She does something she hasn’t done in months.She hugs me and gives me a genuine smile.I’m still a bit skeptical, but I’m giving her the benefit of the doubt.I look past her when she steps aside to let me in.
“What’s the matter, aren’t you going to come in?”
“Is Kate here?”She has to know by now about me and Nick.I haven’t asked and no one has said anything.That means she didn’t take it well.
“No, she won’t be back for some time.If she comes by at all.”
I follow her upstairs to my father’s office.“I’m not sitting, I can’t stay long.”
“Okay.You look good.Pregnancy suits you.”
“Thanks.”Whoa!A compliment.I can’t remember the last time I got one from her.“Where’s Dad?”
“He’s not here.I wanted to talk to you alone first.I’m glad you came.”She looks at my stomach and her eyes come back to my face.“Boy or girl?”
“We don’t know yet.We decided to wait and be surprised.That’s the theme of our relationship.We figured we might as well keep the surprises coming.Why stop now?”
“I missed you and your sarcasm.”
“Did you really?Thought that was one more thing I did wrong, like falling in love.”
“Falling in love is not the problem.I think choosing the wrong man is.”
“Mother, he’s right for me.I don’t want a yes man, if I wanted that I would have gladly had you pick one for me.He gives me what I need.If I yell there’s a chance he might yell back, if I give him shit he’s going to call me on my bullshit.But I know he loves me unconditionally, with all my faults, and I love him the same.I’m not apologizing anymore for what I’ve found, love—real love.Not the way you want it to be, not exactly the way I want it to be.The way it’s supposed to be.What it’s supposed to do, make me happy.”
“Cat—” She touches her throat clearly uncomfortable and the doorbell rings.
“Go get it,” I say quickly.“If it’s my cab, tell him I’ll be out in twenty minutes or less, depending on what you have to say.”She looks at me and my stomach.I run my hand over it and she opens the door.I close my eyes and blow out a breath.
She’s been down there for a while, and it’s almost time for me to leave if I want to get back to Manhattan before Nick gets home.My legs are starting to cramp from standing, and I know my feet are swelling, I don’t even have to look.I might as well go into my old room, where I left my panther necklace that Nick gave me.That’s the other reason I came here.I can’t seem to get the thing whenever I come here.I grab it fast because I don’t want to think of the last time I was in there.That was horrible.My time is up, I have to leave.She’s going to have to talk to me over the phone.I need to get back before Nick does.I reach the hallway, and my feet touch the first step when I hear her voice behind me, cold and hard as winter.I freeze.
“What the hell are you doing here, you lying, cheating bitch?”
This is not happening.I turn with my back to the railing and hold on with my heart in my throat.I try to step up on the landing, but she walks up so close to me I can’t.
“I didn’t know you were here, Kate.”
“I bet you didn’t.Good thing Dad asked me to drop something off for him.You thought you were going to come in here and slink back out unscathed?I have a lot of things I want to say to you, little sister.”
“You’re hurt and angry.I didn’t get to say it before, I’m sorry.”
“Shut your filthy, lying mouth.You’re not sorry!You’ve taken everything away from me.Look at you.From the moment you came back, everything changed, it all shifted.I can’t stand the sight of you.My baby is supposed to be here now with me.”
“I’m sorry you lost the baby, Kate, I wanted to talk to you, but you were so angry.I didn’t want to upset you more.I didn’t want any of this to happen.”
“You wanted him and you took him.You took the life that was supposed to be mine.”
“That’s not what I wanted.You’re talking like you won’t find love again or have kids, you will.”
“That was my second chance.I was pregnant before for Michael, but he didn’t want to have kids.He said he wasn’t ready, and we would have more kids one day.Funny how that worked out—he has a baby on the way next month.December must have been a good month for everyone except for me.Nick and my baby were my second chance.I didn’t plan it, if that’s what you’re thinking.You want me to be the bad person, I’m not.”
Her voice is getting louder and louder the more she talks.I believe the mere sight of me is driving her mad.Months upon months of pent-up anger toward me is spewing out of her mouth rapidly.
“I didn’t say you were.I’m not accusing you of anything, Kate.”
“It was all ripped away from me—right out of me—for everyone to see.I was left empty, with nothing.You took what should be mine, you have it.You’re living with him, you have the baby that should be mine, is he going to marry you next?Where is it, Cat?Where’s the damn ring?”
She makes a move for my fingers.I move my hand away out of her reach and have to grab ahold of the banister again to steady myself on the steps.“Kate, I need you to back up, please!You’re scaring me.”I look down quickly to the side, my back firmly pressed against the railing.If I make the wrong move, I could go flying down the stairs head first, and worse, injuring the baby.Oh my God, I can’t believe this is happening.She’s upset, so I have to try to stay calm and not rile her up, igniting her fury more than it already is, or this isn’t going to end well.I hear my mother scream her name at the bottom of the staircase.
