I wanted her.
I wanted Zainab to feel what I felt—that sickening helplessness when someone you love is in danger and there’s nothing you can do about it. I wanted her to know what it was like to lose everything. To watch her perfect little life crumble while she stood there, powerless, unable to stop it.
I wanted her to suffer.
My thumb hovered over the screen. The photo of Yusef sitting alone on that bench, completely unaware he was being watched.
Rashid’s voice echoed in my head. The lessons he’d taught me. The things he’d shown me about power and leverage and how to break someone without ever laying a hand on them.
You don’t have to hurt them physically, he used to say. You just have to make them believe you can. The fear does the rest.
I smiled.
For the first time in days, I knew exactly what I was going to do.
33
ZAINAB
My ankles were killing me.
I’d been doing laps around the living room for the past twenty minutes, trying to get my blood flowing, trying to shake off the restless energy that came with being trapped in the same four walls day after day. The baby was pressing on everything: my bladder, my spine, my sanity. I couldn’t sit for too long without my back screaming. Couldn’t stand for too long without my feet swelling up like balloons.
Eight months, almost nine months pregnant and under house arrest. What a life.
I paused by the window, stretching my calves, watching the empty street outside. Yusef had been gone for almost an hour now. He’d texted when he got to the mall, just like I asked. But I was still nervous. Couldn’t help it. Every minute he was out there alone felt like an eternity.
My phone buzzed. I snatched it up, hoping it was him.
Mehar:I can’t wait until you’re back home so I can introduce you to my new boyfriend! He’s so amazing Z. I really think this one is different.
I smiled despite my anxiety. My baby sister, in love. After everything she’d been through with Ahmad and our father, shedeserved this. She deserved someone who treated her right. Someone who made her feel safe.
Me:I’m so happy for you!! Can’t wait to meet him. You deserve all the love in the world sis
I set the phone down and kept walking. Living room to kitchen. Kitchen to hallway. Hallway back to living room. The ankle monitor rubbed against my swollen skin with every step, a constant reminder of my cage.
But Prime was coming home today.
The thought made me giddy. Actually giddy, like a teenager waiting for her crush. He’d texted last night saying he had good news to share. I didn’t know what it was, but I didn’t care. I just wanted him here. Wanted to kiss him. Wanted to run my fingers through his locs while he rubbed my feet and told me everything was going to be okay.
Soon. He’d be home soon.
My phone buzzed again.
Unknown number.
I frowned and opened the message.
The first thing I saw was a photo. Yusef. Sitting on a bench in what looked like the mall, smoothie in hand, completely unaware he was being photographed.
My heart stopped.
Then I read the text beneath it.
Unknown:I’ve been watching him all day. Such a sweet boy. It would be a shame if something happened to him. Come to the Starlight Motel on Sepulveda. Room 12. You have 30 minutes. No police. No calls. Come alone or I’ll make sure he never comes home.
The phone slipped from my fingers and clattered to the floor.
