“Porter?” She slowly nodded. “Yes. But it was different from what I felt for Marshall. It was more . . . comforting, if that makes sense. I felt I would be okay with Porter. Then when Marshall showed up alive and real with a beating heart and his great big arms that gave the best hugs, everything changed. He changed — damaged.”
Gus knew it was common for soldiers to experience PTSD. He also knew how devastating it could be.
“He had trouble coping and was hurt about Porter and me. Angry that the life he’d envisioned was gone and I . . . I wanted it back, too. I mourned for what could have been. We had an affair.” She looked away and took a moment. “But it didn’t last long. I couldn’t live with the guilt and Marshall was clearly unwell. I begged him to get help, but he refused and stopped coming around.
“I tried to live my life. Tried to be happy, but it’s hard to do when half of your heart is missing. And it wasn’t just me. Porter felt the same. He loved his brother so much, and to see him like that was hard. To know that he was my second choice was harder. Porter and I fell into our kind of normal. It was a polite relationship, and for some years, it worked. It’s easy to let things be when your dreams are all but shattered.
“Then, one afternoon, about six months after Iris was born, Marshall showed up at the house. Drunk or high — take your pick. He had a gun, and the police were called, and when Porter came home, all the secrets and lies were exposed.”
His mother looked away, then walked to the other side of the room. “His rage was palpable. Instead of jail, Marshall was hauled off to a psychiatric hospital in the city, Bellevue, which was what he needed. The man was clearly ill. I thought maybe we could make things right again, but Porter and I fought more than we talked. It was an exhausting, terrible time. The fights we had. The awful things we said and couldn’t take back. All of it stemmed from such unhappiness and you kids were caught in the middle. Porter was convinced that I’d passed off Marshall’s children as his and one night, in a fit of anger or pain or something dark I told him that he was right. He knew Sunday and Ford were his, because Marshall was gone when they were conceived, but not the rest of you.”
Her voice dropped to just above a whisper. “He told me to leave and to take all of you with him. Said he never wanted to see any of us again and that if I stayed in Fire Lake, he’d destroy me. Take my children from me.” Her voice broke on a sob, but she kept on, eyes fixed on a spot out in the dark. “He made me choose and I chose to live some kind of life even if it meant giving up the twins. Knowing I would never see Sunday or Ford again, damn near killed me. But I have you, Ollie, Harrison, andIris to think about. I emptied the accounts in my name so that I could start over and left.”
Gus let all of it sink in, and after a few moments, he looked at his mother. “All of this is the truth?”
“I have no reason to lie now.”
She’d said the affair was brief, which meant that Marshall couldn’t be the father of his younger siblings. But that didn’t mean shit when it came to Gus. “Is Marshall Boone my father?”
She looked up, tears streaming down her face, and whispered. “I don’t know.”
Gus had no reply. In fact, he had nothing. What did a man say when presented with this kind of information from a woman he’d loved and trusted his entire life?
Her pain was obvious, and he was man enough to know that things hadn’t been easy for his mother. More than that, he was human enough to know how easy it was to make mistakes.
“God, I’ve made a mess of things,” she whispered hoarsely. “You must hate me.”
“I don’t hate you, Mom. But there are gaps I need filled in. Holes that need to be patched.”
“Ask me anything.”
He pointed to the sofa and once they were both settled, he spoke quietly.
“Tell me about Marshall Boone. I want to know what kind of man he was.”
Chapter Twenty-Two
Faith booked a hotel room not far from the airport using her own money. It was nothing like the hotels she would have booked months ago, but it was clean, and the water was hot. Sleep-deprived, she looked at the bed longingly, but with only a couple of hours to get ready, there was no time to relax. She had to prepare and be clear-headed for this meeting with her parent’s lawyer.
Mr. Bradford had been quite clear on the time.
She took a long shower and applied minimal makeup, enough to cover the bags under her eyes with just a hint of gloss on her lips and an extra coat of mascara. Her hair she left to dry naturally; two hours later, it fell down her back in silky auburn waves. She’d chosen a simple cream-colored dress that was sleeveless with a high neck and a hemline that hit a couple of inches above her knees. An expensive holdover from her previous life, it was a favorite and the only dress she’d kept. She grabbed a white eyelet sweater and slipped into a pair of black flats before she tucked her phone into a small bag.
Her Uber was outside. She was ready to go.
The ride downtown took a bit; the streets were busy, and by the time she reached Market Street, it was pushing ten a.m. With thirty minutes to spare, she grabbed her favorite latte from a Starbucks. Fire Lake was miles from any Starbucks, and while she’d grown to love Hal’s strong brew, the latte was heaven. She enjoyed every bit of it as she walked toward the bay before dipping into one of the tallest office buildings in the area. Luxurious and sleek, she took the elevator up to the thirty-first floor, where she found the plush offices of Bradford, Melnick, and Samson.
The young woman at the desk smiled warmly as she crossed the foyer. She was someone Faith recognized from previous visits.
“Good morning, Miss Winters. They’re waiting for you in the conference room. Follow me.”
They? Faith frowned and followed the woman down the hall. Her nerves bubbled close to the surface, and she tried to clamp down on them as the woman opened the last door on the right. She smiled and stepped aside with a nod.
Faith exhaled and walked past her. She blinked away the brilliant sunshine that fell from large windows that banked the entire room, and when her vision cleared, she froze.
Sitting with Mr. Bradford was her financial advisor, Mr. Jackson; that wasn’t totally unexpected, but the woman between them was.
Her mother.
