wyoming winter.
He looked over to Joey. “Are you ready?”
“Are you?” she asked. “This is where my family goes to church, and everyone is going to see us walk in together.”
“Well, they already know we’re together,” Adam said.Going with Joey wasn’t the reason his pulse bobbed in the back of his throat like an apple on Halloween evening. He looked toward the building, the stained glass window overlooking the parking lot bringing an odd sense of comfort to him he hadn’t expected.
Joey reached across the console and took his hand. “You’re nervous.”
“Yes,” he said. “But not because I’m with you.”
All of the Youngs were religious. They attended church, and Adam simply didn’t think for one moment he could stay with Joey long term should he choose not to. She didn’t like contention, and every Sunday would reopen the rift between them.
Adam also didn’t want to fake his belief or his desires, and he drew a deep breath and pressed his eyes closed.
“I can say a prayer before we go in,” Joey whispered.
Adam nodded without opening his eyes. Joey exhaled, and Adam focused on the sound, and then switched his focus to his own breathing. He felt as the air entered his nose and filled his lungs, lifting his chest open and wide. He controlled the way it went out, feeling it release and escape.
“Dear Heavenly Father,” Joey said. “We come before Thee as Thy children to ask a special blessing on our church attendance today. Bless our minds to be open, our hearts to be pure, and our intentions to be righteous. Bless us each with the message that we need to hear to progress on our path back to Thee.”
She paused, and Adam had never heard anyone pray the way Joey did. Her voice sweet and angelic, praying for him,made his chest hitch and his composure collapse. His next breath did not enter his nose smoothly, but he stuttered.
Joey’s hand in his tightened, and she simply added, “Amen.”
“Amen,” Adam whispered, sealing the prayer with his own approval. He looked over to Joey, who gazed back at him in a soft, non-intense way that Adam really needed in his life.
“I’m glad I don’t have to walk in alone,” he said.
“Let’s go then, cowboy.” She reached into the back seat and picked up his hat and handed it to him. “Remember, you can use this any time you need to.” She smiled at him playfully then, and Adam settled his hat on his head as they got out of the car together.
She met him at the hood, and Adam took her hand as they made measured, even steps and walked side by side toward the little white building with the stained glass window.
Going up the steps and through the front door was easier than Adam anticipated, and inside, the scent of freshly washed laundry greeted him, along with a heavy blast of warm air that chased the cold out of his skin and nose and soul.
Adam smiled as he entered the chapel. As a kid, he’d always described feeling the Lord in his life as a warm tingle, and he felt that same way as Joey led him down a couple of rows and then stepped in far enough for just the two of them to sit on the end of the bench. A family had taken up half of the bench on the other side, and Adamducked his head and used his cowboy hat to hide the rest of the congregation.
He didn’t need to look around for her parents, or her aunts and uncles, or her cousins, or her grandparents. He didn’t need the pressure of their gazes or the weight of their expectations.
In that moment, Adam knew that onlyGod’sexpectations mattered to him. He glanced over to Joey and amended the thought,Well, God’s and Joey’s.
His mother would say she was a good influence on him, and he helped her shrug out of her coat, which she draped across her lap. He put his arm around her and lifted his head to drink in the wood in the chapel. It looked like a boat had been hollowed out with wood everywhere, and it reminded him of the forest, and the mountains, and being outside. Adam settled further into himself, relaxing in a place he thought he never would.
Someone played the piano, but Adam didn’t look around for the origin of the sound. He simply closed his eyes, and in the deep brown darkness that he could see, he focused on how he felt.
It feltrightto be at church today with Joey. It felt good that he’d gotten up, gotten himself ready, and had come to sacrifice his time to be closer to the Lord.
The service started with the pastor announcing that they would all stand and sing two Christmas hymns together before he would begin his talk. Adam had never been much for singing, but he lovedAngels We Have Heard on HighandO Holy Night, and he joined his voice to the other members of the congregation as they lifted praise to God.
Then the pastor stood behind the pulpit and Adam lasered his focus on him. “Brothers and sisters,” he said. “It is a beautiful time of year to reflect on our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, and God the Father. I would like to start by asking you what I hope is a simple question, and if it is not a simple question, that the more you ponder it and try to answer it in your own life, that it will become such.”
