He looks at me like I've said something profound. "You really believe that."
"I do."
"Your turn. Tell me something nobody knows."
I bite my lip, debating. After a pause, I say, "Sometimes I resent my dad. For getting sick. For needing me. For..." I stop, horrified at what I almost said.
"For dying and leaving you alone," Silas finishes quietly.
Tears prick my eyes. "That makes me a terrible person."
"No. It makes you human." He shifts slightly closer. "Grief isn't clean or simple. You can love someone and resent them at the same time. That's normal."
"You sound like you know from experience."
"I resented every single person in my unit who died. Resented them for leaving me, for making me the one who survived, for—" His voice catches. "For not being strong enough to make it when I did."
"Silas—"
"I know it's irrational. I know they didn't choose to die. But part of me is still angry at them for it."
Without thinking, I close the distance between us, moving to sit beside him. "Thank you for telling me that."
"Thank you for understanding."
We sit in silence, shoulders touching, staring at the fire. His hand rests on the couch between us, and I have to physically restrain myself from reaching for it.
"We should probably sleep," Silas says eventually. "Big day tomorrow."
"What are we doing tomorrow?"
"Whatever you want. Ice skating on the lake, maybe. Hiking. There's a viewpoint about two miles up that's worth the trek."
I smile. "All of it. I want to do all of it."
"Then that's what we'll do." He stands and offers me his hand. "Come on. Bedtime."
I let him pull me to my feet, and for a moment we're standing too close, his hand still holding mine. His eyes drop to my lips, and my breath catches. But then he steps back, releases my hand, and the moment passes.
"Goodnight, Iris."
"Goodnight, Silas."
I head upstairs on shaky legs, and when I reach my door, I look back. He's still standing by the couch, watching me with an expression I can't quite read.
Hungry. Cautious. Conflicted.
I know the feeling.
Chapter 5 - Silas
I don't sleep. Can't stop thinking about her. The way she looked at me across the dinner table. The way she moved closer on the couch, offering comfort without words. The way her hand felt in mine. The way I almost kissed her.
I wanted to. God, I wanted to. Wanted to thread my fingers through that soft hair and taste those lips that have been tormenting me for days. But it's too soon. Too fast. I need to slow down, give her space, not overwhelm her with the intensity of what I'm feeling. Because what I'm feeling is terrifying.
I'm falling for her. Hard and fast and completely out of control. And I've known her for less than twenty-four hours.
This is insane.
