“For being like this. A whole mess.” I stared at my glass. “I thought I was past it. Thought I’d healed. But when he grabbed me, I was RIGHT back there. With Ahmad. Feeling like that helpless little girl who couldn’t fight back, no matter how hard she tried.”
“Hey.” His hand found my chin, tilting my face up to look at him. “You DID fight back. I saw you. You were scratching,kicking, doing everything you could. That’s not helpless—that’s survival.”
“But if you hadn’t shown up?—”
“I did show up.” His thumb traced my jaw. “I’m here right now. And I’m not going anywhere.”
The way he was looking at me. Like I mattered. Like I was worth protecting.
I kissed him.
Didn’t plan it. Didn’t think it through. Just… reached for the one good thing in the middle of all the bad.
He kissed me back. Soft at first, testing, making sure I wanted this.
I did. Lord, I did.
The kiss got deeper. His hand slid to the back of my neck, angling my head so he could taste me better. I could still feel the Banks reserve on his tongue, the heat of him, the way his whole body was coiled tight like he was holding himself back.
“Mehar.” He pulled away just enough to speak. “We don’t have to do anything. Not tonight.”
“I want to.”
“You sure? After what just happened?—”
“I NEED to feel something good.” I held his gaze, let him see everything I was feeling. “I need to feel like my body belongs to ME again. Please, Thad.”
Something shifted in his face. That careful restraint cracked open to show something hungrier underneath.
“Okay,” he breathed. “But we do this your way. Whatever you need, however you need it. You’re in charge.”
We madeit to his bedroom somehow. I barely clocked the details—big bed, gray sheets, city lights through the windows—before his mouth was on mine again and my brain stopped working.
But when he tried to ease me down onto the mattress, my whole body locked up.
Just for a second. Just a flash—Ahmad’s face above me, his weight pressing me into the bed, his hands around my wrists while he grunted and I stared at the ceiling waiting for it to be over?—
“Wait.” The word scraped out of my throat. “I can’t. Not like that.”
Thad stopped immediately. Took a step back, hands up like I was a spooked animal. “What do you need? Tell me.”
I breathed. In and out. Shoved the memories back down into the box where they lived.
“I need to be on top.”
He didn’t ask why. Didn’t look at me like I was crazy or broken. Just nodded, got on the bed, and lay back against the pillows.
Waiting. Patient. Eyes dark with passion but his body completely still.
Letting me come to him.
I stood at the edge of the bed, heart pounding so loud I could hear it. My fingers found the hem of my shirt and I pulled it over my head. Unhooked my bra. Let it fall to the floor.
His eyes moved over me—slow, appreciating—but he didn’t reach for me. Didn’t move. Just… watched.
I pushed my jeans down. Stepped out of my underwear. Stood there bare and exposed and, for once in my life, didn’t feel the need to cover up or apologize for my body.
“You’re beautiful.” He said it simple, like he was just stating facts. Water is wet. Sky is blue. Mehar is beautiful.
