I fall asleep with my head on her hand on the side of the bed.I dream we’re home, sitting in Jace’s room.She’s rocking him to sleep with a bottle in his mouth, and I’m watching them.They’re both happy and healthy, things are the way they should be.She turns and calls my name, I stand over them smiling with all the love I have, my perfect family.
“Nick.”
“Hmm…”
“Nick.”
I feel a hand on my head, tugging at my hair, drawing me out of my sleep.
“Nick?”
I sit up, focusing my eyes in the dark.I don’t see anyone, must be dreaming.I look down and I see something that makes me wipe my eyes and do a double take.Holly shit!
“Cat?”I jump out the chair knocking it over, turning on the light.
“Cat?”She doesn’t move.I hope to God this is not my mind playing tricks on me.I don’t know if I could take it.I run my finger over the side of her cheek and my heart leaps when I see her lips move.This is not a dream—she’s awake!
“Babe, I’m here.”
I wait patiently for her to open her eyes.I don’t care how long it takes her, I’ve waited this long.Her eyes crack open, squinting at the light in the room.Her lips move again, and she can barely make a sound.She tries it again, her voice hoarse, barely audible.
“Nick.”
It comes out so low and hoarse it’s a whisper, but it’s blaring music to my ears.There is not a day I want to stop hearing it.I hug her to me at the same time pressing the call button for the nurse.I close my eyes and thank God this living, breathing, nightmare is over.
While the nurse checks on her and run tests, I call Ava, Chris, and the rest of my family to tell them she’s awake.They all want to come, but I tell them it’s better if they come during the day.She’s still lethargic, she needs to rest.
“Hey, beautiful.”I walk in the room and kiss her on the lips, sitting down on the bed.
“I want to see him, Nick.I’m ready.”
“Okay, if you feel strong enough.I’ll see if they can bring him in here.You were kind of out of it and weak when you woke up.”
“I know, but the first thing I thought about was him.It’s strange…I was pregnant and he was inside me then I wake up and he’s gone.I need to see him for myself, I need to hold him.”She looks down at her hands, lying back in the bed.“It’s my fault; I should have listened to you.”
I lift her chin and tell her to look at me.“None of this is your fault.Don’t ever think that.”I put my hand down and link my fingers with hers.
“I remember what happened.”
“You don’t need to talk about it now.I don’t want you to get upset, all of that can wait.”
“I know I’m going to have to.I want to get it over with, I don’t want to go over it again.”
“Okay.”I wouldn’t want to relive it again, either, but she still has to tell the police what happened.
“My mother got the invitation for the baby shower, and she said she had to see me.There were things she needed to say to me in person; she wanted to be a part of the baby’s life and mine.When I got there, I asked if Kate was there, and she said no.I came in and we talked a little, the doorbell rang and she went to get it.She was taking so long, and I had to leave, I didn’t want you to come home and see I was gone.I knew you would be angry.”
You’re right about that.
“On my way down the stairs, I saw Kate.She was screaming and yelling at me, how it was my fault I took it all away from her, I had the baby and the life she should have had.She was saying all sorts of things.She was out of control.I was trapped on the stairs and scared.My mother tried to calm her down and told her to let me come down.She grabbed my arm.It was horrible, I was crying and screaming.I’ve never seen her like that, the anger and hate she had in her eyes for me.She let go, I lost my balance and started to go back, she tried to grab me back but it was too late.”
“You’re okay now, and safe.I’m not going to let them hurt you anymore.They’re going to pay for what they did.”
“No.I don’t want to keep going through this, let it go.I don’t believe she meant for me to go down those steps.”
“It doesn’t matter if they meant it or not.You almost died because of her.Am I supposed to let that go?”
“I don’t want to fight with them anymore.I want us to move on with our lives,” she says, her voice wavering, eyes watering.“I don’t even know my son’s name.What’s his name?”
