“I have a feeling the hardest part is still coming.” Gus frowned at the thought. “I’ll see you Monday.”
He tossed the phone so that he could pull on his T-shirt. He’d spent the day before at the office catching up on some of the things he’d let slide while he’d been on hiatus, and now it was time to move forward with his personal situation. He headed back to the living room, where he found his mother staring out the window. She’d been quiet for the few days he’d been back in DC.
“I haven’t seen Ollie since before Christmas,” she said quietly.
“Me either.” He walked over to where she was and stood at her side.
“And Harrison is always so busy with work when I do see him. His head is a million miles away.”
“He’s grinding right now, but it will get better. They try to kill their residents so only the strong survive.”
“Iris hates me.”
“No, she doesn’t.”
“Well, she doesn’t like me very much and . . .” Her voice caught, and she buried her head in her hands. “How can I face Sunday and Ford after I abandoned them? Will they ever believe that I cried myself to sleep for months and months after I left? That I saw their faces in my dreams? That I still have empty holes inside me?”
Shit. Something new occurred to him. “You know that Ford has a son?”
His mother stilled. She looked like she wanted to say something but couldn’t. Slowly, she shook her head and whispered, “No.” Then attempted a smile. “But I’m happy for him.”
He didn’t know what to say to make her feel better, so Gus remained silent.
“I’ve wondered about them every single day since that night. I’ve wondered what Porter told them when they woke up to find us gone. He was so angry back then and a part of me doesn’t blame him.” She threaded her fingers together and shuddered. “I forced myself not to know a thing about them because it would hurt too much. It was the only way I could survive. The only way I could be a parent.”
Gus could relate. He’d done the same. “Oliver and Harrison love you. That’s not going to change. Let’s get past this and then I can head back to Fire Lake and maybe we can all have some closure.”
Clarice turned and touched the side of his face. “You’re so strong. Always have been. I think that maybe I’ve relied on that strength more than I should have but I’m grateful for you. Forwhat you’ve done for this family.” She smiled. “You’re going to be a wonderful father someday.”
An image of Faith zipped past his eyes, and he had to blink it away when the intercom sounded.
“Here we go,” his mother whispered.
* * *
Oliver and Harrison had been surprisingly calm about everything. Maybe it was because they’d been so young, and the memories of Fire Lake, of their father and older siblings, weren’t as significant as Gus’s. There’d been a moment when Harrison walked out of the room, but eventually, he’d come back, and they talked some more. There was a definite weight lifted from Clarice’s shoulders, and any doubt he’d had about what he’d put into motion was gone.
There was no moving forward until the past was laid to rest. He was beginning to realize that maybe all the Boone children were spinning their wheels, and it was time to stop.
“Call me when you’ve talked to him.” His mother pressed a kiss to his cheek, and he slid from the car. Gus had ten minutes to catch his flight back to Albany.
“I will. And don’t worry. Things will be okay.”
Her eyes were still shadowed. “Tell Ford and Sunday, I love them. Please do that for me if they allow it.”
He held his mother’s gaze, then closed the door to the SUV. He jogged into the airport and forty-five minutes later was in the air.
The flight was short, and he landed at Albany around two o’clock in the afternoon. A half an hour later, he was driving down the road in his old pickup, windows down, tunes blasting, and feeling something that was hard to describe.
It was part fear. Part anticipation. Part relief. And a little bit of something else he couldn’t quite put his finger on. Whateverit was, all those things rolled into the kind of lump that had his nerves jangling like a junkie wanting a fix.
He was a man who craved control, so this was all new, but Gus supposed it was par for the course, considering the circumstances. He was on his way to see Porter Boone. This bird had finally come home to roost.
He pulled into the driveway and parked in Ford’s spot, which was empty. Then for the first time since he’d arrived in Fire Lake, Gus walked through the front doors of the house and paused. It smelled like pine and lemon. He could literally feel the memories wash over him.
Running through the foyer to grab snacks for the lake.
Peeking into the office searching for his father.
